At what point can I get excited?

[Mamabooksbabynumber2]

Hi everyone,

I am 5+2 And I read so often about how it's early days. My best friend said the same and my partner doesn't want to tell many people until 12 weeks.
At what point can we all just be excited and not worry?
Is it once we have the 12 week scan? That's so long away I'm not sure I can keep schtum and not look at baby things till then. Anyone else desperate to get excited about also feeling like you can't?

Hi
Firstly congratulations! It is a very exciting time. The chances of survival are much much higher after 12 weeks - that's why most people keep quiet until then. Unfortunately as you will see from this forum pregnancy is always a bit scary - the 20 week scan may show anomalies that are life-threatening. I'm not buying anything until the 20 week scan - I have looked and got a list ready but I'm not buying anything.
The chance of everything being fine are good - I don't want to put a dampener on your excitement. I would also say though that 40 weeks is a long time - you might want to pace yourself a bit just to pass the time a bit!

When we're dead.

Seriously there's always something to worry about during pregnancy and raising kids.

Some people relax a bit at 12 week scan, others at the 20 week anomaly scan, others at viability at 24 weeks, others when survival rates go up at 28 weeks, others at full term at 37 weeks, others when the baby is out.

But you're still allowed to feel excited.

You and your partner need to agree an approach to telling people (for me and DH we told anyone we'd also be able to tell that something had gone wrong), but you can still be privately excited.

We told everyone at 7 weeks as we had to have an early scan (due to some bleeding), with our second one we told everyone at 5 weeks. We thought that we want people to know regardless, even if something went wrong.

Oh and I got excited straight away! I didn't start buying baby clothes until after the 20 week scan though, waited to find out the sex first.

I got excited with my three DC following the first scan which wasn’t always at 12 weeks ime (8, 11 and 13 weeks in fact). Just once I felt I had that ‘all clear’ that chances of survival were high.

I had two missed miscarriages last year including one after seeing the heartbeat on two early scans so now I am pregnant again I have tried to resist even thinking about the pregnancy in case it all goes wrong again . I haven’t told anyone except DP this time for fear of it all going to shit again... I probably won’t relax right throughout the pregnancy if all goes well but I will feel a lot safer if the 12 week scan shows all is ok.

I want to tell everyone now (at only 5+6) and it's so hard to not just shout it out to everyone, but then I know that it's still early days.

We've told parents and siblings though, but we feel that we want their support in case of any bad news anyway.

Its personal and different for everyone.
I had miscarriage at 12 weeks and we hadn't told anyone that we were pregnant. I then needed support and found it upsetting that we only ever got to share the bad news and never the happy. So the second pregnancy we told out close friends and family at 5 weeks - it felt fabulous sharing the happy stuff no matter what happened.

As for getting excited. I'm 38 weeks and still worry! Think I'll relax when my baby is in my arms.

With my other pregnancies I was excited from the moment I saw that line on the test.
With this one I'm a constant bag of nerves. At the moment it's the the 20 week scan which is terrifying me. Same with my next midwife appointment and if they can't find a heartbeat with the doppler.
I think I will finally be able to relax a bit and feel excited after the 20 week scan. But knowing me I will then focus on worrying about he baby being still born

For me I got excited after 25 weeks as that's when the baby is seen as 'viable' and as a baby medically. Also that's when movements start becoming more and more so you can feel baby is well.

I didn't tell anyone until 20 weeks ish after the scan. The 20 week Scan is the big one to check everything's ok so maybe hold off until then to tell people?

Also 40 weeks is a long time so the longer you keep it to yourself the shorter the pregnancy will feel! Defo try not to buy much until after 30 weeks as well.

This is my 2nd dc. My first was outted by my awful ex at 5 weeks so there was no keeping things secret or private. Everyone knew. I was alot less worried than I am this time but it was 9 years ago and I wonder if I am more worried the older I have got.

It's so personal. Once a heartbeat has been seen, a lot of people relax a bit. If you've suffered a loss before the whole pregnancy can be an anxious one though. It's very dependent on your own experiences and those close to you.

I suspect I am so excited to tell people because this time it is a more positive experience. I get to tell people this time and it is under much happier circumstances.

Congrats OP!!! I'd say if you can wait til after your scan then do so. I waited til my 12 week scan and bought 1 item a babygro or vest I think then waited til 20 weeks to buy another couple of coloured bits once I knew the sex.