Absolutely terrified of 12 week scan next week

[CathyandHeathcliff]

I have my first scan a week tomorrow and I'm terrified they'll find no heartbeat. I've had some spotting early on and some cramping which I mentioned to midwife and GP and was reassured it was normal for that stage of pregnancy.
I've taken multiple pregnancy tests since I found out, all come up with a strong line within seconds and now I'm diluting it because of the hook effect. Still coming up strong.
I have very little in the way of symptoms, some heartburn, tiredness and bloating. Sore boobs on and off, mainly when I first get up in the morning and feeling nauseous previously which has now faded. I'm so worried about it I keep thinking I'll have a panic attack when I'm there (I have a history of anxiety disorders). I hate hospitals at the best of times.

Please help reassure me. I'm pretty much convinced no heartbeat will be found. I don't know what to do. It all feels pointless even going to the scan.

OP
I was terrified at my 12 week scan too. I still can't understand why people pay for extra ones.

The way I tried to look at it was, the scan changes nothing. It just tells you a bit more information.

The worst bit for me was lying down & them finding the baby - I nearly had a heart attack when I saw DS1 was upside down (it's fine, they go all sorts of directions!) but once there was a flicker of a heartbeat it was a really uplifting experience.

All signs are good. Keep breathing. This is the first tough thing you have to do as a mum for your baby

@CathyandHeathcliff I was the same with DS and I'm the same this time for my scan on 20th April. Handhold and remember it's really rare to have a mmc, I've seen 1% listed on here but don't have official stats. Statistically you are likely to have a healthy baby!

However much I try to remember that I also am so worried for my next scan. I like @LastOneDancing 's advice about the scan not changing anything and just giving more information - I'm going to try and focus on that too!

I hope all will be well op - very likely it will be. 99% of pg that get to 12 weeks are viable and most spotting occurs in viable pg.

I was so scared that I cried as soon as I walked into the scanning room! The heartbeat was shown in a matter of seconds and the worry just left! It did ramp up again for the 20wk scan though! It's totally normal to be worried! I won't say 'stop worrying' but do focus on the moments after the scan when you feel that elation.
Congratulations!

I have my 12 week scan next week as well, and I'm also terrified! I had some very light brown spotting at six weeks, but nothing since. I haven't had any cramping, but am still terrified that there won't be a heartbeat! Even more bizarrely, I'm terrified there won't even be a baby there, and it'll have all been in my head! Crazy.

The logical part of me is saying I'm being silly, but pregnancy is such an anxious time. It's my first, so I'm doubly anxious. I'm sure everything will be fine. Good luck with your scan and post pictures of bubba when you get them!

cobaltrose - yep, I was sure that I had made it all up and there would be no baby too

Best of luck to you all for happy healthy scans please come back & update us.

You need to seek help for the anxiety. Pregnancy can be an anxious time but you need to work on the anxiety before you have a newborn to deal with and all the childhood illnesses etc.
good luck at the scan. Cramping and spotting can be completely normal. So can nausea fading. Or even never feeling sick.

Having no symptoms can be completely normal. I had nothing with my two DD’s and they’re absolutely fine.

I’m also filled with anxiety because I did have two MMC and the last one I only found out at the 12 week scan having had no real symptoms of miscarrying . They are incredibly rare though so I was hugely unlucky to have two. Fingers crossed everything is ok this time and that it’s ok for you too .

Thanks for all your comments.

I am seeking help for anxiety, but I've had it all my life.

I do hope they find everything is okay for me and all of you too x

I'm feeling really anxious again tonight, I know it's fairly irrational, but all I think I read everywhere is about MMC which is my worst fear. I've got another week to wait I'll be 13+5 by then, unless the scan measures me differently.

I know it's hard but try and stay away from reading about negative experiences. There is nothing to suggest your scan won't be a lovely experience. Try some deep breathing, distraction techniques and talk to someone about your fears. No matter how many times it takes, seek that reassurance. Have you got anything nice planned between now and your scan? x

Sending you big hugs, I suffer from anxiety too so I understand. As the OPs have said mmc’s are very rare. Is there anything you can do tonight to try and take your mind off it? Read a book? Play a puzzle game or something? That’s what I do to try and take my mind off things. It might also be a good idea to stop reading up on things, it has made my anxiety worse x

@ToriRay and @K0013 Thanks for your supportive words I know I need to stop reading negative stories, I'm my own worst enemy. I do it to reassure myself but it does the opposite. I haven't got much planned between now and then, only seeing a couple of friends.

No problem x Have you got Netflix? Maybe hunker down with some mindless box set! Just get through it anyway you can! No more googling! I once convinced myself I had something wrong with my prostate! After my mum picked herself off the floor laughing she informed me that I didn't even have a prostrate... the shame!

Haha ToriRay brilliant. And Netflix is a good shout I’m currently binge watching friends to get me through the night.

Designated Survivor is my current jam. Proper good escapism to stop the negative thoughts going round and round!

Oh will try that one next then!

Thank you all. I'll try and relax tonight (almost impossible).

Hi Cathy have been reading your thread and just wanted to say please try not to worry! I know it’s easier said then done im currently 15weeks and I worry all the time aswell. First scan went really well baby had a strong heartbeat but doesn’t take away that worry still knock or cramp i get i worry but worrying does absolutely nothing for you and takes away all the enjoyment of pregnancy. So I’ve learnt to just enjoy it but relax and remain humble aswell. This is my 3rd pregnancy I have a two year old and had a very early mc at 5weeks so I know it’s not easy trying not to worry but its the best thing and will do you good! Enjoy it 🤗 x

Every knock* sorry I cant spell tonight think i need glasses lol

I was terrified at my 12 week scan too and they were running nearly an hour behind. I think its natural to be worried and not sure if the hormones start giving you all sorts of paranoid feelings. I'm now 6 weeks with my second and i'm just as terrified this time round. I think it's your body's way of preparing you for the lifetime of worry as a parent haha. I'm sure everything will be fine and I will try and remember the advice about the scan just giving you a bit more information

Thinking of you op hope it went well