Newly pregnant and man troubles....

[Rose2887]

Just found out I’m pregnant which was planned only been trying a month..
Since we found out I thought my partner would be more understanding as been feeling emotional and tired etc and instead he keeps saying I’m putting it on, that his sister is pregnant and is fine so I should be... he said it’s not an illness!! I don’t feel sick and I haven’t got any complaints bar tiredness and needing a hug.. anyone else’s partner like this???
Thing is I’m working then coming home sorting the house out and getting his tea on the table and he expects me to be the house wife and go out and earn money, no sympathy :( no help!!! Sorry just needed a rant.

Sorry op but your partner sounds like a bit of a dick! Being pregnant has a massive impact on your body. Tell him to tidy up and sort out tea and you put your feet up whilst you grow another human! X

I think you learn a lot about a mans character when you're carrying his baby and unfortunately yours is showing himself to be a bit of a twat OP. Hope he steps up for you. I'd start laying the law down, setting the standards of what you expect now as it will only get worse the further along you are and when the baby comes. Tell him it's not the 1950s!

@JazzyJefff @snipples
I know 😔 what do you think I should say to him? I just need support and it’s scary thinking that I’m going through this and it feels like I’m doing it alone xx

Could you send him this: www.babycentre.co.uk/a2911/tiredness-in-pregnancy?

I'd tell him that every pregnancy is different and he can't compare you to his sister.

And that whilst you're pregnant, he will need to take care of you, whilst you take care of your baby.

Would it be so hard for him to help make tea, do some hoovering and carry the shopping.

It's not like you're asking him to push a human out of his body!

Good luck op, I'm sure you'll be a fantastic mummy, even if daddy is a bit of a douche bag! Xx

Thanks :) I’ve been crying all morning, I think it’s my hormones! I haven’t even told my friends or family I’m pregnant yet so I don’t even have their support! Xxx

You should definitely speak to your mum first OP!

Send him a link to the NHS website, it says in there about "exhaustion" in the first trimester. NCT website also has a good section for dads.

Also, did he live with his sister whilst she was pregnant? I think to the outside world I probably looked normal (before I got the bump) but to my DH I was like a zombie! Nothing but work and sleep.

Take care of yourself and rest xx

I was a basket case during pregnancy yet a couple of people recently told me how well I coped and when I explained how awful I had felt they'd no idea. So just because he thinks his sister is coping well doesn't mean she is!

As for your husband. It is worrying that he is so unsympathetic. Pregnancy is exhausting and stressful and can have added issues such as severe morning sickness or gestational diabetes etc. I would firmly remind your husband that you are growing a human and you need a lot of help and support. You need to stop being his skivvy too - nip this in the bud now. Housework needs to be shared and once you are in late pregnancy / recovering from childbirth, he needs to be doing the lion's share. I am honestly horrified by some of the men I read about on here and their lack of compassion for their struggling partners. Try to sort this out now - he needs to step up and stop living the 1950's fantasy of having a live-in maid and baby maker.

Have you always had to do all the cooking/ housework? Expecting you to ‘Get his tea ready’ is ridiculous. He’s an adult. Pregnany aside, he sounds like an idiot..

Thing is I’m working then coming home sorting the house out and getting his tea on the table

Are you a 1950s housewife? Does he help out at all? Or sit there in front of TV/PC while you do all the work? He's sounding like a bit of an arsehole to be honest.

Congrats on your news.

Does his sister also have to go home from work, keep house and make a full meal for her partner? I'd suspect not. He is taking the piss OP, you need to get him to take more responsibility long before your baby arrives.
Congratulations on your pregnancy

There’s are lots of weekly updates you can sign up to for pregnancy, and I send my DH 3/4 screenshots of my update every Sunday. It helps keep him in tune with the development of the baby, and what I’m experiencing. I can admit I was an innocent in that I had no idea of the many symptoms a pregnant woman can have long before there’s any sign of a bump.

Are you a 1950s housewife?

Obviously not, as 1950s housewives didn't have to work fulltime as well.

Tell him to ask how his mum was during each of her pregnancies!

First trimester is pure exhaustion, never been so tired in my entire life. Second trimester is better but still sleep is great, third trimester it’s a physical exhaustion... different but still knackering.

Your OH is a nob head and his sister is very lucky but it’s very unusual not to feel tired during pregnancy... your body is creating another human. It may not take any thinking on our part, but our bodies are totally spent doing that so have little to no energy for anything else

Also I’d think about telling somebody or maybe a couple of people, I know you may not want to but you really do need support if your OH is being like that. You’ll have to struggle alone with some nob that just had to come inside you and his job was done and thinks it’s just as easy for you