Not coping with pregnancy

[KimKurl]

12 week scan yesterday (turns out I'm 13+ weeks), always suffered with anxiety. They couldn't get a picture of baby and am booked in for quadruple test for when I'm 16 weeks. Likely not to get results until in 18 weeks and it doesn't test for Edwards/Pataus. I feel anxious to have to wait so long for the results. Midwife has reassured that as I'm in my 20s if will most likely be fine but I can't help but drive myself nuts over it. I'm worried about every twinge. I've had 3 miscarriages, one after 12 weeks, and can't deal with anything else going wrong again. I'm constantly on edge and want this baby so, so badly. How do I calm down? Is this an extreme reaction and if so, any tips on how to stop worrying?

Bump?

It's really hard to stop worrying. The only thing that (vaguely) helps me is to keep telling myself that I am doing everything I can but there are some things we sadly don't have any influence over. Worrying is perfectly normal, but try to not always let your mind go to the worst place. I find mindfulness techniques quite helpful, in terms of stopping myself from panicking too much. Learn to identify the (overly) negative thoughts and stop them in their track.

Distraction can help as well, make sure you keep busy as much as possible, though that doesn't always work well (for me).

On a more practical point, could you afford Harmony/NIPT testing (privately)? It might give you some peace of mind.

Thanks @WhereIsThisGoing - I would love to do the harmony test but I just can't afford it, not can DP. We aren't poor by any means but need to be careful before I go on maternity.

I feel like there's so much pressure. I'm only 13 weeks and have a bump already and whilst many women can't wait for their bump I just wish mine hadn't appeared until after I knew things were ok.

I am so inside my own head and I think it's because I want this so badly. I just need to calm but can't seem to be able to concentrate on anything other than my worries

You've had a really difficult time, it's no wonder you're worried, it's natural. I just tell myself that the vast majority of pregnancies end in a healthy baby :-)

Can imagine it's very difficult when you've had previous MC's but you're doing everything you can to prevent another MC.

Have you ever tried mindfulness? There are some things online about it and I find it helps when I'm panicking :-)