Last trimester, is feeling down normal?

[Colonelpopcorn]

I’m heavily pregnant with a very much wanted and planned baby. I have a very supportive husband and we’re very happy.

My sister has recently announced she is pregnant. It was a bit of a shock as she has only been with the guy 4 months.

I have my own business and I’m taking 4 months leave as the business won’t allow for longer and I’ve also only qualified for £27 a week maternity allowance (although I’m trying to sort out the higher amount of £140).
I will only be returning 2 long days a week and baby will be with dh and family.

I’ve never felt happy about leaving my future 3 month old, but needs must and I’ve accepted its part of my job choice.

My sister works for a large organisation and her maternity leave package is really good, allowing her to take 9 months almost fully paid including her annual 7 weeks holiday pre maternity leave and 7 weeks post.

She was very smugly telling me all about it earlier this week and it’s silly but when she left, I cried because I just feel I’m going to be a terrible mother for leaving my young baby and i won’t manage motherhood and a business. I feel so overwhelmed. I’ve also had to finish 2 weeks early than planned due to health and hadn’t factored these into my budget. She’s had a few sick days without the worry of no pay and again takes delight in telling me this. It’s probably just my hormones but I’m just feeling utterly rubbish. It’s just tipped me over the edge.
I’ve had a mostly great pregnancy so why do I feel like this now? Is it normal to be feeling miserable at this stage in pregnancy?
Probably ridiculous but does this increase chances of pnd?

There is such a thing as ante-natal depression, but as with PND it's just depression but with a slightly fancier name. The anxiety you're bound to have before the arrival of your baby and the worries you have about what will happen afterwards are completely understandable. There's nothing that I can say that will take the worries away but, as prosaic as it sounds, you will cope better than you think you will. Everyone's situation is different, and there's nothing to say that your sister will have an easier time of things - especially if she's only been with the father for a few months - your situation sounds a lot more stable and desirable IMHO.

Hormones don't help (believe me I know how horrible they are in 3rd trimester - I cried over a lampshade last weekend!) but if you really are feeling miserable then you should talk to your midwife or your GP. HCP are very clued up on Mental Health these days and they will take it seriously.

Good luck OP - you will be a fantastic mother and role model to your future DC I promise you

Thank you kilo.
It’s so reassuring, having somebody say that I will cope better than I think I will. I’m generally the sort of person that doesn’t haven faith in my own abilities.

I think probably, the realisation of the big changes in my life are dawning on me.
I am also very excited so not just doom and gloom.

I feel better just to have written down how I feel.

It's hard OP. I think no matter what decisions/choices you had about maternity leave, there would still be something to feel guilty about. I'm part of the way through a year's maternity leave with my second but will be going back full time to a very demanding job. I feel rubbish about that too.

I think feeling down is very normal but do keep an eye on it and speak to your midwife/GP if you are finding it hard to cope with. I felt very down before the birth of my first and did go on to develop PND. I don't think it helped that my strength was already low from feeling awful in the last part of my pregnancy.

I'm only 26 weeks but was about to post a very similar thread... I am so over being pregnant (ages to go) but am worried about coping with a new born :-(

I'm at hospital today for the 4th time in 4 days with pregnancy complications and I could just cry for England! I just heard someone else's baby crying and it suddenly dawned on me that if I can't cope with pregnancy then surely I can't cope with a newborn (baby blues, post partum pain/healing, family visiting, a new baby complete dependent, relationship with DH changing etc etc)

Sorry you've had someone else making it harder (going on about their maternity etc). You'll be a brilliant mum I'm sure and the baby will get lots of new experiences both with and without mummy around :-)

You’re right rockandroll I think ‘mum guilt’ is now going to be the story of my life.
Will definitely keep an eye on how I’m feeling. I think it’s just the unknown making me worry. I’m sure once baby is here and I see for myself that I can do it and I’m coping, I will feel more reassured.
aw that baby is someone else’s. The connection you will feel towards your own baby will (I’m sure, I obviously can’t speak from experience) mean that you cope because you want to care for it, nurture it, and make sure it’s well looked after etc. I can’t get my head around that yet, but I’m hoping that shortly I will understand that love for my own child.
Sorry you’re having a bit of a crappy time of it.
Like I say, I think it’s the unknown.
It’s like starting the most important, exciting and worrying job of your life with no training!