Never going to be pregnant again...

[PistFump]

This is going to sound like a very self-absorbed thread, and I apologise for that, because I truly am extremely grateful for what I have. I have just (only nearly 3 weeks ago) given birth to my second ds, he is absolutely beautiful and we are all besotted with him, but today on the school run there was a very pregnant lady in the playground - she was absolutely glowing and I felt a twinge of sadness that I will never be pregnant again or have another baby (already!!) I have had 2 planned c-sections for a host of reasons, and it was noted this time that my womb had stretched dangerously thin and my midwife advised it wouldn't be safe for me to have any further pregnancies and risk my scar rupturing. I'm 35 so getting on in years baby wise anyway, and my pregnancies were both grim (SPD and HG throughout both) and we aren't really planning on having any more babies, but I do feel a slight pang that the choice has somewhat been taken away. It just feels like a part of my life is over before I was ready if that makes sense. Any advice on getting a grip? As I said, I'm very conscious that I have more than many women could even hope for in having 2 beautiful healthy children, I realise I'm very lucky.

I posted a very distressed post recently and one poster gave good advice about being able to be happy with what you have but allowed to be ungrateful and upset about the shit you've gone through on the journey. It helped me not feeling like I'm just a bitch

It's ok to be sad about the end of a phase of life, just like any other phase - it isn't ungrateful any more than someone feeling sad at school or university ending is disrespectful to those who haven't had the same opportunity.

If it helps, many of my friends had the same feelings soon after birth but by the time their DC were all 2-3+ and they were getting some freedom, they definitely didn't want to do it all again!

I understand what you mean. I think all mothers have a phase of "grieving" slightly when they know they have had their last baby. Even if you found it difficult, it is still an intensely exciting and special time.

But I think most women get past those feelings after a bit of time, and it is not surprising you feel as you do when your baby is only 3 weeks old. Lots of maternal hormones still racing around!

I'm sure these feelings of sadness will ease with time.

You don’t sound self absorbed at all. You’ve just given birth and been told for medical reasons you shouldn’t have more children. Even if you hadn’t planned to, it’s still hard to lose your power to choose.
I’m sure others will be along to offer wiser insights and deeper understanding than I have, but I wanted to say what you've said makes sense and it will take time to come to terms with your new reality.

I feel this way too. Dd2 is 13 months and I’m sad that I won’t be pregnant again unless our circumstances change dramatically. I loved being pregnant and feel sad that part of my life’s over.

DC4 is 15 months, and we absolutely can not have any more, most days now I’m ok with that but today I chatted with another mom at nursery. she’s weeks away from having her baby and it really got to me, by tomorrow I will be fine but it still gets me every so often. We didn’t intend to have more than 3 and the 4th surprised us, before her I was absolutely fine not having another!

I have two MMC last year and the first one very nearly killed me. I already have three DC and had a host of incredibly unhelpful comments to do with being grateful for the children I already had and someone was unable to understand why I was so sad when I already had three children.

Just because you have children already, it doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel loss or hurt that you won’t have another. You are entitled to feel that way.

Having said that, it is early days for you and your hormones will be raging. I recall crying during the baby blues over the fact I wouldn’t feel them inside me again and I missed their hiccups .

Op you are extremely grateful to have the children you have. You are also fully entitled to feel upset that you feel your choice to have more has been taken away from you. Anyone would feel sad at that. It doesnt matter if you have 2 kids or 22 kids its natural to feel a bit sad at first. Eventually when little ds grows a bit you will start to feel different. Congratulations on the new arrival.

I feel the same OP. Two wonderful DC - one under 1. Wish that I didn't want DC3 but I do. Sadly it's not practical. I'm banking on what PP said ie that the feeling goes away when you get a bit of independence back

Thank you all for your responses it's helpful to know how I'm feeling is valid as I've been feeling really guilty about it.