Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Should your man be less harsh while pregnant

21 replies

toxitears181 · 14/05/2018 21:42

Hey girls so I'm 30 weeks pregnant and my hormones are all over the place at the moment and been wanting to clean the house tip to bottom ready for baby (bit obsessive I know) so yesterday I said to my OH when you have a bath can you please fold the towels so that they dry as he just shoves them either on the floor or on the towel rail messy and they start to smell and he's like well I don't see you doing that. And I was like yes I do I hang them on the radiator and he raised his voice and was like no you don't. And ended up arguing over a towel and I started crying and he was like your just being pathetic and over reacting I didn't raise my voice your just crying about nothing lately. And then I was like well can't you just be a bit more sensitive with me knowing my hormones are all over the place? And he's like continuing to argue with me and making me cry and I said stop being a dick and he's like your the biggest dick I know.... is it just me ? Am I overreacting or is he being a prick ? Would love to know others opinions

OP posts:
chukkanukka · 14/05/2018 21:45

His being a prick! He could have just folded the damn towel and made you happy!

Whattheactualfuckmate · 14/05/2018 21:47

Yeah he is a dick!!

Whattheactualfuckmate · 14/05/2018 21:48

Maybe he is not mature enough to show you some fucking empathy

PerspicaciaTick · 14/05/2018 21:49

So he prepared to defend his right to leave soggy, unfolded towels on the floor even if it meant making his beloved cry?

Why?

Is he always like this? You ask if he should be being "less harsh" while you are pregnant...TBH I think the pregnancy is a red herring, he never behave this way.

Lilymossflower · 14/05/2018 21:53

Omg he sounds like a literally absolutely horrible person! He should have some empathy and gratitude to the woman carrying his child! In fact, even if you weren't this would be an absolutely horrible way to treat anyone !,, xx

Wolfiefan · 14/05/2018 21:54

Why are you in a relationship with someone who is "harsh"? Do you often argue like this?

Original poster
toxitears181 · 14/05/2018 21:56

Every time I say your making me upset and in turn your making the baby upset can you just be more sensitive and he's like now your using the child to make me feel down? Like what the fuck. And I know I over react sometimes but I'm 30 weeks pregnant I would of thought he would understand....

OP posts:
GetOffTheTableMabel · 14/05/2018 21:57

Your partner should never have to ‘be less harsh’. It doesn’t matter when you are pregnant or not, adults who love each other and respect each other don’t treat each other like that.
He sounds immature and generally unpleasant.

Wolfiefan · 14/05/2018 21:58

Does he upset you often? Really this isn't about whether you're pregnant. It's about whether the relationship itself is healthy.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 14/05/2018 21:59

Didn’t you have another thread about him watching porn whilst you were pregnant too?

Original poster
toxitears181 · 14/05/2018 22:05

Yeah @ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo I always say to him can we have sex more often as I feel like we don't do it all that often and when we do it I feel tight and it's uncomfortable due to not doing it for a while. I feel he's not into me as he's not wanting sex that often and yet I know he watches porn when I'm not home so yeah kinda feeling shitty at the moment.

OP posts:
FranticallyPeaceful · 14/05/2018 23:16

Another Grand wizard in Cuntery.

Wouldn’t take that kind of shit when not pregnant, never mind pregnant. He should have folded the fricking towel and moved on with his day

Stephisaur · 15/05/2018 08:20

@toxitears181 I commented on your other post, but I've just twigged that you're the same user. He absolutely should not be getting his rocks off alone while you're basically begging him for sex!

Some guys don't find pregnancy that attractive, but you have needs too and he shouldn't be so selfish.

I'm really sorry he's being such a dickhead :( no advice, just Flowers and Cake from me

AltheaorDonna · 15/05/2018 08:31

He sounds horrible. You shouldn't have to take this shit from anyone, certainly not from your partner when pregnant.

SoyDora · 15/05/2018 08:32

Mine is never ‘harsh’, so he doesn’t need to be ‘less harsh’ during pregnancy.

TheBogWitchIsBack · 15/05/2018 08:40

Seriously why are you putting up with this?
He sounds like a grade A dick.
What's he going to be like when you ask him to get up in the night with a baby or change a nappy when he can't even hang a fucking towel without protest!
Fuck that. Rather be single.

0ccamsRazor · 15/05/2018 08:46

He is who he is.

You can not change him.

You have a choice, either accept him for the cunt he is or leave.

The question you need to ask yourself is, do you want to spend your life with this person?

LisaSimpsonsbff · 15/05/2018 08:50

I'm 31 weeks pregnant and my partner wouldn't speak to me like that. However, nor would he have done before I was pregnant, and I don't think it would have been any more ok then. This relationship really doesn't sound ok, and if being pregnant helps you to see that and to act on it then that's all to the good, but you don't deserve to be treated like this ever, not just while pregnant.

TheBogWitchIsBack · 15/05/2018 08:56

It's worth noting that a lot of abuse starts when a woman is pregnant.
If you feel things are starting to get difficult speak to your midwife.
He shouldn't be making you cry, yes pregnancy is hard and emotions are all over the place but it can also be lovely, exciting and bring a couple closer.
If the shit times are outweighing the good I think it's time to reassess the relationship.

Spudlet · 15/05/2018 09:00

Think hard about whether you want this man around when you bring that baby home. You're going to be exhausted, emotional and physically feeling a bit battered. You're perhaps going to be trying to start breastfeeding, which can be difficult and stressful at the start, and learning about your baby and how to care for them. If you and your partner aren't a team, that can make it even more difficult than it needs to be.

Do you have any other family who could offer you support?

Hideandgo · 15/05/2018 09:04

He shouldn’t be harsh, pregnant or not.

And you shouldn’t be saying that you being upset means baby is upset. That’s simply not true and very unfair.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread