Did miscarriage stop you enjoying your pregnancy?

[ChickadooChickadee]

Morning mners. Made it to 12 weeks amazingly after a number of miscarriages and no babies to show for it. I'm finding my pregnancy really hard to enjoy however. I have my scan on Monday and have convinced myself there'll be no baby, even though I have no symptoms to suggest that. I know this is normal to feel this way but I can't help but feel that my previous miscarriages are stealing my joy.

Anyone else feel the same? I'm just an anxious mess who spends her time terrified of what may go wrong, crying because I feel so out of control and can't help but feel I'm going a little mad...

Yes, but like Aria it did help me relax with my baby a bit more and I appreciated the little things so much.

Yes, until I saw baby moving around and heart beating in the 12 weeks scan

(my first babies Heart stopped beating but I didn't know until I went for scan)

I was still a wreck until I could feel her move at 18 weeks. Then I was okay.

Congratulations

Before DS I had several miscarriages and absolutely hated being pregnant with DS. I was scared all the time. I didn't allow myself to get excited incase the next scan or appointment was bad news. I had an early scan, 12 week and 20 week scan and that was it. I didn't want to look at the pictures because I didn't want to bond with something I could lose.

I had to fake excitement at 2 surprise baby showers, all day at work when people would talk pregnancy and babies, every time I saw family and friends. DH was so good and tried to reassure me. I felt like the worst mum because I didn't love my bump.

Of course when he arrived I was so happy and loved him so much. I've decided I don't want to have any more myself now. DH and I have spoken about adopting in a few years though.

Me too. And I then went on to have PND as well. I wish I had spoken more about how I felt, to anyone really. But....I now have 3 kids and we are so happy, those miserable pregnancy memories seem so distant.

Good luck and lots of virtual hugs

Yes I feel the same. I’m 12 weeks today and have my scan on Monday and consultant (high risk due to hypothyroidism). I’m hoping after this I will feel better x

Gosh, this is really common isn't it! Sending  to you all. Thank you so much for your honest answers. @AJ89 snap, I guess Monday is a big day for both of us! Best of luck!

Yes, a thousand times over, sorry you've got to deal with this rubbish! After a miscarriage, ectopic, and IVF failure, I'm convinced every scan will show an empty uterus or a missed miscarriage. I'm on constant knicker watch and every cramp sends me into a panic, and when I don't cramp I worry the baby has stopped growing! I understand the early days can be nerve-wracking for everyone but for us with previous losses, it feels unbearable. Hoping I will relax after prenatal testing (if low risk) and if I get to feel baby move. Good luck and best wishes to you

Yes. Now 34 weeks and still can't quite get my head around that there may be an actual live baby at the end. Doesn't help that my mother had a stillbirth at term, I don't know if I'll ever feel out of the woods to be honest. This pregnancy has gone smoothly so I feel I should be excited and overjoyed and I am, but still I can't quite believe it. I find it so hard to express this.

I took my whole pregnancy one day at a time I couldn’t think any further than that so there was no excitement or joy about next month or when the baby arrived. However I think that also helped me cope / enjoy more the first year as I couldn’t really look ahead so again worked from day to day so didn’t find things like no sleep for months as hard as maybe I would have done if I could think ahead !

(I also physically went into shock with each contraction as if my whole body couldn’t believe that I really was having a baby 🤣 the midwife said she had never seen that before !)

Yes. Just turned 13 weeks today after two missed miscarriages last year at 11 and 12 weeks. I had a tiny tiny bit of spotting this week so I am convinced I have had another MMC, my scan isn’t until Friday so will have to wait and see. Still have all of the symptoms so I have no idea what to expect.

I’ve spent the past 9 weeks on edge, constantly checking the TP and my underwear, fretting over every little cramp or loss of symptom. It’s been a whirlwind.

Same here - I had MC in February at 6 weeks, and now pg 7 weeks. If I'm not worried about MC, then it's that something's going to be wrong with the baby... This would be my 1st child.

@brogueish your poor mum. So sorry she experienced that. Just awful. You must be worried but stillbirth is so rare nowadays and 34 weeks is an amazing place to be!

Thanks all for your kind words. I wish Monday would hurry up! Longest weekend ever...

I'm 21 weeks and still not able to fully relax and enjoy this pregnancy. I have 2 dc, then I had 2 early miscarriages (approx 7 weeks) then my next pregnancy ended in the second trimester, then another early miscarriage after that. My late miscarriage was picked up at the anomaly scan, which has caused huge huge scan anxiety for me this time! I've so far had scans at 6 weeks, 9 weeks, 12 weeks, 16 weeks and the 20 week and every single time I've been a complete and utter wreck. At my 20 week the sonographer had to stop the checks and just hold it still over baby to reassure me that he was fine as I kept thinking something had gone wrong since she'd checked 2 minutes prior! And now I'm past all the scans, I keep worrying I've not felt him much!

It's such a shame as you definitely loose that blissful ignorance of anything going wrong when you've had a miscarriage, but I just have to keep telling myself, that it makes this baby even more special and worth it

Im only 4 wks after a 9wk mc last year. Im absolutely terrified. Last time i had nausea and sore boobs, so far this time i just have bad cramps. Everytime i go to the loo i expect to see blood.
DH is getting excited. Im so worried about dissapointing him.

I'm around 6 weeks after 3 early miscarriages (5 weeks, 5 weeks and MMC at 9 weeks but baby stopped growing around 5). I've been a nervous wreck. Had early scan yesterday after some bleeding and saw a little bean with a little heartbeat but don't think I'll relax until there's a baby in my arms! I have a short cervix so am at high risk of second trimester loss/premature delivery too though.

@Paranormalbouquet congratulations on your new pregnancy! I remember you from the sept thread before your miscarriage. I'm keeping everything crossed for you that this time works out and you get your rainbow baby

I can’t say it ruined my pregnancy, but it definitely made it a very anxious one. I spent literally every single day hyper analysing every twinge, bit of discharge and each tiny movement. Each scan I was convinced I would be told there was no heartbeat. Ditto with each time the midwife listened in to baby. I literally did not stop worrying that somehow my baby had died until I could feel her wriggling her head as she was crowning. That was the point where I finally believed I might have an actual real life baby to show for it all.

But I will agree that now I can actually see her and touch her that I am not nearly as anxious as I thought I would be. Obviously those first few days with a brand new tiny baby are nerve-wracking, but now she’s 11 weeks I’m starting to believe that actually I might just manage to keep her alive!!

Thanks @Fia256, I’m delighted everything is going well for you this time.

This pregnancy is a bit of a surprise as was using condoms while awaiting surgery but will just have to wait and see how it goes!

@chickadoochickadee how did it go today?

Hi all,

How did the scan go today? I hope you don’t mind me joining the thread..

I definitely can’t seem to enjoy it and starting to lose hope again..

I had a miscarriage six weeks ago, was told everything was clear and tested negative afterwards. Fast forward. Few days ago, got a positive which is what I wanted but then.. I’m starting to panic again. My cervix is closed but started spotting due to speculum examination and cervical erosion.. got my HCG levels checked and only at 38.. I’m trying to stay positive and maybe my dates were all wrong hence the low numbers.. but I’ve just been upset about it really but reading some of your experiences really helped.