Want to press ‘pause’ and just be normal for a while!

[pandarific]

It’s not all meant to be feelings of sunshine and roses, right?

I’m 11 weeks and told work today - my poor manager; though he was nothing but lovely to me I know he was gutted. He’s been moulding me, we’ve got targets, he works like a dog and I’ll only have been there 11 months when I go on leave. I feel guilty, even though I know I shouldn’t, even though I work really hard, they’re happy with me and big boss has come over and been nice too.

Also - we live in a tiny 1 bed flat we’ve been slowly doing up for the last 3 years. It’s up two flights of stairs, people keep sucking their teeth and going ‘ooooh, you’ll need to move.’ Ugh, I know, I know! But I don’t want to think about it, I’m tired and stressed just imagining it. Three years in this bastard flat and it’s still half done and now we’ve got to move. Also IDK how to buy a property, I moved in with DP now DH - what if we buy something and brexit torpedos the value 4 months later?

ALSO, I need to pass my bloody driving test which would be easier if my instructor would stop going on about how the test is soooooo hard now. Sooooo hard, apparently. This morning he told me a student of his was failed for driving through a puddle. A bloody puddle!!

Also, I know nobody my age with a baby, all people with 8 year olds. I know no babies at all. WTF arrrrggh.

And the cats, what about the cats?! They’re going to HATE this. (This one’s mostly a joke, but they really are going to hate it.)

But seriously, anyone else occasionally wish that they could just press pause and take a little holiday from the whole beng pregnant thing and on the cusp of MASSIVE TERRIFYING LIFE CHANGE. Maybe just go out and have some wines and wake up in the morning with a nice hangover and eat some toast and bask in things being normal?

Because I feel like that would be nice, just for a day or two. *End grump.

I could have written this post! I'd have been at my job 6 months when I go on leave (that's just tough for the company I guess and how things work out, you shouldn't feel guilty for having a baby, atleast you'll get statutory mat pay when you leave, unlike me, eeek). I also live in a one bed flat up two flights of stairs (I'm due any day now eeek!). However there will be 3 and a half of us living there (dh has his daughter stay 2/3 nights a week). If you think you'll be fine in your flat for a bit then I guess there's no harm in staying, we're planning on buying in about 18 months or so, just to up our savings! I also only passed my driving test a few months ago, it's honestly not that bad :-) have faith amd ignore your bloody driving instructor! I passed 3 Rd time....and crashed my car the week before passing my test! 😁 I also know no one with babies (theyre still all at the clubbing stage!) So I guess I'll just go meet new mummy friends 😁 don't let peoples opinions and unhelpful comments stress you out, things will work out in the end! We've made room in our little flat but yes a pause button on life would be great! You'll be fine x

Honestly my cats didn't give a shit. Well one was a bit grumpy but mostly they ignored the new useless being in their midst :)
My oldest is nearly a teen but yes I remember wanting a day or two off from being pregnant to smoke, drink and sleep and just be me. It's quite normal! I'd never had to adult for more than a working week before.

Oh god thank you for being nice - I was dreading getting a load of judgy comments!

I’m knackered, I just want everything to bog off and leave me alone.

Maybe just stop worrying about what other people think and enjoy it? Who cares what anyone else thinks. I understand what you’re saying but this is hard for me to read after ttc for almost 2 years and 1 miscarriage. Be grateful.

Sigh, I can relate... I'm 8 weeks pregnant and so much needs doing and sorting out before this baby comes. I've got two big dogs and I'm terrified of how I'll cope with them and a newborn (DP will be away with military stuff not long after baby arrives) our entire house needs a revamp, the garden needs sorting, and like you I've not been at my new job for long and I'm currently off sick so that's all a bit awkward.
I'm a worrier at the best of times so right now I'm just a wreck

@pandarific
I hear ya
We're in the process of selling my house, to love properly in my partners house. We get married in June, and in September we move onto the Army properly, 200miles away 😂. Folk are like "ooh you've got a lot on this year". And we are like "great bants, cheers hadn't noticed
With the work thing too. Similar. At age 32 I've finally found myself in my perfect job. I really hope I can come back, but don't know if I ever will be able to (for the above mentioned) . Gutted and it was the hardest decision ever to try, even though logically as my partner will become deployable again in 5 yrs, it makes sense.
Things never happen at the "right" time. I think this is compounded by us bloody women wanting a life too these days - driving, having a career, having to adjust from everything!
I wish you all the best. Would your flat not be ok for a little while? You'll get super fit carrying the littlun up and down!

