My mum has got shingles - should I see her?

[LucyK1978]

Help!! I would be really grateful for any advice or experience people can give me on this one!!

We live in Germany, and are due to travel back to UK on Saturday for a weeks holiday and catch up with all the family. I am 13 weeks pregnant, and my mum has just told me she has got shingles. We don't think I've ever had chicken pox, and so have no immunity against catching chicken pox from her shingles.

My mum's 'rash' is only very small, and is on her chest (under where her bra strap sits so very hidden). It is covered by a dressing and she has a special chemical hand wash to kill the germs after she's changed her dressing. I have read that someone who hasn't had chicken pox before can catch it from someone who has shingles, but only if they touch the rash. Shingles virus is not airborne like chicken pox.

I have spoken with a UK midwife and with my doctor here in Germany, and they both say I shouldn't see my mum.

My gut reaction is, of course, to agree with them, as the baby's health is far more important than an afternoon with the family and I'd never forgive myself if something went wrong. If I did catch chicken pox, there's a 1%-2% chance of affecting the baby - that's a very high 1 in 50 chance I'm not willing to take. Thinking of all the other precautions we take to keep our bumps safe against things with much lower risk, it seems like madness to take this risk. Sounds like I've already made my decision.

BUT we are both really looking forward to the trip and have got lots of stuff planned that would be a nightmare to rearrange. Mum says I should do whatever I think is right and she will understand.

So, do we:

a) Still go to UK, visit my parents but be VERY very careful not to touch my mum at all? Not very keen on this option as just sounds too dangerous, or am I being over cautious?

b) Still go to the UK but not see my parents at all. If we go for this option, should we also avoid my sister and her 2 year old neice who hasn't had chicken pox yet either (who live around the corner to my mum so see her very often)?

c) postpose the trip altogether?

My head and my heart are saying different things - priority number one is the baby, of course. HELP!!!!

No, no, no. Listen to the MWs they know what they are talking about. Not sure whether you should cancel your trip as thats up to you but def don't see parents or anyone whos been in contact with them.
Like you said- you and your baby are number 1.
XX

Hi Lucy - what a nightmare! I'd be very very careful, especially if you don't think you've had chicken pox. My MIL had shingles at Christmas and we stayed with her but apparently it was ok as I've very definitely had chicken pox.

Do you think you could actually travel to the UK without seeing your mum? It might be very difficult. I would think you'll have to avoid your niece as well if she's spent time with your mum??

If it was me, I think I'd postpone the trip as I couldn't go home without seeing my folks (I also live a long way home so I understand).

Sorry, that should have read, I live a long way from home

Thank you both for your messages - I am just so confused!!!

I know ABSOLUTELY the RIGHT thing to do is not see my mum or my neice.

I also know the EASIEST thing to do is still go to the UK but just not see them (this would actually be very difficult as we are quite close family), and keep all the other appointments and plans we have made and still have a nice week in UK.

But the most SENSIBLE thing to do is reschedule everything for a few weeks time, when I am past 16 week stage, when mum's shingles have gone and neice will have had chance for chicken pox to come out or not. But what a logistical nightmare trying to change everything!!!

Sorry I know I am answering my own question really and just venting frustration!!!

Okay, so I've just had a really good cry at the fact I'm probably not going to be seeing my mum at the weekend (not see her since February). Not got me any closer to a decision about the rest of the week, but at least now I'm not feeling so sorry for myself and my bumbling mess of hormones.

Is there some form of prophylaxis you might be able to take? I'm not sure if it would be appropriate at your stage of Pg, but might be possible to have antibodies or something? - mainly thinking of the rest of your pregnancy, if you haven't had it before.
I'm sure people will understand BTW if you decide to change the visit.
Good luck!

It's so difficult isn't it when you don't see your family that often? If you did postpone your trip, at least you'd be able to enjoy it more - safe in the knowledge that at least you and your baby wouldn't be at risk.

Oh what a difficult decision - I don't envy you... It did sound like you'd already made up your mind from the start though??