Unhelpful boyfriend

[mother2b]

I know my boyfriend loves me and me being pregnant came as a shock to us both (wasnt planned) but he really isnt helping me, he complains that 'all i do now is feel sick and talk about baby' and gets really stressed out when i talk about things i can do (such as eat certain foods) i had started when i found out i was pregnant to tell him everything i was feeling and try to make him feel included but he just seems to shut himself off

He's bricking it - and every time you mention baby stuff it reminds him he's going to be a daddy.
Don't apologise, but try NOT talking to him about it either. He'll probably start whinging that you're not keeping him clued up.

(Men, in general, are such @rses!)

the trouble is i do feel sick all the time and when it gets particularly bad i do mention it, he keeps starting arguements also! i dont want to argue, does he not realise how much he is stressing me out, i worry it will affect our baby

Hi mother2b
He is trying to get his head round the idea, and while generally women do that by talking about the pregnancy, men who are still reeling from the shock think that by not talking about it, it will make it, somehow, not quite true yet! (my DH was the same).
Give him some time, as long as you know he loves you and deep down this is a positive pregnancy, then he will get more excited about it.
Leave a pregnancy book around (but don't ask him to read it) he may pick it up in his own time and start to get interested.
Good luck and congratulations x

dp was the exact same but trusyt me he's a fantastic father and has been in love with dd since the moment he laid eyes on her and would do anything for her.

he was just as bad with preg no.2 and just mas good a dad to ds when he came along.

men find empathy difficult, they want to be able to fix the problem and if they can't they don't want to know about it!

hmm, have already piled books everywhere AND told him that he needs to read them to understand the pregnancy

don't, it makes them stubborn and resistant

i used to rant at dp that he needed to learn what to expect but had very little success.

he was fabulkous during the birth though and is hugely supportive of bf-ing. he's still a bit clueless about alot of baby stuff but he tries bless him and he does a great line in annoying baby games that i have no patience for

I do feel for you m2b . I found it hard because I felt DH was getting annoyed with me after a while for mentioning pregnancy symptoms, so I stopped saying anything unless I felt it was really serious.
I do agree with PT that it is their inability to solve the problem that leads to the apparent lack of interest. I had an early labour scare at 29weeks and although DH was supportive, it was his fear and stress about the situation that I remember being the overriding emotion, rather than sympathy for me.
I just feel some men can't get as excited or sympathetic as we'd like them to be - try not to take it to heart.
I would make sure there is nothing more to it though, especially if he is deliberately starting arguements. Offer him a chance to just talk about how he feels. Don't talk about you or how you are feeling. See if he will open up a bit maybe?