Are any of these must haves?

[Flyingchimps]

Hi all,

We have started getting ourselves ready for baby’s arrival and have made most of our significant purchases. We’ve tried to steer clear of gizmos but want to gauge opinion as to wether we have missed the boat on some of them:
*sleepyhead (I don’t really understand what this is for!)
*Next to me (we have a Moses basket and baby box so unsure why we would need this)
*perfect prep/breast pump- I intend to breastfeed so we figured we would just see if that works out first then purchase one or other of these
*ewan/my hummy mummy- again I don’t really understand why we would need one
*video monitor- we figured baby will be in our room to begin with then we can pick up a sound monitor when it goes into its own room.

Would anyone suggest we have really missed the point and should have purchased some of these items. We keep seeing them everywhere! Just looking for opinions I guess!

Is a next-to-me a 3 sided crib you can have up next to the bed, so the crib is level with the bed?

If so, the only thing I would say to get from your list is the next to me. If you're BFing it may well buy you more sleep, which is the most valuable thing of all when you're a new mother! It also supports BFing.

Basically, a lot of things we buy for babies are substitutes for our own bodies, because we live in an artificially constructed modern world, but the baby hasn't got the memo it's the 21st century!

Most young babies basically want to be snuggled next to you (or another person), awake or asleep, at all times. And BFing loads. BFing is not just food, it also gives medicine (your body produces antibodies tailored to your baby) and comfort.

Our modern lives don't allow for babies to be constantly carried, especially as we don't live in community groups any more, so lots of the products that get marketed to us are substitutes for us. e.g. dummies, formula and bottles all breast substitutes.

Babies REALLY want to sleep next to us, and many want to be carried not put down a lot of the time. They're biologically programmed for this. Being close to you while they sleep helps them regulate their breathing, for example.

But, as this isn't exactly practical (and we don't have a community on hand to step in), we have products to help with this. Some are substitutes for closeness in sleep - e.g. baby monitors are a substitute for you being right next to them and responsive, cuddly toys for older kids as a substitute for closeness while sleeping, things that rock as a substitute for being rocked to sleep by the walking movement of a parent carrying them.

There are also things that work with the baby's natural instincts - so slings for example give your baby a way to be close, while you still can use your hands and be mobile. Three sided cribs are a compromise if you don't want to co-sleep, or feel nervous about trying it. It lets your baby be close to you. It also means you can feed lying down which - if it works for you - means more sleep.

WIth a crib (what I had with my 1st child), waking to feed in the night meant:

1. me stepping out of the bed
2. lifting the baby out of the crib
3. BFing (sitting or lying down)
4. Baby fell asleep. I stand up and VERY carefully lift and transfer to crib
5. Often my baby woke up when he felt the crib! Repeat steps 2 - 4
6. By this time I'm pretty well awake! Then need to get back to sleep

With a 3 sided crib (I had one with my second), feeding meant

1. gently slide the baby over to me
2. BF baby lying down
3. Baby fell asleep, then either:

4a. gently slide baby back to crib, close eyes, back to sleep 4b. OR both fall asleep together in bed, no worries about baby falling out as the crib is just there (need to research safer cosleeping guidelines if you want to do this)

The 3 sided cot might not seem too different from the basket or box, but it really is! I got much more sleep with the 3 sided cot, I recommend them to everyone!

If you have the money I'd consider looking at one that lasts a bit longer though as I think the next to me is just for small babies - is that right?

Sorry for essay! Hope it was useful.

I would recommend a next to me as a Moses basket will really only last you 2/3 months if you have an average to large baby. The guidelines are for the baby to stay in your room for 6 months and we didn't have room for his cotbed in our room so it was really useful. And it means you don't need to buy a travel cot.

We used a video monitor and a heart alarm which we found comforting but some people may say that is over the top!!

I bought a breast pump and I never got to use it. I hated Ewan and it didn't do much for my DD either. I purchased a Whizbear which was much better. We bought a swing chair which we must have used once.

We also had a snuz pod which DD refused to sleep in and would only sleep in her bassinet. I had a csection so the snuzpod made it impossible to get out of bed if by the side which slightly defeats the object!
The only thing that was a really good buy for when DD was older was a second hand jumperoo and sleep bags.

I second silvernutgoldenpear's post. It made a world of difference to my breastfeeding nights between dc1 (Moses basket) and dc2 (next to me).

