Odd comment after sex.

[Emmie87]

The long story cut short is that I am no longer with my partner.With the breakdown in our relationship & issues around this, I think access will be decided through mediation.
But when we was together & I was about 20weeks pregnant & after we had, had sex he was stroking my belly & said "did the baby enjoy that"!!
It really sat funny with me & haven't been able to forget it, even tho was a couple of months ago. Am I being silly? I don't dare tell anyone IRL due to how I feel about it.
Thanks x

That's a very weird thing to say!

That wouldn't sit right with me either OP

Oh my. I'm currently 20 weeks and think I'd lose the plot if my partner said that to me

Ew. That's extremely worrying. You know you can end a relationship for any reason, OP. He doesn't have to agree, and you don't need his permission.

I would also report what he said to your midwife & perhaps the NSPCC, so it's on record if he ever seeks custody. And don't give him parental responsibility, whatever you do.

Errr that’s horrible!!! I’m pleased you left him

It is a weird thing, but I wouldn’t read too much into it. Most likely he meant like the bouncing around or whatever? Maybe?
I certainly dont think leaping to paedo type comments is helpful.

Well I'll go against the grain and say he was probably a bit worried about having sex with you whilst you were (are) pregnant and like many men twits can't express himself verbally.

I would've taken it as a joke I don't imagine he was actually thinking about the baby during sex.

EEeeew!!

It depends who you're looking to help Isadora. The man who makes suggestive comments about unborn babies, or the baby who really doesn't deserve all this shit, or to be put at unnecessary risk by a mother determined to give her man the benefit of the doubt against her better judgement? Thank god the op was prepared to be bold and make that seemingly impossible decision. The world needs more women prepared to trust their gut instinct.

That...is a really strange thing to say? Did you not question him on what he meant at the time? I mean maybe it was just a joke and badly phrased but it's a mighty peculiar thing to come out with.

That is so creepy. It wouldn't sit right with me.

Although, I know someone who constantly says inappropriate things at inappropriate times. He says things without thinking. Could it be a misjudged joke?

or the baby who really doesn't deserve all this shit

User(i can’t be arsed noting all your numbers) what shit exactly? The OP didn’t say what her many issues were but that his comment hadn’t sat right.
The people suggesting contacting the NSPCC or refusing to give him parental rights (illegal surely?) on the basis of this are the ones not being helpful.

A baby deserves two parents who make their best efforts to put them first. A stupid post-coital comment doesn’t suggest he can’t be a good dad.

Get a f***g perspective. Your not with him anymore and it happened a couple of months ago. You don't know what was going through his head at the time and your saying you need to go through mediation so clearly not his number 1 fan.

Could it just be some poorly phrased joke abou the baby beimg rocked/ feeling movement?
One of my friends said baby seemed to be napping after she had sex. I remember being at the time because it's a weird thought. Later in pregnancy (when she wasn't up for sex but was having her insides kicked) she joked about whether sex would calm baby
Sounds weird but entirely harmless comment.
Just offering an alternative to him beimg a creep.

Tbh I personally wonder if the baby knows when we're having sex and if it likes/doesn't like it. I also wonder if it likes/dislikes when I cough, laugh, do aerobics etc. I personally wouldn't read into it any more than that but I don't know your ex partner - maybe there is a wider context?

Tbh I personally wonder if the baby knows when we're having sex and if it likes/doesn't like it

Surely not!!

Anyway. Lots of movement/rocking/bouncing/whatever usually calms them, doesn't it?

When I asked my partner if he thought sex (we have lots of it) was bad for the baby he said “no, it’s really good for him!!! All those endorphins!!!”....I looked at him very strangely and called him a weirdo! He was laughing when he said it. It was a lighthearted conversation and NOT creepy at all. My partner and I have a bit of a weird off key sense of humour but neither of us is what anyone would consider strange or creepy!
The men in my life do tend to say things which I think “what??!!” But so far no murderes, rapists or other evil characteristics.
It’s a bit “ewww” but unless you have some significant other situations or events which would collaborate with the theory of something more sinister going on, I would try and let it go. Pregnancy is hard - I couldn’t worry that much about my silly partners ridiculous commentary!!

Does sound a bit creepy but my feelings are that it was probably a joke that came out wrong or wasn't intended that way. If there are other things which have made you worry apart from that comment then I'd definitely make a note of it with my DR or someone official just so there's a background to go back to if you ever in the future need to restrict access to the child because of any other worries/suspicions.

“no, it’s really good for him!!! All those endorphins!!!”

There might actually be some truth in this; happy mum, happy baby and all that!

The comment in the op is still as creepy as fuck, though