Sorry if this isn't the right place to post, just feel like I need to vent as I don't really have anyone to talk to.
I have plenty of people in my life but they all have enough going on for me to start unloading my problems
Basically, I'm 32 weeks pregnant and really not coping well with stress and feeling pretty low - this baby is so very wanted but just so upset with myself that I'm not enjoying it like I always thought I would.
We started work on our house and had to move in with my nan, I was assured by my husband and the builders that we would be in 2 weeks before my due date and now I have been told it's not going to be ready till 2 months after baby is here. I know these things happen and It's first world problems as we're making our house bigger but I said from the beginning I didn't think it was the right time and everyone involved said it would be done.
So we are living with my nan who is lovely and looks after us so well but it's not fair to expect her to have a new born in her home especially when it's already cramped with us and our two dogs. Also, my dad (her son) I haven't seen in 15 years and I feel like he will try and drop round unannounced to see his 'grandkid' which im just not ok with.
And then I find out my husband has started smoking again, he quit 5 years ago and I'm just so hurt that he would make a conscious effort to start again knowing it would devastate me and that I am heavily pregnant with his child, he has assured me it's just to cope with stress (the house build and he has a very intense job) and has said he will have quit by the time baby is here but now he is ratty and irritable which I feel like I'm constantly having to calm him down and just agree with things because I don't want to argue in front of my nan.
Also, if we have to have the baby here then my mum can't just pop round when she wants as her and my nan don't get on (mum was married to my nans son - the dad I haven't seen in years)
Also, just the fact I'm not in my own space is really stressing me out - I feel like I can't have a lie in if I haven't had much sleep because I'm in someone else's house.
I want to nest and all the babies stuff is in boxes and there is just no room.
Again, I know there is so much to feel greatfull for I just feel like my husband is being so selfish right now he is never hear he has golf and poker multiple times a week to 'de stress' and I've just got work then coming home to relieve my nan of the dogs.
He pays for a huge percent of our life as I have a bit of debt and my job is good but I work a lot on commission so I can't contribute as much so I know he has a lot of financial pressure - I just feel like such a magical time is being takn from me and no one really gives two f**ka about how I'm feeling :(
I know this is a weird post I just needed to get it off my chest before I have an uncalled for hormonal fit at someone!