Due in one week.. advice?

[hiddlehihiddleho]

Due in 7 days.. Could I ask what was one thing you wish someone told you before you became a mother? Any advice welcome, on everything and anything- thank you x

That it's ok to not be ok sometimes.
The first few days are intense , hormones all over the place.
You might not get that amazing , magical moment when they are first put in your arms but at some point you will look at that baby and cry because you love them so much it hurts your heart.
I wish I would've believed people when they told me that I would just "get it" and I would somehow just know what to do.
At some point you will be covered in a lot of your child's bodily fluids and that funny smell is probably you

I haven't been a mum for very long but my I've become everything I didn't think I would, I LOVE being a mum more than anything in the world.

Good luck and congratulations!

Trust your body and trust your instincts.

That's pretty much it from me

Don't push yourself too hard after delivery. You'll recover better if you give your body a chance.

Not everyone feels a rush of love immediately. For some it is just slightly delayed and that is okay.

Good luck!

I was surprised how ‘pregnant’ I looked after delivery - a very flabby 5 months pregnant! I also had hugely swollen feet! I felt rotten. After ds2 I knew what to expect so was much more chilled about it all.

Every time you pass the kitchen get yourself a cold drink and put it next to the chair you feed in. You'll get thirsty and hungry if you breastfeed.

That you may get irrationally angry when busybodies tell you how to look after your baby. If this person is someone you don’t like anyway, the rage will be double.

This is a normal instinct to protect your baby. Take notice if it and weed these people out of your life.

Marking - also due in a week and love this thread!

Don't be pressured to 'spend time away from your baby' - like it's something you must do!
(Although if you need a break, then obviously you should)
I lost count of the number of times this was said to me!
The last thing I needed or wanted was to be away from them,
In fact with all 3 of my babies, the most I was away from them was a couple of hours (before they were 6 months old)

The best thing I did early on was go out! We went to a local pub for a quick drink with the baby in her pram and it felt great! I took a cushion to sit on as had episiotomy and forceps delivery so lots of stitches. But it really perked my mood up!

Hi OP! I made a list for a thread called 'things you wish you'd known before giving birth' a while ago and people said it was really helpful, so I've found it and posted it again below. It was not long after DS was born so the experience was fairly fresh in my mind (he's now wriggling around in my bed watching Octonauts, wiping his runny nose on my duvet).

1. Start a MN post titled 'things you wish you'd known before giving birth' - well done OP, you're off to a good start

1. Lots of cheap pairs of black knickers, leggings, vests etc. The cheaper and thinner the better, it is roasting on maternity wards and you won't want to worry about ruining decent stuff. Also old towels for home.

1. I don't want to panic you but be prepared for the amount of blood - it's totally normal and you'll be fine but this shocked me a bit. Take lots of large maternity pads so you can change them frequently to help you feel cleaner. Take a few of the pads they put on your bed in hospital home too.

1. Anusol. I had stitches but they didn't actually hurt at all, even when I went for a wee. The piles on the other hand were a bugger. I used to wear 2 long maternity pads so they literally went from front to back and overlapped them near my bottom so I had a bit of extra padding there which helped when I sat down.

1. If you need/want pain relief, demand it and don't be fobbed off. I had 9lb 5.5oz DS1 by induction and only had gas and air from about 7cm dilated because the midwife told me I wasn't in labour. DH was at home an hour away and I was told not to ring him because I had ages to go yet. The mental stress of being in a side room alone thinking I wasn't even close was shit and totally unnecessary. It also meant I ran out of time for an epidural which I wanted and was told by the midwives on the delivery ward I needed.

1. Don't be disappointed if you don't feel a sudden rush of love when baby is put on your chest. I was just relieved it was over and we were both still alive.

1. Be kind to yourselves and don't expect too much to begin with. You've both had a shock both mentally and physically. A lot can change in just a week.

1. Not everyone breastfeeds and it can be quite tricky to get the hang of. It's amazing if it works for you but it didn't for us and it turned into a really stressful experience. Choose what's right for you even if that goes against some midwives' advice.

1. Don't rush to get home. We were home within 24hrs and in hindsight I wish I'd stayed an extra night at least.

10. Have faith that you CAN do it. We are all the result of hundreds of years of women giving birth and you are about to join the best club in the world.

Good luck OP, let us know what you have (if you don't already know!)

Don't get attached to your birth plan - it isn't within your control and may change based on circumstances. Do skin to skin immediately and attempt to breast feed even if you have no milk - the attempted feeding is what will bring the milk in. Take lots of photos - they grow so fast, even within a few weeks!

Don't worry if your recovery takes longer than other people. My friend cooked a roast dinner the day after she gave birth - I was in hospital for a week! Same if people start pressuring you to do things before you feel ready - if you don't feel up to a family bbq / evening out with your friends / day trip to the beach at 2 weeks post partem then that's absolutely fine (of course, if you do then go for it and enjoy!). Everyone has different bodies, labours and recovery times - take it at your own pace.

Also try to keep in mind that everything is a phase with a baby. Those newborn days can feel relentless but really go by so quickly. You will find something that stresses you out completely one week can be a total non-issue by the next! Try to relax and enjoy it all as much as you can. Good luck!

Babies cry a lot and sometimes it isn’t clear why, and it can go on for hours. I wasn’t prepared for a fussy and overtired baby to emerge every night and I struggled with it, convinced I was doing something wrong, or that there was something wrong with the baby. I’m only 4 weeks in, but I’m already finding it easier to manage as we learn how best to soothe and various coping mechanisms for when the screaming won’t stop! Also, being reassured that it is normal has helped.

Having your first poo after giving birth can be terrifying. Suppositories are your friend here.