Breastfeeding

[Flyingchimps]

It is my intention to breastfeed, we have done the NCT course complete with breastfeeding session, I have read a couple of books, have an idea of what is right and problem signs to look out for... my biggest worry is- everywhere seems to be highlighting how hard it can be. Now don’t get me wrong, I understand baby may need to have access to the breast a lot etc, but the pain, and just how hard it can be is all I keep reading about and it is terrifying me slightly!

How have others gotten on? Is it always that hard? Or am I being prepared for a worst case scenario?

No it's not that hard. It takes some getting used to and I won't lie and say that if you get cracked nipples it isn't painful but I found it so much easier than having to faff with bottles and formula. Getting the baby latched on properly is the most important thing obviously so if she/he latched on and it doesn't feel right don't persevere just detach and reposition.

Sometimes it can be hard, sometimes it won’t be.
With my first I wanted to breastfeed and was also worried about how I would get on. But I got on fine, as soon as she was born she latched on, then during her first day of life didn’t feed at all for about 14 hours. This worried me massively, I was assured that was normal after birth, since then I fed up until she was 16 months.
For me I didn’t find it too hard,(which I know isn’t the case for a lot of women) the worst was cracked nipples which only hurt for the first 10 seconds of latching. I also got blocked ducts a few times. It takes patience.

It’s good that you are informing yourself on what to look out for, if I’m being honest when my dd was born I had no idea about any of it, just got on with it with the help of the midwives, so you already have an upper hand.

Yes their can be problems but more often then not it will be fine and even if it’s not, it’s okay. It’s food and whether that is formula or breast, your baby will be getting fed.

I felt the same as you, to be honest it really annoys me how people in real life, and on here bang on about how hard it is and painful and everything else, because they are justifying the reason they did not do it. What they don’t realise is that it puts others off from even trying. And what you tend not to hear are all of the good positive stories, because, well, those people just get on with it!
I managed to ignore all they naysayers and had a really positive experience. It wasn’t 100% rosie all of the time, I had my share of tears in the early days, but overall I found it easy, convenient, cheap, and only have good things to say. And I know plenty of other people who had the same experience as me.
Ignore the negative people and enjoy!

I second redastherose: the first couple of weeks can be quite challenging, especially if you get a cracked nipple (lanolin nipple cream is your friend) however it was so much more convenient than bottles overall, and my DS has been remarkably cold free.

Investing in a breastfeeding scarf helped a lot in terms of my confidence - I've fed in the pub in the middle of a load of blokes and felt like there was nothing to see. However it is the law that you can feed wherever you like!

Hi. I’m currently sat here breastfeeding my 1 day old DS2 and this time round seems much easier and fairly pain free considering we have only been going a day. With my first I found the feeding a lot more difficult at the start and put this down to myself being inexperienced but also think it took my son a while to get it, so if you don’t get it straight away do keep trying, it will come eventually and is so much easier and didn’t hurt at all once we had it right. Try breastfeeding clinics and check for tounge ties etc which might make it harder. I found lying down by far the best technique first time around and seemed to get DS1 used to it. DS2 was massive (9lb11 ) so think this has helped as he seems stronger. The worse part for me is not the pain it was constantly losing the breast pads every time I took them out and leaking everywhere but enjoy the opportunity to sit and have cuddles on the sofa, just be organised with stuff you need (drink, remote) before the feed and you will be fine.

It really does vary from person to person. I found it really hard like many people do but I got through it as you will, one way or another, whether that's breezing through it, struggling for a few weeks then making a go of it, or ending up switching to formula or a mixture of the two. I think it's good that you are aware of the difficulties of BFing so your expectations are realistic, but I wouldn't let it take over your headspace. You're worrying about something that might never happen!

Eminybob maybe people "bang on about it" because for some of us it was hard and painful. Doesn't mean it's an excuse to stop.

Op my own experience was the first 2 weeks were relentless and extremely painful. It continued to be difficult for about 6 weeks. After that it was so much easier and absolutely worth persevering with. I'm still EBF and have no regrets. Others find it easy from the start so you don't know until you try.

Good luck with your new baby when it comes

It can be hard but in my case, it was absolutely worth persevering. NHS Breastfeeding classes and NCT told me it shouldn't hurt if you're doing it right and if there is any pain, it would only last for the first 5-10 seconds. In my case, it really hurt to start with despite a good latch and no tongue tie and that pain lasted for the first minute or 2 of each feed (felt like much longer at the time). Coupled with a baby who cluster fed for hours at a time, this was really tough.

Fortunately I had friends who had also struggled at the start and both of them told me to keep going for 6 weeks if I really wanted to breastfeed and baby was gaining weight. So i persevered and at the 5 week mark, we turned a corner and it became the easiest thing in the world. As others said, no sterilising or cleaning, no making up bottles and food on tap. I fed until 15 months and it was absolutely amazing.