I would say none of them are necessities now... however once baby is born you might find that some are necessities - if that makes sense.
For example DS didn't sleep in his next to me for the first 4 weeks, in fact he didn't sleep anywhere but on our chests. So to me, the sleepyhead was a necessity by that point . I would wait and see what baby is like but to answer your specific list:
sleepyhead - wait and see
Next to me (we have a Moses basket and baby box so unsure why we would need this) - unlikely you will need it if you already have alternatives, we only had it as it was bigger and would last until 6 months
perfect prep/breast pump- we bought a perfect prep and then I breastfed so it is sat in the loft - I would wait and see how feeding goes. Again for the pump they don't recommend pumping for first few weeks so see how BF goes
ewan/my hummy mummy- again I don’t really understand why we would need one download sound sleeper on your phone to see if baby even likes white noise - we had Ewan and it wasn't loud enough so we stuck with the phone
video monitor- technically if you follow the SIDS guidelines there is no need for one until 6 months

I got a perfect prep and it was a waste of time. I’ve just had to return it after finding the water smelled like a stagnant pond and finding black lumps in it. I carefully followed the cl among instructions and changed filter.. my baby went from refusing bottles, to draining them after I stopped using it.
All it does is add a bit hot water (questionable if it’s hot enough) then you add formula, then it adds cold water.
You can do this yourself by boiling the kettle and adding a few ounces of hot water to bottle, add formula and shake, then add cooled boiled water (which you can have stored in a bottle in fridge..)

I thought sleepyhead type things were a cot death risk now?

*follwed cleaning instructions

Also wouldn’t bother. Maybe invest in amazon prime, or just use the free month. I’m on my third baby and I’ve discovered babies REALLY don’t need much and I’m fed up of buying stuff I never use!

Just to add, we used none of these (except a breast pump) with our three, and got along just fine! Did borrow a breast pump at one point to try, then bought the same type second hand on Ebay, but didn't end up using it much.

Breast pump was needed as I had supply issues after being very ill.
Perfect prep was then needed as I could not continue to bf.
Ewen is still used twice daily at two.

Did not have the others.

The bedside cot was hands down the best thing we bought. I loved it. It certainly helped us all get the most sleep we could.

First time mum to be here and I have all those things 😂 except the perfect prep as I'm planning to EBF and don't want the temptation of even easier bottle making (although I do have bottles and will have a small amount of formula in just in case it doesn't work out)

I went with the Tutti Bambini CoZee instead of the Next2Me but essentially the same and got the Sleepyhead because so many swear by it and it will be good for sleeping during the day. I admit though, it is expensive.

Haven't RTFT...

I have a arm's reach co sleeper, which will work from birth to toddler bed (although she will be going on the floor on a normal single mattress then rather than an actual toddler bed).

I have a poodle pod given to me second hand just recently (DD 9 weeks now) and so far it has been mostly used by me for sitting on whilst playing with DD on the floor. It is too restrictive for her when playing as she likes to kick and wave arms about. My dog isn't convinced by it as a dog bed either!!

My most used purchases so far have been...
tuppence and crumble star wrap, use every day so far, in sling, in car seat, around house when newborn and doing skin to skin (just nappy and starwrap). It's great, you don't have to wrestle arms and legs in and out of it. I had to buy a second one so that we could have one on and one in the wash! I have already bought 2 more in the next size (all eBay bargains).

Thermos mug with lid (metal lined so drink doesn't taste of plastic)... No more microwaved tea!

Ergobaby carrier, which I use every day for dog walks, really comfy and supportive for both of us, however the newborn insert is a bit of a faff ( also have a Moby wrap but DD is not a fan of having her head tuck in it in the newborn hug hold so it has had to be put away for a bit). I have barely used the battered £10 travel system I have, but it is useful for the rare occasions I pop into down, when getting DD in and out of the ergo multiple times is not ideal.

Honestly you’ll say what is the point now (I did) but if you’re like me and my antenatal class you’ll end up buying all sorts of crap on amazon prime afterwards as you’ll either a) realise things you couldn’t before ie Moses basket so low it’s hurting your back or baby just doesn’t like it or b) just out of desperation Moses baskets are fine but they grow out of them so quickly, we got 2 maybe 3 months max out if ours. I didn’t feel safe moving her in it (and think you can’t in any event with short handled ones) and I didn’t like her sleeping in it overnight as the mattress wasn’t very firm or flat as per advice. So we mainly used crib upstairs (cosier than cot but bigger and more longevity than moses basket).

