Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Will baby father going on certificate affect benefits?

24 replies

Waterfountain97 · 15/05/2018 13:50

Okay so no judgement please this was not the way any of this was meant to go and benefits was not meant to be my only option but certain situations happened and yes that's how it is now..so I'm 31 weeks and currently on income support and I understand once my baby is born I can claim child benefit ect as I'm not with the father and I live with my mum after the father decided to drop me at 12 weeks for his ex girlfriend but when it comes to registering her birth even though he has been an arse hole to me and not really been there throughout pregnancy I want him on the certificate as I don't want to be the bad guy? So basically will him going on it as her father affect my benefits for her? As I am single and not with him ? Please no comments about why would you want him on there ( he is going on it as he is her father and I don't want to be the reason he's not on it) Thanyou for reading

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Coconutty89 · 15/05/2018 13:51

no it won't affect it at all. he's still the child's dad and should be on the BC.
It won't affect any benefits being claimed

Original poster

Waterfountain97 · 15/05/2018 13:56

@Coconutty89
Thankyou , yes I agree just because me and him haven't worked out and he's hurt me I won't allow that to be the reason he's not on there I'm not bitter he is still her father regardless he may be shit and not see her ect but atleast I can say I done the right thing at the time

OP posts:

Lightsong · 15/05/2018 13:58

He will need to go with you to register the birth, they wont let you put his name on the birth certificate if you are not married unless he is there with you.

Original poster

Waterfountain97 · 15/05/2018 14:02

@Lightsong
Okay that's fine thankyou, can the baby be registered within the first week? As he said he is going to take a week off of work when she said born as he wants to spend time with her but because he's self employed or whatever he can't then take another day off so it will have to be done within that week?

OP posts:

CoupleOfPushBacks · 15/05/2018 14:04

If you and baby's father are amicable then it's best to put him on. My DS's birth certificate is blank where his father should be (he didn't want to know).

So always put him on if you can. Although this does give him automatic PR.

CoupleOfPushBacks · 15/05/2018 14:05

You can only register your baby when you can get an appointment. My DS was 3 weeks before he was registered due to it being the next available appointment.

Lightsong · 15/05/2018 14:06

I think the first week will be fine, I'm sure I was told that it had to be within 42 days of the birth.

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 15/05/2018 14:11

It doesn't affect benefits but it does mean that your ex will have parental responsibility so you need to decide if this is something that you are happy with. Parental responsibility means that he would have the right to make decisions about medical treatment, choice of schools, religious affiliation and whether you can take the child out of the country. If you think that this wouldn't cause problems, then discuss it with him and take it from there. There's a guide here:

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/parental-responsibility/

BlueBug45 · 15/05/2018 14:12

@Waterfountain97 rules of registering are here - www.gov.uk/register-birth/who-can-register-a-birth

Unmarried parents

The details of both parents can be included on the birth certificate if one of the following happens:

they sign the birth register together
one parent completes a statutory declaration of parentage form and the other takes the signed form to register the birth
one parent goes to register the birth with a document from the court (eg a court order) giving the father parental responsibility

So he doesn't have to come with you if he completes a form and gives you the correct ID documentation

Original poster

Waterfountain97 · 15/05/2018 14:13

Okay thankyou everyone , what do I need documents wise to take to register the baby? and where does this normally happen? I live on Kent , dartford so not sure where my local place of registering is

OP posts:

Heregoeseverything · 15/05/2018 14:55

Didn't you post about your partner not wanting sex when you were 6 months gone and now you say he left at 12 weeks...?

higgyyellow · 15/05/2018 14:57

You can't make decisions about something so serious as your child's parentage based on whether you can claim benefits or not!

You put her father on the birth certificate because he is her father.

Roomba · 15/05/2018 14:58

If using the statutory declaration of parentage route (instead of attending in person) the father has to sign the form in front of a notary, solicitor, magistrate, JP or similar. So there may well be a wait for an appointment with one of them, which may be far more hassle than just going to the register office.

Aren't register offices open on Saturdays sometimes? They hold weddings there on Saturdays at least, may be worth asking if an appointment is available then? DS2 was 43 days old when he was registered (legal limit is 42 days) due to lack of appointments! I wasn't fined as it wasn't my fault.

