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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Here's one for the inappropriate comments box! lol

18 replies

Baby2018 · 19/05/2018 21:27

Ive seen threads about things people say to pregnant people that they really shouldn't, Im not upset by this more I was a bit annoyed that someone would think it was an acceptable comment but for your amusement and to reassure other pregnant ladies people say stupid things all the time! here we go :

I had my nails done earlier as a little pampery treat to myself. The lady doing my nails was new Id not met her before. We made small talk and then she asked me if I had holiday planned, I said no because Im due a baby in September so saving money / wont be able to fly.

Her response was : " ooooohhhh you're pregnant I just thought you were puffs out cheeks like a hamster and opens her arms to gesture how large I am

Im 22 weeks, Im only half way through .... I just awkwardly confirmed yes Im pregnant

she then said " pregnant instead of fat haha " .... she clearly found it v amusing.

I was flabbergasted that she thought all of this was funny / ok

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RosieCotton · 19/05/2018 21:46

Omg! How rude. That is shocking especially from a professional. Id of been so upset!! (I did cry today because I couldn't get a sock on but still!) I would of thought common decency would of kicked in. Im sorry for your experience hun xx

BabyBed · 19/05/2018 22:00

Was English maybe not her first language? I've worked a lot with people from different cultures and in some places it's not rude to state the obvious which sometimes sounds a bit harsh in simplified language. My favourite was "when you first arrived you were fat, but you're not now" high praise indeed!

Original poster

Baby2018 · 19/05/2018 22:06

@RosieCotton I was just so shocked that she'd do that, the gesture of puffy cheeks and wide load arms! I didnt cry thankfully, the last time I cried was because my DH didn't like my bathroom cabinet selection lol hormones!

@Babybed at least that was kind of a compliment for you! I think she was half Bulgarian, still though even if it's not youre first language you must know youre saying " I thought you were just fat" ?

she also followed it up with " do you know what you're having"

I said " no I don't its a surprise"

and she said " I think you'll have a girl you don't look like you'd be the type to have a boy"

whatever the heck that means!

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Thistles24 · 19/05/2018 22:48

I'm currently pregnant with DS3, and lost count of the amount of times people have answered "what a shame" when they've asked what I'm having! As if 3 healthy boys is the worst thing that could happen to a person..... If I dare fib and say I don't know, I get told I'm having a girl as I'm "carrying large around the middle". I'm a size 18/20 so have unfortunately been carrying large around the middle for the past 7 years, I HIGHLY doubt the sex of the baby was going to change that! This is people I see everyday at work, so they must have very short(or flattering) memories of what I looked like pre Xmas!

Stellarbella · 19/05/2018 22:56

Someone said to me the other day ‘well, that’s your career on hold then’ when I told them about my pregnancy. I was People just say the first load of nonsense that comes into their heads

aaaarti · 20/05/2018 08:52

Oh wow! People really need to mind their own business!
I will have my 1 year wedding anniversary next month and got told 'oh that was quick, didn't you want to enjoy married life first?'
To them it was probably an innocent question but I found that rude and unnecessary!

Original poster

Baby2018 · 20/05/2018 09:46

People definitely say this stuff all the time, Im pretty sure no pregnant woman wants to hear "you're looking massive" someone should just make that clear as a rule of thumb lol

I had the opposite @aaaarti we were told we couldn't have children, we didn't broadcast it ( and lucky us we are expecting our first little miracle baby) but the people who didn't know were always saying " you've been married a long time now wheres the baby"

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aaaarti · 20/05/2018 09:54

@Baby2018 that's such a horrible thing to hear again and again. Some people just don't think before they speak!

Congratulations to you! You defo have a maricale bundle of joy on the way!

Original poster

Baby2018 · 20/05/2018 10:02

Thanks @aaaarti we are very excited, Sept can't come around quick enough!

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SparklingNarwhal · 20/05/2018 10:20

You don't look the type to have a boy?! What does that even mean?! She is aware that the sex is determined by the father right? Some people have an odd viewpoint on reality

Original poster

Baby2018 · 20/05/2018 13:56

haha I have no idea @SparklingNarwhal ( love that user handle btw) but she looked me up and down as she said it so Im not sure it was a good thing? The whole experience was more awkward than relaxing I wont be going back to her!

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Thewhale2903 · 20/05/2018 14:00

Im affraid some cultures are just more unt than others, we are quite a polite sensitive nation. Don't take offense.

GummyGoddess · 20/05/2018 14:18

I used to try not to upset people during my first pregnancy and go along with them. This pregnancy I straight out tell them that they're not the first person to say I'm fat/ate all the pies/need to lay off the donuts and they're unoriginal and unfunny. Strangely enough they stopped commenting.

Original poster

Baby2018 · 20/05/2018 20:55

@Thewhale2903 totally get that and I wasn't offended as such more shocked. To be honest I find it hard to get my head around that being ok in any culture. Implying you thought someone was fat? Im not generalising all Bulgarians ( she was half Bulgarian Half English)

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Thewhale2903 · 20/05/2018 22:28

She was probably just rude. You should have said something to her.

MouseLove · 20/05/2018 22:41

I am 12 weeks and hopefully will be telling people our good news soon (please let the scan be ok 😬) and I am absolutely dreading people saying "are you sure there's only one in there" 🤔 I am arming myself with witty come backs... if anyone has any for this or "do you know what you're having?" (We will not find out) Please let me know. 😂

Original poster

Baby2018 · 20/05/2018 22:45

@MouseLove Ive had that one before too, in fact its surprisingly common from the number of people on this forum who have had that comment. Didnt have a witty comeback though sorry I think I just said without laughing " yes just one"

Hope the scan goes well :)

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caoraich · 20/05/2018 22:54

Oh she was so rude! I wouldn't be going back to her.

So far I've had "was it planned"? From a few people. For reference I'm 30, have been with my partner for 10 years and we recently bought a house. After being shocked at first I now ask them "Are you asking if we forgot how to use condoms...?"

I'm nearly 20weeks and do have a bump but it's not super obvious. I have been very alarmed at the people who think it's ok to manhandle me already. Sometimes I'm quick enough to take a sharp step backwards but not always

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