How do you choose where to give birth if you can't see birth centres?

[SeeKnievelHitThe17thBus]

I had a midwife appointment this morning and asked about seeing the delivery suite of the 2 hospitals in our town where high risk pregnancies can give birth. I was told that you could no longer do so (we were able to do so 8 years ago when DS was born) because of infection control.

I've been told I can't have a home birth, or use a midwife led unit (blood pressure in last pregnancy, over 40 etc.) but I know that hospital 1, where DS was born, was under staffed and wards were noisy and over crowded - I was stuck there for 10 days. I have no idea what hospital 2 is like, and I now can't go and see it. I asked the midwife how I'm supposed to choose between them and she just said I'm down for hospital 1 and to let her know asap if I want to swap to hospital 2 so I see different midwives. She had no answer when I asked how I find out about hospital 2 - she said that she thinks parking is better at hospital 2 and it's all on one level "but midwives are midwives and consultants are consultants." Whatever that means.

I don't want hospital 1. I have no idea what hospital 2 is like. DH met a nurse from the maternity unit at hospital 1 in the park yesterday; the kids were all on a swing together. She said that hospital 1 has had millions spent on it and you'd just be blue lighted from hospital 2 to 1 anyway at the first sign of problems, although both supposedly have consultant led care and SCBU. So I have a choice of hospital 1, with no obvious upgrades from what I've seen of the ground floor at routine appointments, or the unknown.

I'm trying not to tell DH we're having the bloody baby at home but right now it feels like an option. I don't know where to go with this. I just want information. I want to know why I wasn't offered an ambulatory epidural last time when apparently both hospitals offer them. I want to know I can walk around and labour as I need to. I want to know why their policy is that you can't stay in the bloody bath after your waters break, I want to know that light levels can be amended and you have the right to quiet and not to be interrupted by the bloody woman with 5 family members (all of these were issues of the hospital stay last time), but I seemingly have no-one to ask for this reassurance so I can make the right choice for me. Does anyone know where I take this? I'm only 25 weeks, and so far have no health issues this time, so do have time to make decisions.

TIA.

In our area if your consultant based then water births etc are immediately out of bounds and the consultant led rooms are not shown down to infection control. What you can do is ask a nurse to walk round one and video it so you know what it looks like etc

I'm consultant led this time round the same as my first labour and loved the small room with ensuite bathroom - only difference of MLU and ClB is equipment and restriction of birth options.

Imho if you also look on YouTube for your hospital then sometimes they have videos up of the rooms etc.

Do either hospital offer ante natal classes? I did one at my hospital (and was shown round) but it would be an opportunity to ask questions seeing as your midwife doesn’t sound very helpful.

Which! also do a guide to where to give birth. Or even change your name if you’re worried about revealing location, and ask on a thread here for people’s experiences?

I found this which! Birth tool very helpful.
www.which.co.uk/birth-choice/where-to-give-birth

My local hospitals have video tours online too. It’s worth checking to see if you can find those...

Have you actually had any problems with this pregnancy? Because if you haven’t you could look at other birthing options & go over their heads.

I’m not over 40 but I had first birth induction consultant led, too much unnecessary intervention to second birth at home albeit consultant led he just signed off on it as they had no medical need to make me give birth in hospital.

I had a choice of two with my first child and tours weren't an option. I found that both hospitals had really informative websites though which helped me to decide-I plumped for the hospital which exclusively had private besuited rooms (thank goodness because I ended up in there for a week!)

What also influenced my decision was my husband's unease at one of the hospitals-it was his hometown so he knew a lot of stories and people who'd had babies there. Could you talk to anyone locally who's just had a baby? Maybe local children's centre might have a bumps and babies group to go along to?

Thanks everyone. I've looked at the Which? hospital pages for both hospitals. Both have higher cesarean rates than the national average for example, and hospital 2 is poorer in terms of infection control and both have fewer staff than average.

DH is keen to go for hospital 1 because his priority is to get the baby and I safely home and he feels they have more resources if anything goes wrong, but he also remembers how grim it was last time there but just sees it as a means to an end.

The midwife mentioned a parentcraft session, but I don't need parentcraft, I don't need to know about stages of labour, just assurances that I don't get stuck on a hospital bed in a brightly lit room again. I'll have a look on Youtube to see if anything's posted by the hospital. The Trust's website is somewhat dated and includes stuff like visting hours but not videos or information for prospective patients.

I've had no problems with this pregnancy so far, so I'm hoping it stays as is, and I get to go in for 10 hours then get the hell out again with a new baby. I know someone who's used hospital 2, and preferred it, but is 15 years younger than me and only had one birth where she had to stay in overnight, despite having 3 kids, so my guess would be that she got to use the facilities they've been me unworthy of and then got to go home.

I want to know why I wasn't offered an ambulatory epidural last time when apparently both hospitals offer them.

If your last birth was 8 years ago, perhaps things have changed? In any case, this doesn't affect your upcoming birth.

I want to know I can walk around and labour as I need to.

Can your midwife confirm this? I don't know why you'd need a visit for this.

I want to know why their policy is that you can't stay in the bloody bath after your waters break

Does it matter? If that's the policy, I doubt it will be changing for you...

I want to know that you have the right to quiet and not to be interrupted by the bloody woman with 5 family members

You don't I'm afraid.

Sorry to sound harsh. Birth is unpredictable and understandably you're trying to control it. But choosing hospital one over two or vice versa is unlikely to affect how things turn out either way. You can't control much in any hospital environment. The lights, yes probably, but other people's visitors on the post natal ward, sadly not. The only way to achieve this is plan for a homebirth, which you've said you don't want to do.

I think in your situation, I would go through a list of what is important to you with your DH and make sure that he is primed to advocate for your wishes on the day, whilst at the same time remaining realistic that essentially, everything is outside of your ability to predict and control.

Even if you get to see the delivery suite I am not sure it's going to necessarily answer all the questions you have.
You could happen to visit the unit at an exceptionally quiet time but it doesn't mean it would be like that when you are there.
You could call the hospital directly and ask if there is anyone you could talk to or have a look at their website.

I want to know why their policy is that you can't stay in the bloody bath after your waters break

There's hospital policy and then there's patient choice. You should tell your husband to back you up in your choices on the day.