Mixed feeling about pregnancy

[Angharad07]

I don't really know how I feel about being pregnant now.

I had a mmc in January (2nd mc), was looking forward to the baby and was heartbroken. Found out I was pregnant again on the 6th of April. Went for an early scan on the 13th (supposedly 6+3) but no foetal pole, yolk sac or heartbeat- just "something in the womb lining". Going back on the 23rd at supposedly 7+6. LMP 26 Feb.

Despite all of this going on I'm in my 3rd year of uni and my dissertation deadline is in a week's time (have 5,000 words left). I'm 20 years old, I'm stressed, and I don't know how I feel about this now. I want the baby but equally since preparing myself for a possible loss I've realised how hugely disappointed I am by all the things I'm missing by possibly having the baby. I now just feel a huge wave of apathy towards my pregnancy.

Neither of my pregnancies were planned but I was very excited in my first, now I just feel dread. Dread towards having a miscarriage and dread towards having a baby.

Any advice?

That sounds completely understandable, you are preparing yourself for the worst and looking for reasons why having a baby would be bad timing makes that easier to deal with. I think you'll only really know how you feel when you have the scan that confirms whether the pregnancy has progressed, at that point you can think about your options.
I'm sorry you're in this position and for your previous loss, the waiting part is awful. Try to distract yourself for the next few days (easier said than done I know) as it is all out of your hands until then

thank you so much, I think you're probably right

I'll be thinking of you on Monday. And good luck with your dissertation!