Breast feeding or bottle feeding second one

[SnowWhite26]

I am 20 weeks pregnant with number 2 and thinking about feeding options. With my first I breastfed for 2 weeks but she lost a little bit of weight and i was never sure i was doing it right. I was so relieved she was drinking formula i never worried. She has always slept well and she is happy and healthy. Soooo with number 2 on his way i dunno weather to just formula feed from the beg. That way my partner can help and maybe the baby might sleep better or i could try breast again and hope it goes better. I have friends that breastfeed now and no where i can go for support. Do u generally think that breastfed babies dont sleep so well? I had so much milk last time as well. What are ppls experiences? Thanks x

I would like it to work i just don't want to feel the same way as last time and want whats best for baby. My areolas are big and having a midwife squish them into my tiny babies mouth confused me as my lo couldn't get it all in. Maybe this buba will have a bigger mouth. I watch my friends breast feed and they don't seem to put much areola in but then again they have smaller areolas

I had difficulty breastfeeding my first but wanted to try and breastfeed my second but due to him being a big baby and having a tongue tie I was advised to express and feed but felt like I was spending so much time feeding dc2 that dc1 was missing out on time with me. It's a very personal choice but just be aware of your dc1 needs as it is such a big change for them as it is and I felt like they were more important than breastfeeding.

It sounds like you have a good set up to give breastfeeding a go- support locally from friends and experts, a positive attitude but not overly invested. So if you give it a go then Great-
It’s quick and easy once you get going. My second was fed while I read the bedtime stories to my first. I also had a wee basket of special books and toys that my first could get out when I was BF his sister- you have a hand free for a toddler when BF compared to bottle feeding and although other people can’t help- realistically us mums are often doing the majority of the feeds anyway.
BF was quick and easy and I found it fit round my life with a toddler no bother.

Have a google for good latch pictures/videos - you'll see a variety of areola sizes there and it's absolutely not an indicator of how much breast you need to get in. Some areolas I've seen are almost bigger than the baby's entire head - there's no way you'd get all of that into their mouth. If you have large areolas then it might not be a good guide for you. It can help to sort of squash your breast into a hamburger shape as this can help a baby to latch but they don't necessarily need this, it's just one technique which can help.

Here is also a gallery of different breasts - you can see a huge varation in areola size. It's nonsexual but obviously contains nudity!

www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php

Hi Snow, here's a YouTube vid which I think is really helpful in showing how to bf and why baby needs more than just the nipple. Like pp said though, because areolas and nipples are different sizes, it varies how much areola will need to go into the mouth. I like this vid as it shows all kinds of shapes and sizes of boobs too which is quite fascinating! But for sure, only nipple will result in pain for you and not enough milk for baby. Is there much bf support where you live? La leche league have meetings where you can go before baby arrives as well as after for support. Would encourage anyone to give it a go as once it works it is easy, can definitely be hard at the start tho. m.youtube.com/watch?v=y--syZR0u1E&ebc=ANyPxKq0Wp95PkCzac_BHGCezhS0Bnek5_gDKtq017owICuPZKT7f7vVTE6genRREjOlzE0wOEniRrwI79fbUwbiDMhw-PfCEg

Don't get too bogged down on how much areola you can see, it varies from one woman to the next. A good latch is basically when they get enough in their mouth to draw the milk down using the flat of the tongue against your boob, not just pulling on the nipple. So you're aiming for a good big gob full. It gets easier as they grow obviously but at the beginning you just aim to get them on when the mouth opens wide. Good luck

This is useful to explain latch as well.

www.cartoonkate.co.uk/how-to-feed-your-baby/

Bertie that link is amazing!

Please give breastfeeding a go if you can. It's got such good health benefits for you both! It can be hard, I know, I've been there but if you can persevere through any initial pain it's so worth it! And IMO easier to stick a boob in when you have a toddler in tow than make up bottles.

There may be a breastfeeding peer support group near you where other mums can give tips? Good way to meet some new people too! Your midwife may know of some groups or the hospital may have a breastfeeding specialist who holds a clinic every week.

I think the link between poor sleeping and Bfing is overplayed. Yes, it's more easily digestible so baby will feed more often than a FF baby but it seems to really depend on the baby.

My first was a great sleeper from the start (although we did give a bottle of formula in the evening). Second terrible sleeper, still at 6 doesn't need as much sleep as DC1 and third is a combination of the two.

Having said all that if it doesn't work out we are very lucky in the country to have clean water for formula. Crack on with the bottle if necessary.

I thought it was normal for a baby to lose some weight initially?

That aside, have you considered pumping? I'm planning on both BF and pumping so my husband can help with feeding.

The midwife sounds very unhelpful!

All going well I'll BF with the occasional bottle - with DS he was BF-ed for most feeds except 7pm where we have him a bottle. I think I'll try the same this time (all going well) except maybe make the FF the dreamfeed at 10pmish so I can go to bed early!

I think it's good to BF if you can, though I'm not militant about it - it doesn't need to be all or nothing, I think even a couple of BFs a day are good. (Selfishly I'm hoping BF goes well this time round as we're travelling long haul at 12 weeks and BFing will be so much easier on a long flight than faffing around with bottles!)

BF is amazing when you are flying. Anytime baby is upset you stuff then up your top and then peace perfect peace

I was flying last week, lots of crying babies ( school hols obv) and it vividly brought back flights with mine like it was yesterday ( it was 9 years ago when I stopped feeding the last one ).

I found that although it can be tricky to get Bf established, you get your reward later as it’s SO much easier than bottles when they are older babies and toddlers. I would never do mixed breast and bottle unless I had to for work / health reasons, it’s twice the faff.

Just my opinion.

