c section in 2 weeks 6 days & i'm sooo scared

[kellogs]

I'm having a c section in 2 weeks & 6 days & i'm absolutely terrified, have a 2 yr old from previous c section but it all seems so real now & i'm really dreading, just read a thread re hospital bags & then spent the next 5 mins crying!!
Excited as well don't get me wrong but i'm thinking will i cope with a demanding toddler partner just got new job so he can't take maternity leave so when i come home i'll be on my own. All the insecurities are coming out & finding it hard to not panic & completely stress myself out.

I was so stressed the last couple of weeks aswell so I understand where you are coming from. Does sound like you have your hands full with a toddler. Isn't law that husband/partner can have two weeks paternity? Not sure but his employers would surely understand.

My mom works full time, my partners mom has real bad arthritus. My sil on my side has 2 kids so if she helped me i'd have to have he kids as well & my sil on his side also works full time. My partners parents said they'd take my toddler for a few hours but tbh i'm worried he might feel that i'm excluding him (he's a mummys boy at the min)
I knew this would happen my partner was made redundant 8 mths ago i said all along that he'd get a job just as i was about to have a our baby

Worried that if he did say they might find a way to penalise him in some way plus it's an american company, not very understanding. Also we need the money due to him being out of work for 8 mths (was made redundant just as we discovered we were having another)

Could you get a maternity nurse or postnatal doula? You really shouldn't be managing with a two-year-old and a newborn, in the few weeks after a section.

(I know, I know, money is tight, but if you don't get a few weeks resting, or at least mostly off from the toddler, you will end up with a wound infection etc etc.)

I know not helping matters is i'm being sterilised at the same time!! I'm so stressed & really worried that i'm averaging 3 hrs sleep a night (can also blame being so flipping uncomfy as big baby) causing rows as well cos i'm constantly snapping at him cos i feel a bit let down (not that it's his fault)

Kellogs, It is going to be very tough but you will survive the whole experience.

Have you thought about hiring a maternity nurse/helper for the first two weeks? I think such things exist. I don't know how expensive they are though.

Have you got a freezer? If so cook huge pots of dishes suchas spag bol, chilli etc and freeze them into individual portions. Stock up as much as you can before the birth. After the birth internet shop for fresh food if DH can't go shopping.

Try and get lots of interesting things for your toddler to play with next to your bed post-birth. I got a pop-up train tent for mine and let him put as many toys, blankets in to it as he wanted and he played in it for ages.

Ask your DH to make a picnic lunch for you in the morning before he leaves work. Also have a flask made up with tea/ coffee and drinks for DS.

It will be hard but looking back on it I have fond memories of those early days.

It does sound like you need a maternity nurse or post-birth doula. Some do a reduced rate due to been newly qualified. I know as a maternity nurse myself its quite difficult to get your first job so you could get someone quite cheap. They are self-employed so you don't have to pay their tax. Got the impression you weren't here in England though?

I live over here his company is based in a little village a few miles from us, he however lives 18 miles from me ( been together 8 yrs but i don't actually wanna live with him if he bugs me i can kick him out )
He will be staying with me for a few days so i won't be dealing with bedtimes just 6 hours. Have got a teenage daughter & 12 yr old son, but tbh they're not very helpful, it's just the 6 hrs without anyone here that freaks me tbh. The getting up & down to prepare food & drinks & changing 2 bums (gonna potty train him when the older kids break up & i'm not so sore)

I think you need to have a serious talk with your older children that they are old enough to help.

kellogs I had this with my second - dh started a new job the day after dd2 was born by c-section.

I had dd1 2.4yo at home - she has sn so not walking or anything like that - had to lift/carry her everywhere - she was able to crawl of sorts.

Get yourself some arnica tablets - am sure they helped me heal much quicker second and third section compared to first when I did not take them.

Okay

at home - change both of them on the floor. Had books and dvds for dd1 so that she could watch those whilst I fed dd2.dd1 aso had a nap every day so i made sure i slept then or at least rested then too.

as to meals - what someone else said - freeze as much as you can - dd1 got lots of finger food lunches etc. I also just had snacky type lunches that I could have throughout the day almost rather than a set lunch time.

I am not going to lie and say it was easy - it was tough but you do get through it. You need to make sure your older ones know that you will need their help at night etc.

I would not worry about toilet training your 2yo for a while - let this all settle down and then worry about it - far easier to change nappies than be up and down to the toilet all the time.

kellogs

I'm also having a c/s in two weeks time and am also really nervous- hence I always seem to be on MN at 3 o'clock in the morning.

Just a little point re potty training. My younger son will be 3 in July and has shown no inclination to date to give up nappies. I've decided to leave it until the start of the summer holidays when we will all be pretty much stuck at home along with my 5 year old. I'm thinking that the baby will sleep a lot during the day, I will hopefully have recovered a bit from the c/s and toddler can run around making a mess in the garden.

Would echo seeing if your older children could help out with letting you have a sleep/meals etc