12wks pregnant & my 2.5yr old is driving me up the walls

[Mum8515]

Really wasn't wise getting pregnant right now, but it's done now & I'm totally against abortions!

Pregnancy so far is going fine. Problem is my 2.5yr old who's driving both me & dh up the wall! Also going through potty training which is another headache but has to be done.

He's constantly answering back, not listening, spitting, shouting/screaming, tantrums, pushing other kids at school! I don't know what to do! He goes to nursery 3 days a week but the rest of the time he's home, some days I just break down as it becomes to much and dh is at work only at home on a Sunday with us & evenings from 6.

How do I deal with his behaviour? Xx

Not sure I can really help, mine is only just 2 but I know that if you as parents are stressed then your toddler is far more likely to act out. Don't argue with toddlers it's never productive, ignore the bad behavior as much as possible (even saying no to spitting can be taken as attention by the toddler, mine sometimes thinks it's a game) one warning then if she repeats the drink gets taken away. Try and focus on giving positive attention for any small good thing the toddler does. Sticker rewards for potty if not already? And I know not everyone approves of bribery but I find a strawberry goes a long way when I want to get her dressed, moving and out somewhere on time. I have a book called Toddler Taming (by Dr Christopher Green) I don't know how much it has really helped but it's written with a sense of humour and I find it entertaining and easy to read.

Have a look into the 'Incredible Years'. There's lots of short clips on YouTube too you could have a look at (admittedly the clips are very old but it really does work).

Ignore the behaviour but not the child, lots of praise and really focus on the good behaviour. Even if they've had the worst day and you've been hit at, spat on etc you still need to show that you love them and care for them and as soon as they do anything positive (even walking towards their shoes that you've spent 20 mins chasing them round trying to put on) Just go crazy with positivity.

Spend time every day sitting in the floor and letting your child lead the play, only has to be 10-20 mins at most if you're super busy but if hope we can all give our children more than that. Completely let them lead and have control for that time (no phone, no tv, just play). If they want to build a Lego house with two walls be super enthusiastic and really be interested in it.

There isn't a 'quick fix' for undesirable behaviour, it takes time, patience and understanding but once the hard work is done you'll reap the rewards. Good luck xx

Does he know there's another baby on the way? Might need some extra reassurance