Pros to him being on the birth cert: well he is the father so should be held legally responsible for the child, it also means public records are correct, he can agree to things like medical treatment, schools etc, if anything happened to you he'd be able to live with/see his child without legal action, you can ensure he is paying financial support for his child (and child maintenance payments will not affect any benefits you get!)

Cons - Well, similar to the pros so depends what sort of parent he will be. He will be able, if he wishes, to challenge your choice of schools, medical treatment, whether you can move home (if out of the area), if you can take the child on holiday out of the UK for over 28 days, pretty much anything you decide for your child (doesn't mean he'd win in court, but stressful nonetheless).

If you're happy that he won't be obstructive in a way that will actually damage your child physically/emotionally, I see no reason not to put him on the certificate. It is extreme to leave him off, though some do this for very good reason. If it's just the benefit thing, don't worry, it won't affect things at all if you're not living with him now.

Roomba · 15/05/2018 14:59

You'll be given a load of info at the hospital when you give birth about how to register. That will tell you all you need to know and what ID you need.

Roomba · 15/05/2018 15:08

I've seen lots of threads in MN where women are told 'just don't put him on the birth certificate'. It doesn't really work like that. It probably sounds awful but if you don't want someone to be the father of your child, the only solution is not to have their child. Once pregnant, serious problems have to be dealt with through either negotiation
with the other parent, or the family courts in other ways. There's a process for that that has to be followed, you can't sidestep it (sadly, in some cases).

Original poster

Waterfountain97 · 15/05/2018 15:17

@Heregoeseverything
That's a separate issue and if I must go into it we briefly tried to make it work again because he managed to sweet talk me round with his bullshit making me think he actually wanted me and that he left his partner for me and the baby but turns out he wasent being honest and left again once I said I didn't feel comfortable having sex this far into pregnancy but thankyou for bringing up something completely irrelevant to this thread

OP posts:

Original poster

Waterfountain97 · 15/05/2018 15:20

@Roomba
I have no issue putting him on the birth certificate that's what I want and that's what's happening I just wanted to know if to expect changes in benefits having him in there that's all

@higgyyellow
Of course I understand that and it wasent a case of him not going on there I would do that i just wanted to get an understanding of what will change if anything was to that's all , as I stated at the end he will be going on it

OP posts:

AKP79 · 15/05/2018 15:24

My partner left me when my son was 3 months old. He was on the birth certificate.

I had to go on benefits for 6 months before I managed to find work again (I'd been made redundant during my maternity leave). Having the father on the birth certificate wont impact on what you receive as the mother in terms of child benefit. Neither will receiving child benefit impact on what he is responsible for contributing by way of child maintenance. Have you discussed and arranged this with him?

BlueBug45 · 15/05/2018 15:31

@Roomba It's probably because posters forget about the Children's Act.

Original poster

Waterfountain97 · 15/05/2018 15:32

@AKP79
Thankyou and I know it's all a mess he left at 12 week came back for a couple weeks at around 6 months sweet talked me into thinking he was back then left again it's so horrible when your carrying someone's child that you love I tend to just fall for anything they say like a complete fool! but no we haven't discussed that I'm not sure how much to ask for? he lives with his parents and doesn't have many bills apart from just the norm

OP posts:

Original poster

Waterfountain97 · 15/05/2018 15:33

@BlueBug45
I never once said he won't be going on there if t affects benefits I just wanted to get an idea of what would be affected if anything was to be that is all I have stated he will be going on it regardless as to me that is very important

OP posts:

AKP79 · 15/05/2018 15:37

Hormone's can do horrible things so don't beat yourself up. Plus as a mother you will be wanting to hold your family together. Pregnancy is tough without all of this going on.

Do you know how much he earns? If so, use this calculator to work out what is a reasonable contribution: www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance. Alternatively, you can send it to him so that he can see for himself how much he needs to contribute.

whocares1984 · 01/03/2025 08:37

this is silly it gives to stories on what this thread was suppose to be about and what it is actually about shame on you

LookingAtMyBhunas · 01/03/2025 16:28

whocares1984 · 01/03/2025 08:37

this is silly it gives to stories on what this thread was suppose to be about and what it is actually about shame on you

The kid will be 7 years old now so hopefully this has been sorted 😂

Flip