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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Baby On Board

94 replies

aaaarti · 01/05/2018 20:04

Anyone from London using the badges? I have recently started wearing mine due to feeling nauseous and get so many looks (as I don't have a bump yet)
How are you all finding your tube journeys?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

felicitythemangyfox · 05/05/2018 10:13

There are no badges for “hidden” health problems and disabilities TFL now do "please offer me a seat" badges for exactly this purpose. (I agree it's good to be proactive if you can and just ask, though)

Pigeoncat · 05/05/2018 11:03

It’s not an assertiveness issue at all. It’s simply an easy way to “yes - please offer me a seat - I AM pregnant and won’t be offended.” Yes, you have to be proactive about it too, but I think what it saves for me is me having to work out who to ask!

Sometimes for example, some perfectly healthy looking suited chap will be sat in a priority seat who I feel like I could ask, but I don’t know whether he has some underlying health issue that means he too needs a seat. Perhaps he’s diabetic and hypoed earlier, perhaps he’s got a twisted ankle, a heart condition... the list goes on. So what, I could announce “HELLO I AM PREGNANT WOULD ANYBODY LIKE TO BE OFFER ME A SEAT?” and truly announce my pregnancy to the whole carriage, or I can wear my inoffensive non targeted little badge and who ever feels able can offer me a seat. Surely that’s a good thing? It takes ambiguity out from both sides. It’s a really nice thing.

Original poster

aaaarti · 05/05/2018 11:37

Totally agree with you @Pigeoncat

I have been very lucky to be offered a seat every time and the badge is a big help for my daily commute.

OP posts:

Evangeline3 · 05/05/2018 11:50

I've got the badge but I haven't even used it yet. It's only recently (26 weeks) I've started to ask people if I can sit down despite them not being able to see my bump.

surreygirl1987 · 05/05/2018 17:12

@pigeoncat yes absolutely. @dozer - no.

Flev · 06/05/2018 09:04

I have to travel to London regularly for work, but because I live outside London and the southeast apparently I can't request a badge - and my local train operator doesn't provide them.

Original poster

aaaarti · 06/05/2018 09:17

@flev when I first started feeling really sick, I asked at my local underground station and they gave me one so its worth a try to ask at a few tube stations.

OP posts:

Flev · 06/05/2018 09:25

Thanks @aarti, I'll try that when I'm next down.

isthismummy · 06/05/2018 09:33

I've got one. Im 19 weeks with twins and was putting off wearing it as I'm not really showing much yet.

However last week I had to run for the train and was overcome by a really bad dizzy spell when I got on. Really thought I was going to faint. I had no badge and the train was packed. Horrible journey home.

I do find it helps and I nearly always get offered a seat. My bump may not be a hinderance yet, but I'm struggling with breathlessness quite badly, so any offer of a seat is very welcome

Dozer · 06/05/2018 11:15

Glad there are “please offer me a seat” badges, haven’t seen any of those yet.

How ISN’T it an assertiveness issue to want but not ask for a seat?

surreygirl1987 · 06/05/2018 17:22

I think you have misunderstood, @dozer. I have asked for seats in the past, and not always received a pleasant response, or inadvertently bothered someone who needed it even more than I did. That's why I'm glad these badges exist - it makes it much easier all round. Without the badges, yes I would still ask for a seat. However, having a badge avoids me having to select a person to ask, and potentially embarrassing them into admitting ' No sorry I need this seat because...' in a public place, or having a confrontation with someone who refuses to stand which has ended up in an argument before (even other people got involved). Surely it's best to avoid situations like that where possible? Well these badges make it possible. I'm also glad that The 'please offer me a seat' badges exist.

Pigeoncat · 06/05/2018 17:54

@dozer to play devil’s advocate, what does it matter if someone does lack assertiveness? Not everyone has the confidence to ask a stranger for a seat. Not everyone is assertive. Why is this a problem?

Almostthere15 · 07/05/2018 16:03

@flev I do the same and I've really needed it so I emailed them (or sent feedback on the page maybe) and explained and they sent one through the post.

I find that someone always gets up when I'm wearing one, and now I have an obvious bump they do anyway. But they are so good for that in between time and people on the tube really understand what they are for.

