Feeling low during Pregnancy after fertility treatment

[Saz444]

Hi, I know this is a strange topic but I just want to share how I'm feeling with someone.
I ttc for over two years. We tried for a while then I fell pregnant naturally, we lost the baby and then I recieved fertility treatment for another year and a half before falling pregnant in November. I am currently 23 weeks with a healthy baby and no real pregnancy problems except that I feel so low. This feels ridiculous to me because after so long waiting and saying, if only I could get pregnant I would never be sad again, here I am feeling sad.
I feel sad for the baby we lost, guilty for being pregnant when others still fight for it. Guilty for not being ridiculously happy always about being pregnant. I feel guilty for ever complaining about being pregnant, and being met with comments like, "well isn't this what you always wanted?"
Don't get me wrong I am so happy to be having this baby and I'm so happy to be where I am now but I think I'm just exhausted. For the past two years my head has felt so controlled by hormones, getting pregnant, miscarrying, failed treatments, body being prodded and poked too often and now 6 months pregnant and that's making me feel exhausted.
I don't really know what I want from this. I supposed just to feel like I'm not alone maybe or someone else has felt this way?

Hi i think its perfectly normal with your hormones being all over the place...i had been trying for 2 years and have arthritis. I never thought i would be preganant.
Who says we cant complain...even though it is something we really want.
Enjoy your time resting as much as you can even if that means being a slob and enjoy this time before your baby comes along.
If possible book a massage and relax and pamper yourself.
I have been off work with extreme sickness in and out of hospital and some days i find it so hard to even wash my face and only move from the bed to the sofa...but thats the reality. Not everyone has sailing pregnancies.

Hope you feel better soon

I could have written your post OP. I've taken along time to get pregnant and suffered a loss on the way, now 21 weeks and I'm not the happy glowing lady I think I should be.

I am happy to be pregnant but also feel guilty about it. And I get annoyed at myself for not wanting to go out and bankrupt myself buying cute things, I don't want start planning the nursery either. I always smile when I hear the heartbeat and I'm always relieved after a scan goes well so all is not lost.

I find being around people who I'm close with who get excited helps, I've also found watching one born makes me a little more broody again.

My advice is just take each day as it comes and try to think of the positives. My midwife told me it's not uncommon to feel like this but it's important to talk about. Really hope you feel better soon.

TTC for 3+ years and finally got BFP in December following my 7th round of IUI. I know exactly how you feel, I have felt down about the whole thing at times and then feel so guilty for feeling bad or complaining when we tried so hard to get to this point.

Rationally I know I do not have to be happy all of the time and when I am feeling low it isn’t a bad sign or anything to be ashamed of. We are pregnant which makes us hormonal, after having rounds of treatment which also makes us hormonal. It will all pass when we have our LO in our arms

I feel like this. I’ve lost 4 but the pregnancy that I keep looking back to is the one that I lost in December 2016. I’m so upset by it still. I get really sad and angry when people say to me things like “is this your first baby?” Or “see, the other ones just weren’t meant to be”!
I got really upset at the fertility clinic when one woman said to me, after I had told her about my losses, “well at least you can get pregnant”.
I am currently struggling to see the baby I have inside me now as a baby. I think it’s a trick baby. I have the scan pics but it almost feels like someone else’s. I know that’s ridiculous but at times I’m struggling to feel happy.

You're not alone op.

I'm 17+2 with ivf twins. I went through hell to get them. I spent the first trimester crying and wishing I wasn't pregnant.

Infertility fucks you up big time and sadly getting that bfp is not the magic cure all we tell ourselves it will be.

Be kind to yourself

You've been through a huge amount OP. I had fertility treatment for 3 of my children, plus several miscarriages and a stillbirth. My experience of pregnancy was very similar to yours and I had PND after two of the births. Plus a feeling of being a total imposter who was about to be found out and exposed as not a "real" mother.

The only way I got through the pregnancies was by telling myself quite firmly that today was fine and tomorrow would be too- I found planning further than that too difficult. I had a very supportive midwife which helped a lot, have you spoken to yours about how you are feeling?

Definitely not alone. Trying for 8 years, infertility issues, 2nd IVF cycle worked. Currently 16 weeks pregnant and everything okay so far... and yet, as much as this baby is wanted, I have never felt excited or happy now that I’m pregnant.

I feel like I’m losing myself, my hormones are all over the place. Where I was pretty level headed and calm about things I’m now finding myself getting so angry at the drop of a hat. Usually over the stupidest of things. DH is getting the brunt of the anger and I can see myself doing it and I can’t seem to stop it. He’s really understanding and knows just to leave me alone until I calm down. This isn’t me. I’m not myself and I really don’t like it.

This will be our first child, we have planned it for so long and we are so looking forward to being parents to our little baby... but all I can think about is that I have 24 weeks of feeling like this to go and I hate it and I hate myself for feeling like this. Currently telling myself to take it one day at a time and when I go to bed, that’s one day closer to baby being born. I will keep an eye on myself though and if I feel like it’s getting too much, I will make an appointment with my doctor.