Labour nerves

[0310Star]

Im 32 weeks today with DC1, and so far the thought of labour hasn't really bothered me. Saturday I went in for reduced movements (all fine and out within half hour) and just being in a hospital environment has really made me start thinking/worrying about it.
I'm not sure exactly what I am worrying about, I guess maybe the fear of the unknown?!

Is anyone else feeling like this now it's getting closer?

I’m due my second any day - pretty apprehensive myself.

It’s normal to be apprehensive - for most women childbirth is an incredibly painful and demanding process.

That said, it’s (obviously) worth it and it’s a temporary thing. The memories fade and most people don’t have lasting injuries.

I think it would help if people were more realistic about childbirth. It’s not generally an amazing mind-blowing totally empowering experience, neither is it generally a trauma of such insane proportions that you will never recover. What it generally is is bloody difficult but doable, necessary and rewarding.

Don’t know if that’s helpful but it’s what I think needs to be said more - along with the fact that it’s your body, so you’re the boss re interventions and pain relief (and there are no rewards for going without the latter). Learn to advocate for yourself and get your partner to do similarly. On the flip side do remember that the HCPs are experts there to help so unless you feel their care is lacking in some obvious way or they suggest a path that just feels like an absolute no for you - do listen to their advice.

It’s being completely out of control I’m scared of. Not knowing when it’s coming out, not knowing how busy the hospitals going to be or if I’ll get one of the midwives I’ve met or not, whether I’ll have to kick up a stink to get pain relief (even though they claim it’s my choice), plus all the nasties like tearing badly. There is every possibility it will all be fine but it’s still dAunting.

I’m also dreading staying in hospital after. Stuck in a ward with lots of crying babies and no idea how to look after my own one. Rather just go home and work it out in comfort. Scared about what state my body will be in too.

@jusdepamplemousse

I like your advice. Very rational. I think I’m trying to limit positive/ negitive expectations to be more like your rationalle.

I've been through the exact same thing. At around 26 weeks I went into hospital with a small bleed (it was totally fine) and up until that point I had felt really relaxed about birth and becoming a mum. But something about being in the hospital really drove it home and I was an emotional wreck for a few days. I think it was the realisation that yes, I am actually having a baby, in real life. Sounds strange, but it was almost like the idea of having a baby and actually having a baby suddenly came together. My partner experienced the same thing.

It didn't take long for the worries to pass though. I found that starting to think about practical things, like organising our lift to the hospital, thinking about my hospital bag, starting to read my hypnobirthing book, etc. helped me to feel back in control. Good luck on the final stretch! :)

I had my baby eight weeks ago and I was very worried beforehand - I was scared of the pain and of being out of control. You know what? It was fine. It hurt, but I had pain relief and kept telling myself that it would be over soon. And then it was over, and I had my beautiful baby in my arms. I'd do it a hundred times over to have him.

I’m 34 weeks and feel exactly the same.

I find it helps to read lots of positive birth stories. Don’t let anyone scare you. Get the negative imagines of women on their backs screaming that you see in movies out of your head. Download some Hypnobirthing aps and see if it relaxes you. Get organised- get everything for your hospital bag you could possibly need. Birth ball etc. Planning helps rather that sitting around worrying. Have you done any antenatal classes yet?

Midwives are there to look after you- there are lots of pain relief options that you can take if you feel like it gets too much. From gas and air, water birth to epidural!

Most of all, just think of the beautiful little baby you will get at the end of it. :)

Do you have concerns about where you will be giving birth, is it very overstretched?

If not I really wouldn’t worry about the business aspect or the having to fight for pain relief aspect. In normal maternity settings they aren’t trying to stop you from having pain relief. In MLUs your actual options are limited and they may be reluctant to move you once in so bear this in mind when deciding where to go. (Assuming you have option of MLU and a traditional labour ward.)

With regard to knowing your midwife - it is unlikely you will unless you are in a caseloading system as they tend to have specific antenatal / delivery / postnatal roles at any given time so those you’ve seen in an antenatal clinic are unlikely to work on delivery at that time. Don’t worry about this - they are trained and used to establishing rapport with labour women quickly. If you clash with someone you are entitled to ask for an alternative care giver.

I think everyone feels that way, I certainly did. I've had 2 babies now and think about my labours and days after all the time because they were wonderful.
I'm sure you'll be fine :)

Thank you @jusdepamplemousse I agree!
I've found watching OBEM really helpful, I think it is literally just the fear of the unknown now its getting closer.
I've never had to stay in hospital before other than a couple of A&E trips so its all new territory to me!

Thanks everyone. I don't know what it was about being in hospital that suddenly made me switch from totally chilled to a bit anxious.
I guess it only natural to be nervous of childbirth, I think so far because I've not really enjoyed my pregnancy I've longed for the day to hurry up and arrive lol!

And il be taking whatever drugs are on offer!!