Taking my ds to antenatal appointments?

[catattack123]

Hello,
I have two appointments coming up- one with the 'antenatal team' and another with the 'vbac midwives', problem is I have a 3 year old ds (will only have turned 3 the week before the appointments) who does not attend nursery, and who I won't have childcare for due to my partner, and parents working. I do have a mil who stays at home but she refuses to take me to appointments due to being 'busy' and has never had my ds alone.
He is very shy and won't run around, he will just quietly sit on my knee, so would it be okay to take him with me to these appointments? I'm a bit stressed about it, and have already had to re arrange them both once due to being on holiday!

I had to take mine (about the same age) to some appointments - I just didn't have anywhere else for him to be - he just sat quietly with my phone, I had drinks/snacks to buy me a bit more time if I needed it. It was fine.

I took my 2 year old DC to a number of my antenatal appointments. The only ones I was told not to take them to were scans (due to size of rooms) and my VBAC session, which was in the evening. No one commented on it when we were there, so I don't think it would be a problem as long as you haven't been specifically told you can't take your child

I've taken my 3 year old to multiple midwife appointments, my 20 week scan after child care fell through and to see the consultant.

He's not a shy child, won't sit still and can if not watched like a hawk cause chaos very quickly.

He was fine. The consultant spent 5 minutes showing him how babies are born with various models (both vaginally and c-section) which fascinated him. He now wants to be an obstetrician when he grows up and is massively disappointed that he can't be there when his sibling is born. There were plenty of others waiting for appointments with children of varying sizes for all three types of appointment and as the consultant said to me, they'd rather you turned up with a child in tow than couldn't make appointments or had to keep cancelling.

I've taken 16mo DD to most of mine, bar that scans and a trip to Triage. Usually you're in and out in 10 mins anyway.

I always took mine to any appointments - I thought everyone did? They usually have a toy or two around, which serves as a distraction.

I did once have a smear test with a toddler in attendance....that was probably going a bit far, but she was very good, just played happily with a bead frame.

Mine came, she loved it as she got to hear the baby's heartbeat. I'm a sahm so no choice really. I didn't take her to scans though, in case of bad news.

The midwife really won't mind. In my case, I had the same community midwife for both babies so she got to see how dd had grown.

Is there any friends who could have him?
I've sat in the ante natal clinic waiting room today, post scan, watching a very upset couple waiting to see consultant whilst a bored toddler made bored toddler noises and played around them.

It didn't look very nice to watch.

At our hospital, you can wait longer for the appointment than you spend with the consultant. I've had at least one 1.5 hour wait for a clinic that was running behind.

Like Zaalitje, I've sat in the waiting room watching a mother who'd been given bad news sob and it was horrible to watch. My concern would be if anything is wrong - can't find heartbeat etc. and you need to be admitted, or to go elsewhere for checks, you'd be panicking yourself and stuck with a toddler you need to arrange care for. Do you know any other parents from toddler groups who could have him, just in case?

@zaalitje unfortunately not, I only have one friend who I only see once every few months. That's what I was worried about but unfortunately it seems like I have no other choice! Usually I make my appointments for later afternoon when my dm has finished work so she can have him, but it wasn't possible for these two appointments as they had limited appointments left for when they want to see me (before I get to far along in my pregnancy)

Thank you for all the replies, putting my mind at ease :)

I had to take my two year old to my 12 week scan because she had been admitted to hospital (children's hospital is next door to maternity hospital), it was fine, they're ok about children coming to scans here, i know in some trusts they don't like it.

I took her to my 16 week appointment and she was good as gold and they didn't mind at all. I'll take her to any and all other appointments where i don't have childcare. Have organised childcare for my 20 week scan tho, would prefer not to have to worry about her then.

I'm sure it'll be absolutely fine.

I think general appointments and vbac appointments are fine but echo avoid scans if you can.

4 year old has been to all mine, including 20wk scan and most recently for a sweep. Not ideal but needs must.

Just take lots of snacks/water and their favourite toy/colouring book electronic device