Just need someone to talk to

[Waterfountain97]

I'm 20 and having my first baby and currently living at home and my partner lives with his parents who apparently have said once our daughter is born I can move in because they are much more well of than my family and their house is bigger and that way me and my partner can raise lo together but obviously because I haven't directly heard this from my mother in law I feel really unorganised . I'm 27 weeks tomorrow and just want to start sorting out baby's room slowly and hanging her clothes ect up and because I don't know whether I'm coming or going ( literally ) my head is fried 🤦🏻‍♀️ I did want to live here with my baby for the first month or so ( at home) but my 16 year old brother has awful behaviour problems ( not diagnosed) so he's just not a very nice boy and he's dangerous smashes the house up daily punches holes in doors and shouts at the top of his lungs so obviously I will not put my daughter in that situation. It's only been the past 3 months his behaviour has gotten to this point and we don't know why. ...sorry if this all seems so confusing and pointless ladies, my partners family are lovely and I know we would have an amazing life until we have enough money for our own place. I had to stop working due to recurring kidney stone symptoms and I lost my job ect but anyway me and his family haven't really got a 'bond' so I don't eat them to feel that because my house is dangerous they have no choice but to take me in as that is awful for them! honestly ladies I really don't know what the point in this is but I have no one to talk to and it's stressing my oh out whenever I bring it up 😔 Basically should I just start preparing life here for the baby I.e redecorating my room which will be shared with baby as it's big and building her wardrobe or do I wait to hear from his mum? I just feel like an awful parent for not even knowing where I will be going home from the hospital

Could you get in touch with his mum for a chat and ask what the situation is?

Do you not all speak when you go round there to visit? Your partner needs to step up and sort this out with his mum too not just bury his head in the sand. Can you get your own place together?
If it continues I would make your own plans tbh whether that's ensuring you and your daughter are safe where you are living or move out.

@elmo1980
He's a great guy he really is works he arse off at work but he really does just bury his head in the sand I know it probably the age but we are arnt going to get anywhere if he doesn't talk to her all he said about 2 weeks ago was ' my mum said not to say anything as she doesn't want you to have the weight in your shoulders but she would be happy for you to move in with baby as that way she knows she would be safe' and that's it? Nothing else has been said and obviously I know I still have 13 weeks but it's going fast recently as it is so I'm really feeling the need to know what's going on , and because I'm not working at the moment due to my lovely boss giving me the boot because I had to have a few weeks off due to illness it's only his income which is around £2,000 a month and he feels that could cover rent and bills ect. Obviously I will be going back to work as studied 3 years at college to be in the fire service so will all happen in time but as of yet that's our situation and just want to know where I'm living when she's here😔 And I don't want to just approach his mum as I'm scared I know that sounds fucking pathetic

@Colonelpopcorn
I'm to nervous ! I know that sounds pathetic but i really am I feel he needs to sit with his mum and say she will happily move in with baby and then that way she knows what's happening ( mother in law) and me and her can sit and discuss it further

I think it's odd that his mum has supposedly said not to say anything to you - you have to know where you are going to be living. I get that you might feel uncomfortable speaking to her directly but ifnyou don't and your partner isn't going to so anything you can't assume anything. I would start getting things ready for where you are so at least you have a back up if the plan doesn't come through but would keep stressing to your partner that you need to know for sure.

Next time you're round there you just need to say 'hi xxx, boyfriend said you've suggested I move in here when baby is born. Is that true? It's very kind and I wanted to make sure he hadn't got the wrong end of the stick or anything.'

Your baby needs you to get over any nerves and ask the question.