20, pregnant and terrified

[han2305]

I basically just need some advice off someone 😭

I’ve got endometriosis and abnormal bleeding in my uterus so my dr and specialist advised it would be incredibly difficult for me to get pregnant, even using IVF.

I didn’t think this would be an issue for several years.

So because of my uterus problems, my periods are very irregular and it’s not unusual for me to not have a period for a month or two. As a precaution, I normally take a pregnancy test just in case.

So I was incredibly shocked to find out i’m actually pregnant at the moment. Especially as I always use contraception with my boyfriend.

I really don’t know what to do, I’ve spoke to my mum and she’s made me an appointment at an abortion clinic for monday 30th april.

But the longer time goes on, the more attached i’m getting to the idea of having a baby and thinking of getting rid of it is really upsetting me.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half only. I live at home and I work 40 hours a week on weird shift patterns. I’m worried I won’t be able to support a baby and I definitely don’t want to bring up my baby with a crappy quality of life.

I just don’t know what to do and i’m really struggling to find someone to talk to who understands what i’m going through

I'm 18 , 20 weeks pregnant and this baby originally had a appointment booked at a abortion clinic which I never attended clearly . If you don't want to get rid of the baby then simply don't you will only feel worse about it afterwards your partner should support either of the decisions and if not then tbh it's his loss . Saying that I got lucky my partner when he found out I was pregnant quit his job at Tesco and is now a insurance consultant / broker and we live in a 3bed house as we already have a son ( just for those who usually comment , no we do not live in a council house and no we do not claim huge amounts in benefits . Child benefit is enough for us )
I personally see no issues with all of the above regardless but many people do especially when your under 30 . Speak to him and think it through thoroughly x x x x
I hope that your at peace with keeping or aborting this baby but you need to be sure for yourself not to please everyone else x x x

What do you want? Putting practicalities aside for a second, how do you feel about this? Have you talked it over with your boyfriend? Would he be looking to live with you and be a family or is he not keen on the idea of parenthood (he'd have to pay maintenance regardless)? Being 20 isn't the end of the world, I was 22 when I conceived my eldest, and working 44hrs/week, although he was planned. You'll work all the practical stuff out if you need to.

I’ve spoke to my partner about it and although the idea of getting rid of a baby upsets him, he doesn’t want a baby at 22.

tbh I would never want a baby this young but I think i’d regret getting an abortion.

We could put a deposit down on a house but it wouldn’t really be affordable for us with a baby and a house to manage. I’m only on a temp contract at work as well so after mat leave i’d be jobless.

I’m just worried that i’m not ready

I'm very much pro-choice. You need to do what is right for you. Having said that, since you are aware that you are likely to struggle with infertility due to your condition, I think you would need to consider that regardless of your decision becoming pregnant again may not be straightforward when the "right" time comes. I have a friend who regrets an abortion in her early 20s now she is experiencing infertility in her 30s, and it is not a good place to be.

I had a child when I was younger than you. But my husband was in his thirties and could support me so that I didn't have to work. I AM very glad that I stayed a family early but the finacial strain has been considerable despite my husband being a high earner. After tax there isn't much left when only one person is working. I won't lie. The stress has taken a considerable toll and I am not the best mother as a result. While being a young parent is great I would never recommend having a baby that you cannot afford.