Wow thanks for all your amzing advice and help. I will try and find a group that i can go before hand. I guess you just don't no until the babies here. Like one person said i will be taking my 3 year old into account as it is important that it all fits with her. My friends bf baby has been sleeping through from about 8 weeks and is breast fed although offered formula before hand which sometimes he takes. So i guess who knows. Im just paranoid about my areolas and how tricky it was before

I had a similar experience with my first. I ended up mixed feeding for 3 months then bottle feeding. I really didn't make a good job of breastfeeding. I didn't understand it properly - didn't know about cluster feeding for example.

With my second I was much more confident. I probably went a bit overboard and fed her every time she whimpered but it worked out well and I fed her for 18 months. I had a bit of oversupply too so I expressed the fast letdown at the beginning into a muslin.

I did end up co-sleeping though as she wanted to feed a lot during the night and I kept falling asleep sitting up with her. When I co-slept she just lay alongside me and fed whenever she wanted.

Honestly try and stop worrying about your areolas. I have big areolas and there’s no way mine were getting it all in their mouth, and I’ve BF 2 successfully. If you have a BF cafe nearby then I’d recommend going along to it.

The sleep thing is a myth. Mine was b/f and always slept like a dream. Also you’re not up prepping bottles in the night and Oxytocin (hormone that produces milk ) makes is a relaxant and makes it easier for you to drop back to sleep. Not all women will have all the Areola in the babies mouth so I’m sorry you were misinformed by midwifes. Usually if a latch is good more of it will be visible above the top lip than below so watch out for that rather than the whole thing disappearing. The other thing that was a massive plus for me was all the money you save. I just can’t believe the cost of formula. Most parents I know spend at least £40 per Month. After a year that’s enough for a holiday or what I spend on my membership to a nice gym/pool which I love and is my wind down time.

I bottle fed twins first after not managing to breast feed. Then I had one who I breast fed and co slept with. Breast feeding is sooooo much easier, way more sleep, much happier baby.

I bottle fed twins first after not managing to breast feed. Then I had one who I breast fed and co slept with. Breast feeding is sooooo much easier, way more sleep, much happier baby.

I would keep an open mind and see how things go. If you plan to bf, you can always switch to ff. But it’s harder to switch to bf if you ff to start and change your mind.

My experience with my first was very much like yours. 12% weight loss in the first 48 hours and low blood sugar. We had to be admitted to hospital for 5 days and it was awful. She struggled to gain weight and only regained birth weight at 26 days. I had multiple bouts of mastitis and rounds of antibiotics. I ebf for 6 weeks but then had to start combi feeding because I developed what I now know was nipple thrush (at the time GP and lactation consultant both said it wasn’t so wouldn’t treat). All the skin peeled off my nipples and areolas and I had to stop because I had just these big weeping bleeding wounds and couldn’t latch her on. It was horribly traumatic. I also thought maybe I should just ff from the start this time because I didn’t want to go through that again.

Fast forward to now, my 2nd is 8 weeks old. I decided we would give bf a shot but I was prepared to ff if it didn’t go well. I didn’t think it was even possible to have such a vastly different experience than my first. He latched on from day 1 with no issues at all. I needed no bf support, we were just off and running. I did harvest colostrum and had several syringes of colostrum and have him about 1-2 a day as top ups in addition to bf the first 5 days (which I think helped a lot). He only ever lost 5% and was back to birth weight before 10 days. I did get thrush again but I knew what it was this time (exactly same as last time when they told me they didn’t know what it was!) and I demanded treatment. It was a bit annoying but that’s it. The first 2-3 weeks were tough, but after that, totally fine. 8 weeks in, bf truly is easier than ff for me and I’m so glad we gave it a go. I had no idea it was possible to have such a positive experience after the hell we went through last time.

I’m ter of sleep, it really is much more about the baby you get and not how you feed. My first who was ff from 6 weeks woke every 2-3 hours at this point and even after she dropped night feeds, didn’t sleep through til she was 3! My 8 week old who is ebf has slept 4-6 hour stretches every night for the past month. He’s just made that way, I think and has nothing to do with what I’m feeding him.

So that’s a long way of saying if you can, I would give it a go. You can always switch to ff if you want, but it may end up being much easier than you expect. Having everything go so well this time has also been really healing for me. I no longer feel the the guilt and sadness about my first experience because things have gone so well this time.

I think sleep is luck of the draw and not much to do with how you feed.

My first was preterm and never managed to latch. I gave her expressed for 6 months then formula after that. She was a terrible sleeper. She didn't start sleeping through until she was 2.

My second is breastfed and is an amazing sleeper. He's almost 4 months, wakes once most nights but has slept through. He self settles and is generally a very happy and easy baby.

So I have exclusively expressed, formula fed and breastfed and find breastfeeding easiest by far. With a toddler to run after it's amazing to not have to worry about washing and sterilising bottles, warming and cooling bottles etc. Especially when we're traveling anywhere, all he needs is me and my boobs, it takes a lot of stress out of it.

Yeah i think that attracts me to try again that its easier with a toddler. Lots of great ideas abd encouragement. Good to hear ppls stories and that he might just latch. My friend mentioned that maybe my little one was tongue tied as she found it hard to latch

If you are undecided, I would really recommend combination feeding which we do with ours. We do 1 bottle a day in the evening and the rest is BF. It keeps your options open as you can drop the bottle if you want or have more than 1 per day if that suits. We have done this from day 1 and our DD sleeps through the night.

I would also encourage you to push your mw to support you more with bf and watch some youtube videos of latching. Other posters will be able to recommend resources.

Yeah I think I will prib have a bottle of formula u in the evening at the ready so hes used to both if breast feeding works

Doesn’t topping up with bottles when your baby is young affect your supply ? Because your body thinks your baby doesn’t need so much milk.