Breach of confidentiality - what to do? HELP

[LJFM2B]

I am 7 weeks pregnant ... i have had 3 miscarriages previously all that my work are aware of.

On Thursday i had some light bleeding which with my history really worried me, i went to the DR and am having a scan in a couple of days to see whats going on... (haven't had any bleeding or cramps since Thursday BTW and was only light so fingers tightly crossed just spotting) BUT of course i called my Manager Thursday and felt obliged to tell him i was pregnant and what was going on. He seemed very supportive on the phone and promised not to share anything with anyone and just asked me to keep him in the loop.

I had Friday off and just rested the whole weekend and luckily feel all pregnancy symptoms still and had not more bleeding. I called my Manager this morning and explained all seems OK but keeping scan for Wednesday just in case and highlighted again how i really didn't want anybody to know due to my history and the uneasy circumstances. He agreed and said secret safe with me.

(i have a small team of 6 all very different people and although i dont dislike anybody i also am not close with any of them) This morning people were avoiding eye contact with me and one said "do you think you should be here so soon" and one said "it will happen for you one day" so i of course questioned what they were talking about and they told me that as soon as i got off the phone to my manager on Thursday he told the whole office including one person from head office who i barely know that i was miscarrying again.

I am livid, its a huge breach in confidentiality, he obviously sees it as gossip and to top it off he didnt even explain anything properly?!

Im so Angry but i dont want HR knowing yet i dont know what to do!!!

How did it go?

Hiya,

Thanks for all your supportive posts ladies.

I spoke to him today and he denied telling the person who was hot desking here and isn't even apart of my team, and claimed he was only telling the others for the benefit of me and 'the team' ... i said i didnt believe him and all trust had been lost and now feel 'venerable' in a position where i already feel nervous about - which is true. I have told my HR to make a note of this incident and also just mentioned previous comments that had been made about me being pregnant and said Im covering myself for future incidents and possible discrimination.

I have my Viability scan this afternoon and my poor mum was taken by ambulance yesterday (she is 57 and has terminal cancer and was in alot of pain) ... so my nerves are shot to bits today but i am PRAYING to who ever is out there for this scan to be ok!!!!

Thanks again for your help

So sorry to hear about all of this!

I hope your scan goes well, I hope your mum is alright and I hope that POS manager gets bollocked xx

Oh bless you OP.

I think you've handled it very well. I hope your scan goes well

Oh crikes LJFM - life is chucking barrels at you at the moment.

I hope your mother is ok
And hope the scan goes well for you.
Take care.

UPDATE

Hi all so i spoke with him yesterday and he denied denied denied telling the person who doesnt work here (i do not believe him and told him this) ... he said he told the people he told because it could of effected the "day to day" running of the office and that they needed to know incase i was off for a while .... OH MY GOD SO ANGRY they might need to know i wouldnt have been in for the day but they did not need to know the reasons AT ALL...

The fact is his a gossip and he totally done the wrong thing as a manager.

I told him i am going to HR to document the incident as i feel like along with things my previous managers have said (stated in earlier post) that i have a high chance of being discriminated for any kind of pregnancy successful or not. He looked scared and said he hopes we can put this behind us and move forward and if i need any time off i can take it.

I am contacting HR today.

Also i know this isnt a pregnancy thread but I had an early scan yesterday and saw a jelly bean looking baby and heard the most amazing little heart beat! it was so emotional!

So hopefully this is our turn, and we get to meet this baby ... i will be saying god bye to this job forever and finally being a mum!! The only job i have ever truly wanted.

Thanks for all your help

Oh how relieved you must feel after seeing little jelly bean, op - I'm over the moon for you.

@LJFM2B He's a CF.

He looked scared and said he hopes we can put this behind us and move forward and if i need any time off i can take it.

Make sure you do report it to HR. Normally people like this do it more than once. If there is anyone else on your team who is likely to become pregnant inform them - after you are officially happy to tell people you are pregnant of course - that it is on his records.

He's also not probably aware that if a discrimination claim arose you could sue him as well as your employer in an employment tribunal, and your employer doesn't have to cover his part of your claim which means he's personally liable.

Good luck in your pregnancy and if you need to work I hope you find a job that is more enjoyable.

I hope your pregnancy continues to flourish and you get your baby. The job and manager sound like a nightmare. Contact ACAS please for their advice on next steps. Xxx

Thanks all

@MouseLove i will contact ACAS - i have heard about these before. Also will ask about the Stat maternity pay if i was to tell work i wasn't coming back before i went off or if i should wait until i am actually in my maternity to tell them im not coming back?xx

I would juice them for the full 9 months before you tell them you're not coming back. 😇

Congratulations :) I'm so happy the scan went well! Fx that in a few months, you'll have all you've ever wanted!