Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Portugal hen do at 9 weeks, to tell or not to tell?

12 replies

ND348 · 03/05/2018 06:35

Hi ladies
I'm off on a hen do to Lisbon tomorrow for 3 nights and am 9+2. Question is, do I share my news or have a mysterious illness needing antibiotics so cant drink?

One of the other girls knows and said that she will look out for me, but I'm thinking it might be easier to just say I'm pregnant, or at least tell my friends. (There are 14 of us going, I'm friends with 4 of them including the bride, the others are the bride's friends from home).

We've got a pretty hectic first day and I'm already thinking I'll probably drop out of the night out early as I'm likely to be knackered, and they will all be wondering while I've gone off soft cheese and cured meat which they know Iove!

Has anyone else been on the situation? What did you do? Amy advice? X

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Lenny1987 · 03/05/2018 06:39

I was in this situation a few weeks back, big drinking weekend in Liverpool. I had just hit 12 weeks so could have told people but decided not to as I didn't want to overshadow the bride and have people talk about me and not her. Had just told my sister and she was great at swapping drinks etc. So people didn't notice. I managed to keep going till 3am
Have a great time!

Original poster

ND348 · 03/05/2018 06:42

Also forgot to mention, I had an early scan on Tuesday and all was looking good with a healthy heartbeat... I know it's not a guarentee of anything though!

OP posts:

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 03/05/2018 06:54

I would probably tell the bride because as the host people will take their cues from her, at least the ones who don't know you. If telling the other two then make it clear that it is too early for baby talk and you just want to enjoy the weekend then there is no need for everyone to know and to hear loads of advice from well meaning relatives of the bride.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 03/05/2018 06:56

I would just tell people. It’ll be blatantly obvious anyway! There’s no rule that says you have to keep it silent until 12 weeks.

Jenny70 · 03/05/2018 06:57

Do you want to tell these people (friends and extras) or would there be others you'd prefer to tell first? Will you have to rush around telling family/close friends cousins before you go?

If you're happy for them to know, I'd tell. My specialist said once you have a heartbeat your chances of pregnancy loss drops and is equal for the rest of the pregnancy (not zero obviously, but low).

If you don't want them to know, use the antibiotics, and if they guess/pressure I used the line "I don't think these antibiotics can be taken whilst pregnant actually". Don't speak too much about it, underplay it.

PotteringAlong · 03/05/2018 07:02

Just tell them. If you use the antibiotics line they will know you’re pregnant anyway.

BigGreenOlives · 03/05/2018 07:10

Just tell them, especially the bride before you go. You might be exhausted and if they know why you won’t spoil it for them.

Miserablemouse · 03/05/2018 14:47

I'd tell them. When you're at the age where everyone is settling down/getting married/having kids it is SO obvious when someone is pregnant as you're always half expecting it. I knew my best friend was pregnant from 5 weeks even though she didn't tell us until 13, it was just very obvious!

If you don't want to tell all the extras though that you don't know, perhaps just tell your friends like a PP suggested and ask them to drink swap with you to stop it being obvious to anyone else?

Original poster

ND348 · 03/05/2018 17:49

Thanks for the advice ladies. I think I'll tell them, means I don't have to worry about being tired or making excuses. If it was one night I'd probably not but hiding it for three is a bit harder! X

OP posts:

BigGreenOlives · 04/05/2018 05:44

It’ll save you hearing them all say ‘We knew you were pregnant when we were in Portugal’ if you waited until 12/13 weeks, this way they’ll all just be lovely and say ‘Congratulations!’. Hope you aren’t too tired & have a lovely trip.

Fia256 · 04/05/2018 06:05

I would also tell. I have been there a year ago. Went to a hen do at 7 weeks so less than you and didn't want to tell anyone. Most either didn't notice or were totally ignorant to the possibility and were calling me boring etc when I was exhausted just as the night was beginning. Then one of the mums who went actually guessed, gossiped about it with absolutely everyone and took away that moment for me to myself.

Original poster

ND348 · 04/05/2018 16:59

I told my friends and they were wonderful! Thank you for the advice, currently on route to the airport in the knowledge I wont have to pretend to do shots or feel bad abput sneaking off for a nap! X

OP posts:

Flip