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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

24wks bullied at work

18 replies

whatamigoingtodo87 · 08/05/2018 08:48

Hi all,

I've been lurking on here or quite a while and need a little advice please.

I have been in my role for just over a year now and really enjoy my job and team. In that time, I have been diagnosed with M.E./CFS and am now 24wks pregnant. My direct line manager has made my life very unpleasant since my diagnosis last June and even more so since my announcement in March. To begin with, I thought she was just unpleasant, but things have progressed from comments to actions. I've had some shocking managers in the past and i normally ignore and just get on with it but she is something else!

To be honest, I could have done something about it a while ago, but in the interest of just wanting to get on and do my job I've left it. I had my appraisal recently which has kind of spurred this on.

I wouldn't normally ever do this and I've actually only ever had 1 day sick leave in nearly 16 years, but due to the situation with my manager getting worse, I'm actually considering asking my doctor to sign me off. I can't count the number of days I've gone home in floods of tears, i'm not sleeping sun-fri, i dread coming into work and when I am here feel on edge, I also often feel like i'm having palpitations. This has been ongoing since before pregnancy so i know it's not all hormones! Midwife and Doctors are aware of work situation.

I haven't given my maternity leave dates yet, (due next week) and i genuinely don't know when to start my leave. My question is, I'm due at the end of august, but if i go on maternity leave from the start of July, but say im signed off sick from mid-June until the end of august would my maternity leave still begin at the start of July or 4 weeks before the baby is due as per gov guidelines?

I hate feeling like this as don't want to let my team down or feel like i'm letting myself down.

OP posts:

Savingtheworldb4bedtime · 08/05/2018 09:37

Do you have the number for HR? I was on sick before my maternity leave, because of management (didn't like pregnant women a lot of us had the same treatment) The doctor warned me it might effect my maternity (I was only entitled to SMP) I rang HR and asked and I got sick pay till my maternity leave started, this was 4years ago. I imagine HR might be more helpful as they know the company so it might be worth a try. It's a horrible situation to be in, Ivr heard of other people saving holidays and using them straight before maternity leave if that's something you can do.. Good luck, the most important thing is looking after yourself and baby, it's a horrible situation to be in, I hope it works out well for you x

0310Star · 08/05/2018 09:43

Is there no way you can lodge a complaint about said manager? Before getting signed off I would see if you can resolve the work problem. They shouldn't be acting this way anyway in a managerial role, let alone when you're pregnant!

Original poster

whatamigoingtodo87 · 08/05/2018 10:21

@0310Star I am working on a complaint, but alot of it isn't evidenced as it is mainly verbal and when I am on my own with her. HR are aware of problems but little they can do without mediation which we tried and made things worse.

OP posts:

laurG · 08/05/2018 23:56

Difficult situation. First and foremost well done on raising a complaint about this woman. Bullying a colleague Is wrong at any time, but especially bad when pregnant.

However, if you do take sick pay up to four weeks before the birth your employer can ask you to begin maternity leave. See here : www.maternityaction.org.uk/advice-2/mums-dads-scenarios/pregnant/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/

So if you really need that months pay maybe you are best to avoid it?

That said you cannot go on working for this woman. Could you talk to someone in hr or a mire senior manager about how to deal with this for the next two months. It is clearly not good for you to be in this situation. Nor is it good for them As bullying, pregnancy discrimination and discrimination against you due to the me/cfs diagnosis is not acceptable and could get them into real trouble. How about working from home or changing team until the baby comes? There must be some sort of temporary solution?

Failing this I think it comes down to money. You could go off sick now and come back for a few weeks at the end without potentially having to start maternity leave. Or just get the hell out of there and start leave ASAP and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

Good luck. Don’t give up on the complaint either.

Thetimehascometo · 09/05/2018 01:44

I have been off with a physical ailment for a good chunk of my pregnancy but have also had a bit of an issue with Work place politics/bitchyness/bullying. Having spoken to my GP he has advised now staying off until I go on maternity (for a bit of both of the above reasons). When I spoke with HR they said as my sicknote does not have a pregnancy related reason on it they cannot force me to go on to early maternity leave, so I am going on to maternity leave on my due date (or when baby is born if that is before) and remaining on sick pay up until that point. If I were you I would look to do similar, you don’t want to lose time with baby because of a toxic work environment- you’ll regret it later!

Just as a side note I would not normally look to screw over my work place like this, but as it seems with yours also, they have been given ample opportunity to deal with the work place issues and to get me back into work and haven’t acted upon them so I am not wasting time with my baby to not look so bad in their eyes.

