Doubts

[surreygirl1987]

I'm 18 weeks. Anyone else having doubts about if they're doing the right thing/ ready for a baby? My oh and I were trying for a few months and I was devastated when my period came each month, and so happy when I fell pregnant... and We're 31, married, in stable careers with own home etc and definitely do want a family ultimately. So why am I freaking out and wondering if we've made a huge mistake? Just now I was regretting having told anyone and wondering if an abortion/ adoption was an option and considering raising the idea with dh. And feeling so trapped knowing that life will change forever. I dont feel ready and I feel too young (even though 31). But that's crazy- this is what we wanted and planned. What's wrong with me?! Anyone else feeling similar or had similar feelings?

I felt exactly the same even though my DS was planned. Life is hard with a baby but you get used to it.

It's normal to feel like this as your life will change dramatically

You'll be fine, I was 30 married etc etc when I had my first. You're just panicking about how life will change, which of course it does. But when you meet your baby that panic will go, and remember it's not forever and ever ( yes you are mum forever and ever 😂) but he/she will grow up and your life will change again. I'm not at that point yet, but several of my friends are, and they are enjoying there new found freedom, before they become granny's. 🍀

It's almost certainly got something to do with hormones. They can make us think the craziest things. The day after feeling incredibly relieved that we finally knew baby had nothing wrong with her (on Monday this week) I came down from my fabulous high and found myself wishing life could just be normal again and I could be not-pregnant for a while. Luckily I find my moods fluctuate quite quickly, but if you find yourself feeling down about your pregnancy for an extended period please talk to your gp or midwife. BTW I'm 40 and still don't feel ready!

what have you decide in the end?
I constantly have mixed feelings, I know it's about time to become mum (35y) especially that we're financially comfortable ect BUT I still feel so lost! trapped sometimes.. should be happy but wondering is this is what I really want.. I love my life the way it is now..

I felt the same when I found out I was pregnant. I think it's fairly normal to have a wobble, it is a massive life change, there's no doubt about it. I was 26 when I fell pregnant and despite trying for 8 cycles, as soon as I saw the two lines I thought 'oh shit, I'm too young!'. I was also married and in a good living/financial situation etc.

Truth is that having your first baby will be a huge shock to the system no matter when you do it or how ready you feel. Nothing can prepare you for what it's like. But you'll be fine!

I randomly have felt like this on and off. It's a bit different actually being pregnant and knowing there's no going back rather than wanting to be and planning it, I found. There's an inevitability to it and to be honest, I found that the change to my life happened quite quickly due to being pregnant... so it wasn't as if I was just waiting to have the baby and it would change then. It also changed my relationship.

It feels quite stressful and at times overwhelming. Overall, I have enjoyed being pregnant on some level but on another level haven't be able to wait to just have the baby here... I have sometimes considered whether she might be better off with someone else and all sorts of different emotions round whether I can give her a good life or not.

Yep. 30, unplanned and terrified. I'm 17 weeks and feeling the same but it comes and goes. I think pp r right, it's hormones. Hang in there! Xoxo

It's fine! DS was planned and very much wanted but I had two "oh shit! What have we done?!" moments - the first when we got our positive pregnancy test and the second the day after we got home from hospital when I was feeling exhausted and overwhelmed! You can do it, you will be absolutely fine and yes your life will change but honestly it's so so worth it. Good luck and congratulations.

Oh god it's so reassuring to hear that everyone is going through this!! @gottabestrong you hit the nail on the head perfectly!
Had a good talk with my husband this eve. Luckily he's the most laid back, reliable, placid guy in the world. Feeling a bit better about the whole situation, though will probably still cringe whenever anyone says 'congratulations or 'so exciting! Thanks all.

It can be exciting and wonderful being pregnant. It can also be the most scary thing in the world. You're taking a massive leap into the complete unknown and changing your life forever. Anyone who isn't even a tiny bit apprehensive must be a bit daft!!
I love my kids dearly and wouldn't change my family for the world. But it was all a bit scary at times the first time round.
Good luck OP.