I would def get a breast pump - I didn’t and on day 4 midwife said right you have loads more milk than you’re baby wants you need a pump now or you’re at risk of mastitis. I hand expressed but it was not enough. I only really used it in easily days (just enough for relief no more and not a full feed or to empty breast as you mess with your supply) just a tommy yippee manual for less than £20. I hope you have lansinoh nipple cream and details of local bf group or private lactation consultant as HCP are not very good with this or are strapped for time. A little nightlight for night feeds with dim lighting so you don’t wake baby up but can see your matching etc (you’ll only need that at beg then baby will sort itself out).

I recommend morrck blankets for car seats - hero product when you can’t put pramsuit on them as too bulky to be safe in car seat but cold and don’t want blankets falling off or to fight to put a hat on.

www.morrck.co.uk/

*your baby

and latch not matching!

@Thissameearth that’s terrible advice from your midwife regarding milk and baby. Completely backwards!
It works on demand meaning she would have made you produce more by telling you to use a pump! How strange of her to say that! Best thing to do is warm flannels. Baby has what they want and your boobs will stop making so much if the demand isn’t there

“I thought sleepyhead type things were a cot death risk now?“

No that is a different sort of product, and the sleepyhead is not intended for unsupervised sleeping anyway (though many parents do)

Ha frantically I’ve heard loads of rubbish or conflicting advice from HCP re bf’ing but that one was actually good for me in the circs - I was massively engorged and had hand expressed and used compresses etc but i still had big solid boobs and sleepy jaundiced baby that I was waking and pestering to feed but wasn’t so interested. She perked up and fed massss though. I’ve since had consultation with IBCLC and joined bf group, read motherly art and you’ve got it in you and extensively scanned Kelly Mom through the night bit in those early days had no clue, ebf for 6 months now and it’s like night and day from the start such a big learning curve and a lot of advice to seek and also ignore.

The only one of these I would suggest is the next to me, only because they grow out of moses baskets sooo quickly! We were advised to get a sleepyhead to make baby feel more secure in her cot, i decided to just see how good of a sleeper she was and get one if she really wouldn't settle (same with the ewan the sheep). Turns out she's a great sleeper so didn't need them and I figured that if we used them from the start she'd never go to sleep without them so we didn't want to start unnecessarily.
Also found that we didn't need the perfect prep machine either, they're great for in the night but we just leave a flask of hot water and the measured amount of milk upstairs and cool it in a bowl of cold water on the windowsill. By the time we've changed her its cool enough.
We also haven't got a baby monitor yet, she sleeps wherever we are so we don't need one, i think we'll just get one after 6 months when she goes into her own room. I was going to buy a breast pump as i planned to ebf but it never worked out so glad I didn't buy one. It's not recommended to express for the first couple of weeks anyway so you'll have time to get one if you need one.

I had none initially.

When I went back to work part time we got a hand pump. Used it a bit, say from 6 to 8mo. This is not urgent, you have ages to buy it.

We got a white noise machine as a present and used it. I would not buy it for myself. White noise is great but 1) youtube has videos of the type "10 hours of rain sounds", and 2) you own a hairdrier and a hoover, don't you?

Sleepyheads have been in the news as dangerous. I haven't read up on it as we were not using them, but if you're planning to cosleep look up UNICEF safe cosleeping guidelines. (Good news - no equippment needed for it, other than maybe warm pajamas for you as you have to ditch the duvet).

“Sleepyheads have been in the news as dangerous. I haven't read up on it“

Not sleepyheads. A different product.

I have everything except a video monitor, I've never really understood why I'd need one. I do have a Snuza Hero though, which is a monitor that clips to the baby's nappy and goes off if it stops sensing movement for 20 seconds. It makes me feel a lot happier, especially now my DD is in her own room. I only have a next2me because someone lent me it, I don't think I'd have bought one if not.
Ewan hasn't been a hit in my house and I rarely switch it on. I love my perfect prep machine - when I had my first daughter 7 years ago I remember desperately trying to cool a freshly made bottle down whilst she screamed, or making up 6 bottles at a time and microwaving from the fridge later. It's so good to be able to make one on demand, I'd 100% recommend.

We had a snuzpod, a cocoona baby - both excellent. We also had a Ewan as a present from work. I had a perfect prep when I started combo feeding from 6 months (breast fed up until then). I had a breast pump which meant I could express and DH coukd do a feed in the morning and give me a lie in (essential ). I found a bath seat was useful- I never got the hang of grasping a wet baby whilst to wash them before they can hold their head up.

Congratulations on your pregnancy