Ttc, chronic pain, metal health. Anyone in the same boat?

[theonewithcronicpain]

Hi guys.
I don’t know where to start. I’m worried to be judged.

I’m 25, I have a chronic pain in my back, caused by disc herniation in my neck C3-C4, and in my lower back L4-L5. I deal with it every day, and have done so in 3 years now. I quit all my pain medication over a year ago, because I wouldn’t have a baby with all that medicin. We both want a baby, and I’m scared to tell my doctors. I’m afraid I’m not getting pregnant, and it’s another thing that’s wrong with me. Am afraid they think I’m selfish for wanting a baby, when I can’t even work. I have wanted a family for so long, and are accepting I may not have the same capability as other moms, but I know I’m gonna be a good mom. I really wanna be a mom, and he really wonna be a dad. But is it wrong of me wanting that, when I have dept, and can’t work? After 3 years, I’m now able to have a daily routine. I may not work, but I’m working on that, and I haven’t accepted that faith.

This is only a brief insight, please give me your thoughts on everything.

English is not my first language, bare with me if there’s mistakes, and please ask questions if it isn’t understandable.

Thank you for reading

Is the back issue something you can fix with surgery? I would personally look into fixing your back issues before getting pregnant. You could risk being bed bound. Also, with a new born, and a toddler and even young child there will be a lot of stress on your back from lifting and carrying.

How long have you been TTC?

We decided to try for a baby after many years of being unable to work due to chronic pain and fatigue - we figured that we could afford it and manage between us. Then I got pregnant and it was twins. My health has deteriorated since they were born and it is extremely difficult some days - I only manage because my husband works from home and can jump in when I physically can’t carry on any more. Is there any hope of treatment for your back?

Thanks for your answer mouselove!
They said 2 years ago I couldn’t be fixed, that I needed to learn to live with it. They won’t give me a surgery, they say the chance of it giving me more problems is too big, especially because it’s both neck, and lower back.
For at least 1,5 year. I would say trying even harder last 6 months after reading tips from in here. Also one of the reasons I’m afraid I’m just not cable. But even before it happened with my back, when I was 21, and I was both working and studying, and I wanted a family. So it’s not something that just came up..

I think it's worth discussing with your GP. They may be able to support you more and potentially provide a few investigations and tests for your fertility. It has taken us 19 cycles. I am 12 weeks pregnant. I wish you well but please get the support you want from medical professionals. If they advise against a pregnancy or suggest you can not carry a pregnancy then you can at least look at all your options. Xx