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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Do I have a termination??

43 replies

TodaysMostPopular · 29/05/2018 13:22

Absolutely do not want one. Although not planned in the slightest, it is a very much wanted baby.

I met the father 6 weeks ago. Since finding out I'm pregnant, new info has come to light and I'm completely questioning him and his character.

Il be honest, he scares me.

But I don't want to get rid of a baby just to get rid of him Sad

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TodaysMostPopular · 31/05/2018 12:13

I was lucky with my first that my ed didn't want to know. Sadly I'm not so lucky this time.

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HectorlovesKiki · 31/05/2018 12:53

If you no longer want to be in a relationship with him and you have told him this, why are you still communicating with him?
He's a car crash, telling you he loves you, then saying he doesn't, nice to you one minute, horrible the next.
Tell him it's over and if he doesn't accept this, it is his problem, not yours.

I suggest you end all communication with him - is this a possibility for you?

I wish you all the best for the future.

TodaysMostPopular · 31/05/2018 13:04

The last message I sent after he rang me countless times was "do not contact me again or I will be forced to involve the police".

I've blocked him on everything and haven't heard from him since.

He is coming to collect his stuff at 7pm tonight but I will be putting it outside as I do not want any communication with him.

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unicorncow · 31/05/2018 15:03

OMG he sounds just like my ex!! He was fine at the start then he started getting very controlling and then he started throwing things and I found out he had physically assaulted at least 2 of his exes! He ended up leaving me when I was about 5 months pregnant and he's been with at least a few girls since and has announced his "in a relationship" on Fb with his latest one! He did nothing but harass me after he left constantly checking I wasn't seeing anyone else etc and phoning me at stupid times through the night! He threatened to kill himself but it was all for show, he only wanted attention and was blaming me!! He made up loads of lies about me saying I cheated on him, I didn't let him in the scan, I've told him the baby isn't his etc etc!! Stick to what you've said and if he does continue to harass you call the police xx

TodaysMostPopular · 31/05/2018 15:25

Seems people have form for this.

I made an application to Claire's law but absolutely nothing was disclosed. He says he's never hit a woman in his life but his actions tell me different.

Apparently his exes all controlled and physically abused him, yet all he's done is try to control me.
He went absolutely mental if I ever brought up a story which included an ex.

He didn't like me wearing something that a male friend had bought me! Given it's worth a lot, there was no way I was binning it.

I felt trapped and depressed, I started to hate him but he always said it was me, that my problems were causing issues. Funnily enough my ex said exactly the same!!

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MoseShrute · 31/05/2018 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wildlingofthewest · 31/05/2018 15:57

I would think very carefully before deciding to have a baby with this man.
A baby will connect you to him forever unfortunately.
What you need is to get him out of your life for good so he has no hold over you any longer.
Also, do you really want a child to grow up with him as a father, having to put up with all of his shit?

TodaysMostPopular · 31/05/2018 15:59

I've decided I can't continue with this pregnancy regardless of how much I want to.

I can't have this man in mine or this child's life, it's not safe.

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TodaysMostPopular · 31/05/2018 16:01

I've made an appointment for an assessment. It'll be next week. Maybe then I can finally move on.

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Wildlingofthewest · 31/05/2018 16:01

Stay strong lovely. This is tough but you’ll be ok. All the best xxx

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 31/05/2018 16:03

In all honesty I would think very very hard indeed about having the baby of a man who scared me, especially when you are so early in pregnancy.

I would balance up the challenges of a termination against the pain and suffering almost certain to be caused, to both you and the child, by having permanent ties to an abusive and frightening man.

Strigiformes · 31/05/2018 16:04

I'm sorry that you're in this situation op, he sounds awful. If I were you I would have to consider the implications of having this man in my life for the next 18 years plus. Also, there's a chance that he may be abusive to the child to hurt you through them. I know that you want to continue with the pregnancy but I personally wouldn't Flowers

Strigiformes · 31/05/2018 16:05

Sorry, I've just literally seen your update Flowers

TodaysMostPopular · 31/05/2018 16:17

This should be easy for me given that I found out something quite serious.

A baby was involved.

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Wildlingofthewest · 31/05/2018 16:42

Oh Jesus.......

TodaysMostPopular · 31/05/2018 16:54

That's the problem, I didn't know until AFTER I found out I was pregnant.

I guess I just have to remind myself that I'm doing this for the best

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Lavenderlove · 31/05/2018 17:03

Bless you, what a tough decisionSad only you know what's best. I think you will find it hard to ever break contact with this guy if you have a baby together. I had an abusive ex and the courts still decided he had to have weekly contact and even put forward a date when I should be allowing over night visits! Luckily he lost interest pretty quickly and I never had to put my child in that position. Good luck and lots of love on whatever you choose x

FaultySpice · 31/05/2018 17:07

I have a 7yo DS whose dad is a controlling selfish arsehole. He made my life hell when I left him and is still a thorn in my side. As much as I love my DS, I often think I would have made a different choice re continuing pregnancy had I known then what I know now.
I think you are making the right choice. It will be undoubtedly difficult, but you will save yourself 18+ years of potential abuse and misery at the hands of this man. All the best OP 💐

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