AIBU to be annoyed with consultant led care?

[brogueish]

I'm 33 weeks and under "consultant led" care - because this is my first and I was 41 and 10 days at my booking appt (if it'd been two weeks earlier I wouldn't be). No other risk factors. I'm classed as "low risk".

I have asked my mw and the consultant who I'm supposed to talk to about what and they've both give waffley answers that leave me none the wiser. I've gone to both with a list of qs and have been fobbed off by both ("talk to the other one"). Exactly the same things happen at each appt (urine test, BP, etc), on consecutive days, and they ask exactly the same qs.

I had some concerns that hadn't been answered by either so I went to my GP this morning, who was very nice but also gave me the "this is really a q for your mw/consultant" and I ended up feeling completely pathetic and in tears.

AIBU to just want some clarity on who to talk to about what?

I do realise that I am probably being overly emotional about this but I'm feeling so lost and as though my care is falling between the gaps, and it sucks.

Just be polite, direct and clear with the consultant “I’m finding a lot of duplication in the testing and I’m also finding that each service is asking me to ask the other when I have questions. Obviously that’s not great : here are my questions, the GP refused to answer these and referred me to you.”

If they tell you to ask the GP to just repeat - “I have done, they referred me to you. I’m concerned that I’m falling between the gaps a bit here.”

Polite, direct, and if you need to be, pushy.

Thank you, and yes you're right, I'm probably not being pushy enough.

Just feeling a bit emotional at the moment I think. Cried last night because the local pool had lane swimming all day today and I just wanted to bob about in the water....

Perfectly normal to feel like that, it’s an emotional rollercoaster! :)

Be kind to yourself.

I'm under consultant care because of MH and the medications I take for it but am not considered high risk either. The midwife has answered most of my questions no problem, only got a few times where I was told the consultant needed to be the one to discuss something with me because as a doctor they had the final call. Once I passed that message to the consultant they answered my questions.

So I would say try being pushy with consultant, they really shouldn't be trying to pass the buck to the midwife.

Thanks Leigha, see that sounds far more reasonable and what I'd expect tbh. Just feel I've been fobbed off by everyone so far and I'm not asking complicated questions. Must be more pushy!

I was 39 at booking, 40 when I gave birth and I was consultant led but otherwise low risk and very fit & healthy.

I think you just have to be prepared to be pushy with the consultant to get your q's answered.

I was messed about quite a lot by junior doctors all saying different things so eventually I asked to see the consultant. Couldn't see him the first time but saw a sr reg who had a look over my records with consultant & then she spoke to me in detail re: plans for birth. As it was I went overdue & then together with the consultant we agreed a plan re induction on x date. Ds arrived the day before thank goodness! (He is now a strong healthy 5 yr old).

I hardly read any medical stuff during pregnancy - I knew about good nutrition etc, but I deliberately kept away from any bad or worrying stuff.

I had been told at ante natal classes to avoid induction & how it was fine to go overdue by 2 weeks. Not at my age it turns out but only the consultant had the wit to explain that to me properly so that I could understand the risks to the baby of placenta breaking down compared to the risks of an over complicated birth/over medicalised birth with induction.

It was hard though. After my first hospital appt I never went alone again & I'm a lawyer & I do litigation, deal with heavyweight clients etc but I still needed a bit of moral support. Sometimes my mum but when it got tricky, my sis came to help out.

Good luck