Scared

[Wiggle4]

Hi all,

In September last year, my tiny son was born stillborn at 22 weeks, I had severe early onset IUGR, no cause-just dysfunctional placenta.

I just found out on Sunday that I am pregnant again, I guess around 4 and a half weeks. I am absolutely terrified that it will happen again and spend every waking minute worrying about what may or may not be happening in there.

Anyone else felt the same following the loss of their baby? Any advice?

TIA

Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy but I’m so sorry to hear that you are feeling so scared. Although I have never experienced such a late loss as yours I have had 4 earlier losses that left me feeling very traumatised and terrified during this pregnancy. My husband posted our scan photo on Facebook and I was fuming and mortified because I don’t want people saying nice things as at times I feel like I just can’t enjoy being pregnant but as the weeks go on I’m starting to get my head round it.
I’ve been having counselling and I have found it useful. Could you try this?
All I can say is I get it. The chances of going through what you went through before are slim. I wishe you all the best. Xxx

Hi @Wiggle4, firstly sorry to hear of your prev loss, it really is terrible and I know no words can help. But also congrats on your new pregnancy.
I had to reply as your story really is close to mine.
I don’t have words of advise but I can relate. I lost my fist at 28weeks in Dec also due to IGUR caused by placenta/flow issues. I am also now Expecting again 4+3.

Have you spoken to your consultant yet? I assume you will get early scans. I am currently waiting on my letter to advise scan date and have found even that helped as it’s all I can do at the moment.

It is so scary but , Fingers crossed for healthy pregnancies this time.

Thanks @aetw, I have recently completed counselling following the bereavement of our baby but as we closed, she said it was clear there was still a lot of anxiety there and she felt I needed a different form of counselling to manage my high levels of anxiety - yes we certainly won’t be posting on social media and will be keeping it a secret from all for as long as we possibly can this time!

@MissMickyD, sounds like we are in very similar positions! I’m sorry to hear of your loss, sounds like it was the same cause as ours. And congratulations to you also! Fingers crossed for us this time!
I have contacted the consultant and they will see me at 8 weeks to date the pregnancy and hopefully get a prescription for aspirin but another 4 weeks seems such a long time!

I’m so sorry. I almost lost one of my twins to undiagnosed IUGR - it was purely luck that it was discovered he was not moving and I had an emcs right away.

I’m hoping that you will be placed under your local community midwife time and the perinatal mental health team. You should get a huge amount of support, as well as frequent scans and consultant led care. I’m not sure if your GP could refer you to the perinatal MH team now - they don’t normally see people this early but given your history they might be flexible.

Wishing you all the best

Thanks @TammySwansonTwo. I have filled in my self-referral for community midwife team and I guess they may be the ones to refer to MH following booking in? First consultant appt at start of May.
My GP is fairly useless otherwise I would see them.

Thanks wiggle,
I have been advised that it is very uncommon to have the same issue again(although it happened before so...) therefore I am telling myself not to worry until I’m told there is something to worry about. I would hate to get through this one and look back knowing I doubted every step.

It is easier said than done but we have to stay positive.