I feel views on Mumsnet in general are much more negative than I've encountered in real life but I put it down to people being more likely to post if they struggled or it didn't work out

I'm 7 weeks in to breastfeeding my first and it has been fairly easy from the beginning. I had a couple of nights of breastfeeding support in hospital and the midwives showed me how to hold her and gave me tips on how to get her to latch- so I'd recommend that if your hospital offers it. It hasn't been painful at all and if she cries I just pop her on my boob and hey presto- quiet happy baby!

I realise we are lucky and it isn't like this for everyone but just wanted to let you know that it may not be the difficult journey you think.

I've been breastfeeding for 3 months and had no problems. It was a bit difficult to get started because both of us had to get the hang of what to do. For the first couple of days I had no milk so DS had a bottle of formula because I was worried about him not getting fed. And then he wanted to feed constantly and I had a week or two of exhaustion and struggling to stay awake to feed. But after that it was fine.

The main "problems" for me have been more like annoyances - boobs leaking and aching, and baby vomiting mid-feed over my boobs, clothes and on the bed when feeding at night (get a waterproof mattress protector!) Also it's tiring when you can't take a turn to sleep and let someone else feed at night. And it's sometimes awkward to find somewhere to feed discreetly when you're out. But I've found it so much more convenient than having to prepare bottles.

I've had lots of success with nipple sheilds and know at least one other mother who is the same. It's not what I would have wanted but it's an acceptable compromise and means I have missed out some
potential problems like sore nipples.

I.found it was uncomfortable for the first couple of weeks while my supply settled down. Frequent waking in pools of milk with rock hard boob etc, painful letdown. Things got much easier after that.

There is a theory that nipple sheilds can effect supply but I've not had issues, maybe because I pump on top too.

In my eyes the only real negative to breast feeding Is that you never get a break and always need to be available /awake. I'm lucky as my son is just starting to sleep for longer periods at 12 weeks but this might not be the case for everyone.

Positives are many. Less faffing esp at night.baby doesn't need to be left crying while you prep a bottle, also less cleaning. All the good immunity stuff.

What I have been.surprised about.is how much I have enjoyed it. We have been considering moving to exclusively expressed feeding but I find myself very reluctant to lose this closeness. It's spool nice to have him feed and to fall asleep on you all cuddled up. Well worth the effort in the beghoning.

Positive experience for me too, some pain when baby latched (mainly on one side) for first few weeks, but only for 5-10 seconds. Loved breastfeeding and hope it goes as well second time round (due in September).
There is lots of help if you need it - via hospital breastfeeding clinics, private consultants, breastfeeding groups etc.
I have had friends really struggle/not manage to feed their first babies, but be fine second time round, so I do think some of it is also baby dependant - some seem to 'get it's more than others!
Good luck, I think NCT classes helped me, you're doing all the right preparation. If it doesn't work out I think it is good in many ways to know you certainly are not alone and trying to move on to how does work for you and baby.

Brilliant thanks for sharing your experiences, it’s good to hear some positive experiences!

It can be a bit hard going to start with, I think people emphasise this a lot to make sure people are prepared and don't feel like giving up because they think they must be doing something wrong, but it does get easier as you both get used to what you are doing etc. It's definitely worth it! :)

I never had any pain with it. You do tend to hear more of the bad stories as the good are generally unremarkable. Good luck I hope it works out for you.

It varies a lot from mother to mother and baby to baby. I think that the most important thing is to make sure that you know good and reliable sources of support because although it's quite common to have problems in the early days of breastfeeding, it's pretty unusual to have a problem that can't be fixed if you have the right support.

There's two different things go on really.

I found breastfeeding an absolute breeze in a physical sense, baby latched well, I had some pain for a week or two but nothing at a level that made me consider stopping.

But when I did stop breastfeeding at 6 months (I had to go away for 48 hours and DD decided she preferred bottles after that) and reflected on it I realised that actually I had found breastfeeding really hard work and restrictive. I didn't like feeding in public particularly so didn't go out as much as I would have liked to as DD was very unpredictable with feeds, I didn't like nursing clothes as they were the opposite of stuff I would normally wear, I didn't like feeling like my body wasn't my own. My bedcovers constantly needed washing because of milk leaks and I found breastpads (all types - I've tried them all) very uncomfortable. I also had something I've since discovered is called DMER which is basically a feeling of nausea/low mood during milk letdown. It's apparently a hormonal response but it made me want to squirm away from DC1 every time I fed her for a few weeks.

BUT I'm glad I did breastfeed until 6 months, there were also positives such as not having to get up during the night to make bottles, not having to sterilise things, having food instantly available for an otherwise very colicky baby, and that's before you even start on the perceived health benefits of breastfeeding.

I'm due DC2 in a few weeks and despite knowing what I do now I'm still intending to breastfeed again until around 6 months. The difference this time round is that I will be attempting to mix feed from earlier on so that I hopefully have a bit more freedom and flexibility.

Really depends on the individual. I found it incredibly hard but did still manage to do it for a year. It wasnt so much the pain, I only had that once or twice when I got an infection and once or twice when he first started to get teeth! So it wasnt the pain why I found it hard.... I just found it incredibly psychologically draining. I did not like it at all. If anything it made me less close to my son because it made me unhappy... bonded with him much better once it had stopped!
When he was first born I was so tired after a very traumatic labour but still had to wake every hour to feed him... no one else could do it as I could not pump enough milk to put in a bottle until several months after the birth. So it had a very negative effect on how I felt. That lack of sleep building up over months with no nights off turned me into a complete mess!

