Partners Parents.

[Anonymous2704]

I am currently 29 weeks pregnant and my partners Mum seems extremely overwhelming when it comes to my baby. We found out we’re having a girl and since then, she’s been telling me what not to do with my baby and what to do with her. Up to the point where I get extremely frustrated because I’ve been told by her not to breastfeed and to use formula. I made it very clear I only want to breastfeed and she seemed to be mad at me. She’s told me to name her a certain name because she wants to “buy customised things” for her .. I told her not to order anything because we aren’t 100% on the name , and again.. she got angry! I feel like she thinks my baby is her baby and she’s very intrusive. My partner and I live under the same roof as her and I’m scared that when my baby comes, she will constantly try to come in our room to see her. We are saving up to move out but until that time we have to stick with staying with his mum. She is very intimidating and childish and wants everything her way. She even told me she was going to cut my baby’s cord at birth! And invited herself to it and I said to her that I wasn’t comfortable with her seeing my bits and once again, she got mad about it. I just feel like my baby will be suffocated by her and my partners Mum will always want to see/hold her. What can I do?
Thanks 🤓

Move out. Are you saving to buy a house? Suspend that for a bit longer and rent in peace and then you can control when you see her.

You need to move out. Do you have your own family you can stay with until you can live together?

Other than that, you need to remain firm and your DP needs to give her the harsh word.

If you don't want her at the birth then get her told and then tell the midwives that it's to be you and your partner only.

The only way to get through this is to stand your ground. She sounds demented and pandering to her isn't going to help anyone but I can appreciate it's hard when you live under the same roof.

I find a lot of women who say don't breastfeed are the ones who didn't themselves. Seems like guilt. I'm so glad I breastfed my boy, even though so many people have told me to stop (7 months). What does your partner say about all this??

OMG move out it will only get worse!!
rent rent rent. for your sanity

Get your own place.
You can't spend the next 11 weeks worried about what might be.
Better a simple rented home that is indeed a home for t the three of you.
Possibly somewhere not too convenient to dp's mum.

Ok, this isn’t right and certainly not healthy for you. You need to be very clear with your partners mother and you partner that this is your child but hers, that you have boundaries and that you won’t be putting up with her poor behaviour. Could I suggest that you try to move the date that you move out sooner rather than later.
I’m sorry but she wants to cut the cord? Wtf?!?? Whoses mother in law does that?!
Her getting mad is just st a tactic. If you show her that it doesn’t affect you and that you don’t reach to it then it will show her it doesn’t work. Just think about a tantrum that a toddler throws. The reason why they repeat them is because they work.
You baby not hers. I’m afraid you need to speak with your partner and tell him to deal with her. Good luck. I know how hard it is because I have had in the past a similar situation.

Sorry, so many typos but I hope you get what I mean. X

Please take the advice OP, move out before you have the baby, even if you have to rent a room somewhere...Personally I wouldn't even have her at the birth, I'd say I'd rather it just be me and my partner. Your partner should also back you up on this. She clearly doesn't know boundaries.