Colleagues have guessed I'm pregnant!

[CluelessMamaToBe]

Hi all. I've been off work for a while with hyperemesis. It's settled a bit with medication but and still vomiting on my bad days. I've returned to work and have unfortunately had to throw up a few times in the toilets. I would love to take more time off but I won't be paid for it so it's just not doable as bills need to be paid. My boobs are enormous, I'm 11 weeks on Friday and have a 'bump' (it's bloat, but nonetheless I look rather whale-esque). I'm very tired, coming in late some mornings, only eating bland foods at completely random times... problem is, all of this has resulted in my colleagues guessing that I am pregnant. They haven't mentioned it to me, but the one person I did tell has told me they've got their suspicions (she's a good friend and I can assure that she has not told anyone).

Is it worth me just coming clean? They haven't done anything wrong and I'm sure if I thought someone was pregnant I would wonder (maybe not enough to have a chit chat with another colleague however). I feel extremely awkward now and like everyone is looking at me for signs of pregnancy. I had a scan at 10 weeks (haven't had nuchal) so I know the chances of baby being fine are extremely high. Is it too early to say?

Feeling anxious and sat on the end of my bed currently not wanting to go to work...

There aren't rules about announcing a pregnancy! Say whatever you want to whoever you want.

Just tell them if you feel comfortable doing so, they’ll already know anyway.

My work colleagues knew at around 7 weeks because I was so sick, they knew before all my family did! :)

It's not too early to say if you feel comfortable, but you shouldn't be pressured into it because of the way other people are making you feel.

A colleague guessed I was pregnant at 10w as I had antisickness bands on - tried to cover it as much as possible but she outrightly asked me and it took me by surprise so I just said yes. I was annoyed as I'd never have asked such a direct question, and my line manager wasn't aware at that stage. I've always been of the mindset that with things like that, you shouldn't say anything until the person has, but there we go!

@grumpy4squash I know there are no rules, however was just wondering if I would be silly to announce before I've had my nuchal scan. Though I am very low risk anyway as I'm young and have seen a heartbeat...

Why do you feel awkward? I don't understand the problem really - you know you're going to get bigger don't you?! Tell them or don't tell them.

Thanks @Honey456

@ButtMuncher this is what I want to avoid. I want to tell people myself rather than everyone find out through Chinese whispers. I know it's no big deal to people and I don't want to do a big announcement, but would be nice to have that moment to myself!

This was me-hypermesis and all. I waited until scan. They knew buy never said anything!

@TwitterQueen1 I feel awkward because people are talking about me being pregnant and I feel like they are all constantly evaluating what I eat, what I look like, how often I go to the loo, etc. So yes makes me feel awkward. I know I either 'tell them or I don't' however I have only seen a heartbeat and haven't had a nuchal scan so don't know anatomically if my baby is developing properly, so not sure of the risk of anything going wrong. I don't plan on keeping my pregnancy secret forever however it is still very early.

My concern was whether I would be naive to think that I'm safe to tell people at 10 weeks just to relieve my anxiety.

And yes I am well aware that I am going to get bigger

In similar position I didn’t say until 12-week scan. A few people had already worked it out but had kept it to themselves.

That said if you’ve seen a heartbeat at 10 weeks then your odds of miscarrying are pretty low now, so if you really want to tell people then you’re in a good place to.

Thanks @53rdWay - I'm gathering that the 12 week scan is more about miscarriage risk and checking viability/dates than any abnormalities! I always thought it was like an earlier version of the 20 week scan but I appear to be mistaken..

I've never really understood the "rule" of not telling people. My view was always that if something went wrong I'd have to tell people then and it would be much worse having to tell both bits of news at once. And if you tell people early they can cut you some slack at the time when you often need it most. I'd tell them, OP-especially as it sounds as if everyone knows already!

Thanks @BertrandRussell - the thing is my manager already knows and so do my family, however it's just the wider organisation I haven't told (I work in a huge office). I probably wouldn't tell them if something did go wrong. However you're probably right, I'm likely overthinking this and should just tell them!

A lot of people guessed at my works I still waited till my scan to officially tell everyone. It's completely up to you. They all said they were 90% sure so when I told them it was a nice confirmation

Tell them when you feel comfortable- there are no rules.

I guessed my colleague was pregnant before she did- she came in one morning and said she had period pains and felt really sick, I didn’t say anything until she announced it.

My experience is that the people that work within the same office - like you say - usually guess and talk about it behind your back. Not because they’re being mean but because they’re excited, it’s interesting etc. Perhaps if it’s buggung you, tell one or two of them that yes you’re pregnant but that it’s atill early so you don’t reallt want to talk about it until after your scan. That way, they can confirm the gossip but then tell people to be a bit more mindful about their observations/conversations. Hopefully that’ll make you feel less “under scrutiny” but means you won’t have anyone making a big deal, god forbid anything wasn’t right. Good luck with it all. Xx

Thanks all. @EeekPreggoAgain that sounds like pretty sound advice to me! Thank you

Some people at my work thought I had an eating disorder before I announced my pregnancy, was picking at food, no change in weight but checked in the mirror lots, always going to the toilet and being sick.
Think they were relieved when I got out my scan 😂

I told the practice manager where I work at about 10 weeks as we were in the midst of discussions about my future plans to stay there. Felt they needed to know everything.
I just can't believe people came and asked you if you're pregnant - that's intrusive and puts you in a difficult position. I'm also paranoid if I did that they wouldn't actually be.... awkward!!

I'm sorry I have only just seen the last bit about having had a ten week scan. It is of course up to you but if you've already had a scan albeit slightly early and it's causing you all this stress not telling people, just let them know!