Im still going to try and do it again with my daughter who is due in a couple of months. I do think the health benefits are great and so it is very much worth trying to do it.

I personally do not enjoy it though and find it tough going.
I kept having to tell myself id just do it for one more day then I could stop.... and managed to get to a year when he was fully weaned on solids and so did just not want it any more.

I think you cant know how you will react to it until you have a go at it.

I had a friend who was physically unable to produce enough milk and that made her very sad as she had really wanted to do it.

I have another friend who really enjoys it and is still doing it and her daughter is nearly 3!.

So I think its different for every woman.

I think preparing for the worst case scenario is a pretty good idea because you will probably then be pleasantly surprised! You know it could be hard and does involve some work so you probably wont just give up at the first hurdle as someone who was expecting it to be very easy may do.
Hopefully you will be someone who enjoys it!
Like anything else you will probably hear more horror stories online than positive ones because people will want to discuss the negative ones more. Not because there are actually more negative stories.

I think it's hard to get your head round how different it is to ff. A lot is about perception too. I'm a determined person and work with very challenging children so I could easily apply that mental attitude to the issues I encountered.

It's an organic process; more milk is made the more that is taken. Worried about weight can sometimes make you loose confidence but there are lots of things that can be done to help this. Latch is so important so getting feeds observed by peer supporters can help with many issues.

Don't assume that it's going to be the same - a baby's mouth and latch changes as they grow and you need to revisit your latch positions.

I had a lot of problems with over supply due to bad expressing advice (only pump what you need!!) and very strong let down that my baby couldn't deal with, plus he had a posterior tt and until quite old was just a baby who choked on things a lot! That was hard but I persevered to find out the problems.

Some women find the way you are completely joined at the hip due to bf the hard bit - but that's normal.

I was embarrassed out and about when I could only get a good latch lying down - I put too much pressure on myself to keep up with the women traipsing round all the baby classes. I guess I had that upright feeding idea in my head - best positions are often where the mother is lying back on a soft couch with lots of pillows. That got better after a tongue tie cut.

Some women and babies have no issues at all. A lact consultant did tell me any issues are usually due to the baby's ability to keep a latch and stimulate the breast; not the mothers as long as she's working on positioning for a good latch. As they get older a lot improves as they just get better at it. But there are so many resources on the internet to help - la leche league, Kelly mom and Dr Jack Newman's videos on latch are really handy.

Phone for advice, talk to people on help lines and local fb groups etc.

If you're in the north there's an enormous fb peer support community I can put you in touch with who also meet regularly in real life.

The food of love is a brilliant book by the way.

I've breastfed for almost 3 years now and the absolute best piece of advice I got was don't give up on a bad day. My major struggle was the sense of giving over my body to another person.
The first wee while can be particularly hard, but having a newborn is hard in lots of ways. Post about 4 months breastfeeding suddenly became a complete doddle.

But I loved it so much and it was sooooo handy I never got round to weaning till I nudged ds at 3.5. Wasn't planned; it just became so lovely.

Also, I found I could talk through tantrums and upsets when he was a toddler while feeding. He'd listen carefully. It was known as the "toddler reset button". Saved my sanity.

It varies from person to person. I think the "banging on about how difficult it can be" is just coming from women (like myself) who were told it's the most natural thing in the world, and then found it hard initially, and worried they were doing something wrong. It's meant to encourage Mums of 1 week olds who are finding it hard by saying "it's normal, it gets better".

I found it extremely difficult for a month, then extremely easy. Still feeding now at 20 months. It was totally worth it.

I struggled massively with DD, to the point i only managed 3 weeks. My gripe was the opposite to yours...everyone told me how easy it was & how it would just come naturally. It didn't. It hurt, constantly, which i was told wouldn't happen if i was 'doing it right'; my supply sucked (DDs weight confirmed this) which again i was told was nonsense. The relief i felt after watching DD neck a bottle of formula & not cry afterwards was unbelievable.

I'm hoping to try again with DS when he arrives, but this time i am more prepared because i understand that it just isn't an instant, blissful thing for some people

It's different for everyone. For me, it was completely pain free and very easy and convenient. For friends of mine it was the opposite. You won't know until you have the baby and give it a go, but try not to anticipate any particular outcome. Just be prepared with a couple of bottles and ready made formula in case its not right for you or isn't working out. Don't feel any pressure! If you simply don't like it, you're allowed to stop.

This is a little off topic but it completely changed how I viewed bf in our society and how it's approached in other societies. I think we are very clinical and breasts are viewed as sexual things. This woman clearly had no issues bf but the culture she was in has no issues with bf. Rates here are very low in comparison and we don't really see it growing up till we are pregnant and have a new born of our own.

www.drmomma.org/2009/07/breastfeeding-in-land-of-genghis-khan.html?m=1