AIBU - Slight Bleed

[PineapplePrincess]

Currently 10+2 and have experienced a slight bleed. Only when wiping, and even then only when raising the tissue into the vagina (sorry tmi). Bleed is mostly brown with slight red streaks.

I have previously suffered three miscarriages last year. One at 10wks eerily similar to this (altho’ light pick to start), and two at 6wks. Have one DS, no bleeding at all during that pregnancy.

EPU saw me at 7wks to confirm a viable pregnancy, but won’t see me again at the moment. Next NHS scan is three weeks away.

After finding I was bleeding, I was upset so headed home from work. Called DH and told him, he seemed disappointed on the phone and told me ‘there’s nothing you can do’ and to ‘go home and rest’ which I was okay with; seemed sensible advice.

Since he got home though, he hasn’t asked how I am or any queries re the bleed. Hasn’t mentioned it or consoled me in any way.

I mentioned to him I had arranged a private scan for tomorrow morning, as I can’t face waiting another three weeks to find out if I’ve miscarried or if baby is okay. He agreed to come along, but again no reassurance or anything.

I could really do with a hug right now, some comforting words to keep me going till tomorrow. But I resent having to ask for them - AIBU?

I imagine he is also trying to deal with it himself. I know my DH avoided asking questions about bleeds in an attempt to not upset me, he knew if I wanted to speak to him I would (and did), so maybe just start the conversation or go in for that hug!

That seems like a weird reaction from him. But sometimes my husband dies similar. Sometimes he needs to be told what I need! Try talking to him and saying you are worried and need a hug. You are right to go for the private scan.

I agree with @Thetimehascometo. He's prob worried too.

It's so hard.

My husband has always been very hesitant to ask me about what is going on with bleeds, even though we sadly have lots of experience. He just doesn't want to pressurise me I think because there have been times when I've bled and needed a few hours before talking about it. Also it's quite intimate and unless you are used to talking a lot about stuff like periods and other personal bodily functions, it must be hard broaching the subject at the same time as being desperately worried and knowing that your wife/partner is feeling terribly upset and frightened.

I try to tell my husband what I need and reassure him that he can ask me questions if he needs to but that I will tell him if anything changes and might cry a lot, which is ok. During bad times we will both often confirm that yes it is a shitty time and we both feel shitty and upset - I think it helps to know that even though we are both getting on with stuff on the outside, we feel both the same way.

Also, it might be worth talking to him about things like booking private scans and decide together. He might have been surprised/felt guilty for not thinking of it himself/felt left out of the decision/suddenly realised just how worrying this situation is and gone quiet.

Ultimately it's your decision if you want to have a scan of your body, but discussing together can be a good way of talking about how you both feel and coming up with a joint plan of action.

How did you get on @PineapplePrincess

We lost the HB.