DH and third hand smoke

[shesakeeper]

DH smokes, always has. He once managed to quit for a couple of months after DS was born (though I do vividly recall him going out for a fag while I was in labour) but any attempt at quitting is short-lived and he always goes back.

I'm having another DC in 11 weeks and DH is still smoking regularly, not in the house or around me and DS, but I can smell it strongly on him, especially at nighttime.

I'm desperate for him to quit. The smell is nauseating to me, and I am extremely concerned about the effects of third hand smoke on our children. I want to BF DC2 and have them beside me in a co-sleeper crib, and definitely don't want my husband in bed with us while he smokes. I also don't want him holding our baby or wearing smoky clothes around them.

But I know I can't force him to give up. I've told him my feelings about it again and again, and it seems like that's all I can do.

He's the kind of person who leaves everything to the last minute so I can see that he's just going to smoke right up until I give birth again. I'm not ok with that.

How can I make him see this has to stop?

Can you ask him to try a vape thing? Which would help with the smells at least!

I was just going to suggest the same thing, although I would actually buy it for him and ask him to try it. My DH uses one (I did as well until I got pregnant) and we discussed it with midwife at an appointment and she, while not saying it was 100% safe, said they weren’t something they would have any concerns about

I bought DH a vape last time, he used it for a bit but said it just made him want to smoke more.

I think he owes it to you to try again!

If you can get him to read Allen Carr's 'Easy way to quit smoking' definitely do that. I read this book 4.5years ago and have not touched a cigarette since. I loved smoking and never thought I'd be able to give up. The book repeats itself ALOT but I think thats all part of why it works.

That being said he has to actually want to stop smoking himself.

Good luck

My OH quit via using a vape. He progressed from the strongest amount of nicotine down each level until for a while he was smoking the ones that have no nicotine in them, which helped him to quit the habit.

Perhaps you can suggest to your DH that he sees the doctor for some support in quitting smoking. A friend of mine was given some medication that makes smoking taste horrible and she managed to quit that way. I think that it is about not only wanting to do it but also finding what works for them I guess.

Does he know that he must wash, change his clothes and wait 20 mins after smoking before he can pick up the new born.

To be honest, until I just googled third hand smoke just now, I thought that smoke 'residue' was completely un-harmful. Can you show him an article on it to help him understand more? I just read this one: www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/tobacco/Pages/How-Parents-Can-Prevent-Exposure-Thirdhand-Smoke.aspx but I'm sure there are better ones out there.
Then perhaps some guilt will kick in! At least he has attempted to quit before so it's clear he doesn't want to smoke forever.