Cineraria · 07/05/2018 16:30

I didn't find mine particularly useful but I know plenty of people do. During the first trimester, when I felt really sick and dizzy and could have done with sitting down, I didn't want to wear it in case a colleague commuting saw (I work in a large organisation and often have to present information at other departments' team meetings so am quite well known) and mentioned it to my manager or other team members before I'd told them. By the time I needed it again as I was getting uncomfortable, I was very obviously pregnant and usually offered a seat if I could get down the aisle at all to where the seats were. During my second pregnancy, I was almost always carrying DS1 in a sling on my back while I was commuting and thought people might think I was using the badge incorrectly to refer to that.

Dozer · 08/05/2018 12:27

I encourage others who need a seat to be assertive partly because I once fainted at work during my first early pregnancy having stood for an hour on the way in, and also fell over when heavily pregnant on a busy bus. I had wanted but not asked for a seat. Bad driving, bus turned a corner fast and several people went flying. DC was fine and I was too, but for me it was a wake up call.

London commuting can be brutal and people often don’t offer up their seat, so although badges are great to have are not a substitute for self care and assertiveness.

User12879923378 · 08/05/2018 12:50

I find it sad that even other pregnant women will sneer at pregnant women who aren't sailing through pregnancy. "It's not an illness you know" - ha, well, lucky you, it is for some of us

ohhellojo · 08/05/2018 21:18

I support @Dozer completely with this. I don’t disagree that a badge makes it easier for those who find broaching the subject of asking for a seat, but it’s just generally disappointing that people can’t just talk to other people when they need to because they’re scared of others judging them (regardless of what state they may be in). Shouldn’t matter if you’re pregnant, old, have a disability or are just tired after a day at work, if you feel you need to sit down, you should just be able to ask for it without being ashamed of feeling you need to sit down. Terrible times we live in 😔

kirinm · 08/05/2018 21:58

I bled on and off during the first trimester and early second trimester but was too nervous to wear my badge. Looking back, I could've done with a seat then. I wear a badge now. I've got a very obvious bump at 23 weeks particularly in the evening when the bloat kicks in and I still end up standing. Nobody gives a fuck. Some days I can cope with standing, when I can't I do silently hate everyone on the train.

Thetimehascometo · 08/05/2018 22:26

I was surprised by my weekend train journey. I had booked my seat in advance (DH dropped me into the local big train station as the local trains from our town are renowned for overcrowding). So I was quite happily sat in my pre booked seat on a longish (3 hour) journey. Half way through a lady came on to the train and said ‘can you move, I need a seat because I am pregnant’ now 1) if this is how people ask I’m not surprised they get turned down (I’m sure none of you lovely ladies would phrase it like this) 2) She obviously hadn’t looked at me as I’m 31 weeks pregnant and it’s quite obvious.

I get that pregnant people may need a seat as they can feel unwell and uneasy on their feet. I think sometimes a bit of forward planning can help resolve these issues, and a bit of politeness goes a very long way, and as many others have said you never know the person you are asking to move may need that seat more. The badges are good, but people also need to look to help themselves too!

Dozer · 09/05/2018 10:46

Kirin - ask for a seat.

HoppingPavlova · 09/05/2018 11:00

I don’t catch public transport much but when I have and it’s standing room only I have always been offered a pregnant/disabled seat. I’m not pregnant, just fat. I take it. Easier to take the seat and have a comfy journey than embarrass the person.

Embracethechaos · 09/05/2018 12:16

Haha hopingpavova. Sounds like a win to me. I get embarrassed when an older, more wobbly person offers me a spare seat. I prefer leaning on now I'm pregnant, so much effort to stand up again.

mintich · 09/05/2018 12:22

I wear my badge. The only time I don't get a seat is if it's sardine packed and I can't get anywhere near the seats!!

EmpressOfSpartacus · 09/05/2018 12:28

Not pregnant, but as a London commuter I just wanted to say that I think the badges are a brilliant idea. If I see one I get straight up & offer my seat without having to worry about offending someone if I've got it wrong. It's much easier.

chocolatesun · 09/05/2018 12:35

It’s definitely not tacky or smug to wear one. It solves that awkward dilemma for those seated who might otherwise be unsure if you’re pregnant or just fat. I’m very short so my bump wasn’t always that obvious, especially if I was wearing a coat and/ or if the carriage was crowded. I hated asking people to give up their seats when I was pregnant as I worried they may themselves have a hidden disability. The badge is also a good reminder for people not to push into you. Having said that I was hardly ever offered a seat on the Richmond to Waterloo fast train...!

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