Original poster

whatamigoingtodo87 · 09/05/2018 08:39

@LaurG and @Thetimehascometo

I am due end of august and had originally planned to go on mat leave from the end of June due to it being the most stressful time of year (I work in HE and award students/ issue reassessments).

On top of the bulling, there has also been some funny business about my maternity cover appointment, my manager has already told me she doesn't expect me to return and the person they have appointed is her ideal permanent replacement, etc, etc. My manager is also trying to turn my team against me, im in a fairly senior role and luckily I spend alot of time with my team and they can see straight through this.

With everything that has happened i do think i will 'play' the system, but with good cause. I yet again went home yesterday unhappy, in a bad mood and haven't slept as im lying awake worrying/thinking about work. When i'm not in work im sleeping through, etc. I've got myself a doctors appointment for the end of the month and checked my sick leave entitlement, etc.

I am talking to Maternity Action today as soon as they open and hope they can advise. Unfortunately, I don't trust HR to remain confidential and feel if i were to ask this question suspicions would be raised.

OP posts:

Thetimehascometo · 09/05/2018 08:48

ACAS are also a very good port of call (I could never get through to maternity action)... funnily enough I’m in education too... considering these people are trained academics it amazes me how petty they can be. I’ve had to actually point out to a coworker that she is not medically trained when she was suggesting that I should’ve ploughed on through my illness 🙄

yellowmellw · 09/05/2018 08:51

If you have sick leave right up to your maternity leave date then they can actually start your maternity leave earlier which is something you really don't want to do.

yellowmellw · 09/05/2018 08:53

Maternityaction.org.uk

yellowmellw · 09/05/2018 08:56

If I was you I would immediately start procedures to get her investigated before you leave. Why let her win at bullying you, try to get your team onside

adviceonthepox · 09/05/2018 08:57

If you are off on long term sick while pregnant I think employers can change that to maternity leave from 29 weeks. I think that's if your sick leave is pregnancy related but I'm not sure. Maybe check your employee handbook. If they can put you on maternity leave it will mean a big chunk of your maternity leave will be used before you have the baby.

thinkfast · 09/05/2018 09:03

I'd said an email to HR to document her comments about a replacement along the lines of the below:

Dear HR

Managers name told me that a permanent replacement has been recruited for me role, as she doesn't expect me to return from maternity leave. I just wanted to confirm I haven't made any suggestion that I wouldn't be returning, fully intend to return and therefore expect my role to remain open for me. Can you please confirm that you've recruited maternity cover and not a permanent replacement for me role

Etc

Thetimehascometo · 09/05/2018 10:16

@yellowmellw that’s only if it is pregnancy related. If your GP doesn’t make mention to pregnancy you can be off sick up until the maternity start date you have selected. I get on very well with our HR manager and it was her suggestion to use this to my advantage

yellowmellw · 09/05/2018 10:17

Not necessarily. Since her manger is bullying her she may well do all she can to make it worse for op

Thetimehascometo · 09/05/2018 10:48

I’ll agree to disagree @yellowmellw both my GP and HR said providing it is not pregnancy related I could do as I wanted with my mat leave... so just don’t mention your pregnancy and you should be fine. If you have a good GP they will likely back you up if you encounter any issues. Mine has been awesome, but HR have also been great. My actual manager... the less said about them the better 🙄

Aw12345 · 09/05/2018 18:04

I was bullied at work about my pregnancy and having hyperemesis (slightly different situation to you I understand). Made my life very miserable at the time, awful treatment and horrible comments from him all the time. Spoke to Maternity Action, got their advice (they were absolutely brilliant!!). I complained about my boss to HR, turned out that 5 other people had also complained about him. Put it this way, he is no longer on the company. A good employer will not accept bullying.

Claire90ftm · 10/05/2018 10:23

I just wanted to say that my friend has M.E./CFS and it's a horrible, horrible disease. I'm really sorry you're suffering through this.

user1495827045 · 10/05/2018 22:01

I'm so sorry to hear you have had a bad experience :( that is definitely not what you need whilst being pregnant and you should be enjoying your pregnancy (as much as you can anyway!) I have also had a similar situation at work where I have been treated really badly since revelaing my prrgnancy - in facf i didnt even get to tell everyone as they asked me and told everyone on my behalf. I continued to go in and keep my head down however I was pulled in for gross misconduct and suspended!! For adding a name to a diary - I got told that was falsifying documents!! All my colleagues had said management team were trying to get me out so were not surprised, I quit after speaking to my husband and deciding my health and baby health much more important! We have one month of no pay and then I can claim maternity allowance. I would say to start your maternity as soon as possible if work is stressing you out so much and make sure you put in a grievance.

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