Ps. I am also both excited, and massively terrified. But I think that's OK right, it being the biggest life change you'll ever make?

Be grateful.

Er, no? My feelings are mine and not for you to police. It was abundantly clear from the title of the thread that I’m having a bitch about being pregnant - perhaps not purposely reading such things if you’re struggling with infertility might be a good idea?

wigglewigglywoo bit harsh there. I ttc for not quite two years and had a miscarriage too, I’m now 11 weeks pregnant same as OP, and I feel similar. It’s fucking hard work being pregnant. I feel grateful and lucky, but it’s also shit and the OPs feelings are valid, they are HER feelings. The title is clear what the post is about, you knew that before you pressed it.

Oh for gods sake @FranticallyPeaceful. I’m allowed to have feelings and express them in a semi-serious way, I don’t appreciate being told to ‘be grateful’ - which essentially means ‘shut up’.

I’m sorry if I was too harsh to @wigglywigglywooo and yes I should have been kinder. But I was actually mindful of those who might be struggling when I made this post and purposely made it really clear from the header what it was about. Not thoughtless!

I’m sure as hell not identifying with what I perceive to be how you’re ‘supposed’ to feel. I’m tired, I’m freaked out, I know no one like me in my situation, I’ve got a million and one things to do at work and decisions about property and holidays and money and best friends weddings and hen dos and moving and all of the crap of everyday life which is now made more complicated by my pregnancy and yes I would like a day or two free from thinking about it all. I don’t think that’s abnormal, going by the other posts here.

Completely get wanting to hit the pause button @pandarific

We're mid massive house renovations after half the house decided to start sinking, hayfever season has just landed, and the future appears full of heartburn, snoring and ongoing bouts of vomiting. I'd love to just fast-forward this bit and get straight to delivery and the point where I can eat a rare steak again.

Ultimately it's like every big life event. No matter how much you wanted it and how much you enjoy it overall, bits of it are going to suck, and it's okay to complain about those bits.

For those who find it triggering to read about others' conflicting feelings about their pregnancy, it is entirely possible that hanging out in the Pregnancy Forum is going to hit those triggers repeatedly. Practise some self care and head elsewhere.

No OP, you made it really clear that this thread was about pregnancy. PP could have not clicked, or not commented. You are entitled to feel as you do because you are going through a major life transition, in the same way anyone dealing with infertility is going through a major life transition (albeit more negative) and is entitled to post about how they feel without people posting: be grateful for having the money to afford the internet, some people in the developing country don’t have access to that!

With regards to imminent babies though (back on track!!) I just bought a five door car because of the number of people sucking on their teeth when they saw I had a three door! And we are also a military family, due posting next year when baby will be going into childcare as we are both in.. but have no idea where to put down to get on waiting lists! Somehow I’m also envisaging my dog being real put out too... aaaaaagh

Need to stick up for OP for this one, it took me 3.5 years of TTC and 7 rounds of IUI to make it to this stage (19w pg) and while I am unbelievably grateful for the LO growing inside me, being pg is really hard and I would love to have a break from it sometimes. It doesn’t mean I don’t recognise how fortunate I now am, it’s just human nature

I completely agree! I'm 12 weeks and had a complete strop trying to find any clothes to fit. I'm already really round. We are also mid house renovation and I'm bloody bored of feeling like shit everyday. Even the stairs are hard work.

And to those saying we should be grateful, that's really not very nice. I appreciate your struggles but there should also be enough room to seek some support when you need it. There are other parts of Mumsnet.

And yes - I'm also waking up in blind panic about how much things are going to change. Mind blowing...

No longer pregnant (4 months postpartum) but can definitely relate to this! I felt like this a lot during pregnancy - had been with my employer 10 months when baby was born, live in a flat two flights up, how will the guinea pigs cope, etc. It was constant then but honestly I feel like this a whole lot more now! 😐

I think you have mistaken the tone of my message. You have read it in a way like I’m having a go at you? I’m saying be grateful, like be happy, just enjoy it?

So to all those have attacked me for it...thanks!

I can read posts in any topic I like (thanks to those concerned) and also have the freedom to comment on any post. It makes me sad that people automatically think my message was an attack. I understand that with text, meaning doesn’t always come across.

Don’t stress about the little things, who cares about things you can’t change? Just enjoy you’re pregnancy and please don’t wish it away.

Wishing all of you healthy happy babies x