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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Would appreciate honest opnions on 18 year age gap

13 replies

snowbake · 05/04/2018 19:13

Hello all :)
I am 35 years old currently 7 weeks pregnant with my second child. I had my first child when I was 17 so there will be an 18 year age gap when this LO arrives.
I am in a long term happy relationship and this pregnancy was planned although it has still come as a huge shock.

What was your experience with a huge age gap between children? Was it totally different the second time around? Easier/harder? Did you adjust well to massive change? I'm so used to my life with an older independent child I'm worried how I'll cope with starting all over again!

OP posts:

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SageMist · 05/04/2018 19:17

16 years between my two. 2nd was much easier because I was much more confident. They get on great.

FranticallyPeaceful · 05/04/2018 19:21

No personal experience but my friends little brother is 20 years younger and she’s basically his second mother! Absolutely adores him and completely in love.
Even though it’s a big age gap it has a lot of up sides. And their mother is great, really laid back this time around whereas she said first time was another story.

Good luck!

Honey456 · 05/04/2018 19:52

A bit different obviously but my little sisters are 11 years younger than me. I love our age gap and never felt competitive etc. we still have loads in common too!

Glug44 · 05/04/2018 19:58

I’m 13 years older than my youngest sibling. The only reason why my mum (also 35 when the youngest was born) could cope was because I was too young to have much of a life outside of the home. I did EVERYTHING for my sibling from nappies to bathtime to running around after them. I imagine, if I had been over 16 and had a life, mum would never have had such a good time of it. I still feel bitter about losing my teen years to raising my siblings.

BikeRunSki · 05/04/2018 20:30

I have a friend with 20 years between hers - she had them at 16 and 36. She says 26 would have been ideal! Her older (now nearly 30 year old) child has always been a very involved, hands on big sister, although had moved out to university by the time the little one was born. They get on like a house on fire, and are very to anyone who dares sugguest they are mother and son!

Sushirolls · 05/04/2018 22:49

I have 10 years between DC 3&4 I found it more relaxed as I was older (had my eldest at 19 & youngest at 34). My children were still close, and are now too x

upsideup · 05/04/2018 22:55

My DSD is 22 and my bio children our 10, 8, 4 and 3 and like somone said upthread she is like their second mum, she loves having little siblings and they all absolutely adore having an adult sister.
Having experiance as being a parent all the way through to adulthood already is going to be a massive bonus when starting from the beginning again, plus you have adult child who can help(if they want). It definately won't be as massive of a change as having your first child at 17.

MarieMorgan · 05/04/2018 23:01

21 years between my oldest and youngest. Youngest ds now 11 and gets on great with his sister. They've been playing online computer games all day today!

CobaltRose · 06/04/2018 08:18

My fiancé has a brother who's 14 years younger and a sister who's 17 years younger (his mum was 16 when he was born). They get along great!

ClareB83 · 06/04/2018 09:24

My friend has 11 years between DC1 and DC2 due to recurrent miscarriages. They get on really well so far. Youngest is now 3.

I think it's a big enough gap not to feel competitive and think the baby is cute rather than replacing you.

BoofayTheOompaLoompaSlayer · 06/04/2018 10:29

@snowbake, I am in the exact same boat with my eldest and soon to be youngest. We just celebrated my son's 18th on Wednesday. Baby is due at the end of May. I do have a 13yr old and a nearly 6yr old too, but there will be an 18 year age gap between my eldest and the baby.
My son was quite shocked at first, but now he can't wait to meet his newest little sibling.
I feel like I've been a mum to little ones forever, but I love it and wouldn't change a thing.
My 18yr old and 6yr old boys adore each other, and my eldest regularly looks after him if I need to pop to the shops, have an appointment or just want to go out when my 6yr old doesn't.
Eldest has a great social life, a part time job, is about to do his a levels and then head off to uni in October. But he still has time for his family.

Whatever your dynamics are, you can make it work!

Baubletrouble43 · 06/04/2018 18:03

My dd1 is 18 years older than my dds 2 and 3 ( twins) . It's a wonderful gap ( though she's away at uni in term time) and personally I've found motherhood much easier as an older mum despite the challenges of twins! I'm more chilled, in a better relationship, done it before and got ( slightly) more money and a better home which all matters. To me anyway! Congratulations xx

Oct18mummy · 07/04/2018 04:10

Hi I also have an 18 year gap. Had my first at 18 and now 10 weeks pregnant with my second at 36. My first who is now 18 hasn’t taken the news at all well so I am trying to deal with that. I really hope once this has settled down that the age gap won’t be a problem

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