Why do people say such negative things?

[MamaMaiasaura]

Feeling a bit fragile today tbh as had a bit of a day yesterday. one of my sisters (whom i am nit really close too) called me yesterday. The firwst thing she screamed down the phone was 'I was so FRIGHTENED to call you as something terrible could have happened' had to ask who it was as totally non plussed. She then said because i hadnt called her about last weeks scan (didnt call anyone really and only speak to her a few times a year). Then she asked me about symptoms which i told her sore boobs and bit nauseous. She then said she had the same with her daughter up to the day she was born, then went on to say and the same with the ones till the day she lost them. Dont get me wrong I really feel for her about losing babies but I am really early days and I dont want to think about it.

To top it off I was walking back from school run with friend and she starts telling me about her sisters miscarraiges I know that it is a really sad thing but I dont want to think about it all tbh. Maybe I am being unreasonable but dp started fertility treatment for this lo and I just want to be positive.

Is it normal btw for boobs not to be 'continually' achy (I have already had a ds7) and also nausea comes and goes.

People seem to be obsessed with telling horror stories about birth, mc, etc. It's because they start thinknig about themselves, their PGs, etc. Usually there's no malice intended. You're completely allowed to say something on the lines of: 'I don't want any negative vibes just now, I'm sorry you/your friend had such a bad time, but I want to focus on the positive right now, thanks.' Anyone with any sense would respect that (you don't need to tell them anything that you feel is private, like your DP's treatment).

should have said dp & I - i am the one with the wonky body

poor you awen. this is the last thing you want right now! toadstool is right - sometimes people use your pregnancy as an outlet for their feelings. they don't mean harm but it is not pleasant! btw, i had on off pregnancy symptoms throughout (and panics!) and had a big healthy baby.

I used to hate this, everyone feel sht eneed to tell you what went wrong, how awful their birth was and any stray horror stories they can remember, as toadstool says you just have to say that you don't want to hear it, or do what I did and stop listening and start running through baby names and possible school nicknames for them, it's very distracting!

WRT feeling normal, this time and last time I was pregnant I went 2 or 3 days not even feeling pregnant, and then have a week where I am aching and sick, it does come and go, depends on what you eat, how you sleep, how stressed you are as well as random hormones!

that was 'feels the need' by the way

Chirpy and nicky - that is reasurring re the symptoms. As stupid as it sounds I thought that all the neg vibes could be havinga effect

I have said, to firned today ' sorry but I really dont want to hear anything negative about pregnancies'.. she seemed ok and then mentioned again

tis fine - my typing pretty bad at times.. and am used to reading cods posts too

Doesn't sound stupid, sounds like perfectly normal pregnancy worrying to me

Negative stories will make you think more about your symptoms purely because you will worry, tell them all to naff off.

One time my boss started to tell me about her nightmare birth I burst into tears and sobbed 'Please shut up, I can't bear it'

Now I am not recommending that, but it worked!

the thing with pregnancy is that half the worlds population experience it yet we want to make generalisations! i'm as bad as the next person, but i tried really hard to focus on the positives. the vast majority of pregnancies in the western world have a happy outcome. don't worry about your thinking having an effect on your pregnancy - if that was the case none of us would have gone full term!!

unfortunately this is what people do, I am now 26 weeks but the moment I announced I was preg all I heard about was other peoples horror birth stories, piles, sickness, scares, skin problems, hair falling out - list was endless!

I just smiled and nodded and occassionally just walked off (the main culprit was a woman with such a thick skin this wasnt taken badly)

OMG - this is just summimg up how I am feeling at the mo. I'm nearly 17wks, have had 3 mc myself due to genetic thing I carry (have had the all clear in that respect for this pg) and my MIL has really upset me this morning by telling me how this is the stage she mc. Arrrgghhh! Don't want to know - trying to be positive and not fret as it is.

Agree with all the other posts tho - don't think people intend to pss on yr bonfire.. in my case my MIL is well meaning (she's basically reminding me to take it easy etc) but it just ends up creating more stress and tension.

Dunno about you Awen, but I also think that because of the extra hassle, heartbreak and stress to get to this stage of pg, my MIL feels even more inclined to say stuff like this - she actually said last week that if anything happens with this pg and it goes wrong - I'll never be this lucky to concieve genetically healthy child again