Advice on living with a smoker whilest pregnant

[XxamyXx88]

I am 35 weeks pregnant and currently living with parents due to financial circumstances. I moved back home when I was 30 weeks pregnant. My father has always smoked roll ups and always in the house. I got worried and when I asked my mother she said it's his home, roll ups are not as bad and baby will be fine because I am a filter for the smoke. I have to shut myself away in different rooms of the house to avoid him and it's making me stressed and depressed.

Why did you ask your mum and not your dad directly?

We dont have a very good relationship and my father smoked around my mother when she was pregnant with me and my brother. He thinks there is nothing with it.

Ask your mw for some leaflets you can leave with him. Explain its smoke free or baby free. His choice.

I've been in tears at times and said I don't want my baby to die. He doesn't listen whatsoever.

I think you need to have a strong word with your dad and tell him how you feel.

If he won't listen (which seems like the case), then I don't really think there's much you can do. Your mum is right, it's their house/their rules.

However, I would make it very clear to your dad that if he continues to disrespect your wishes about this, he won't be having very much contact with your baby when it arrives.

This seems like a horrible situation, OP

Whilst I wouldn't want to live with a smoker whilst pregnant, I would just avoid being in the same room as he is whenever he's smoking, and not worry too much. Second hand smoke for a few weeks in late pregnancy is not going to hurt your baby.

However, what are your accommodation plans for after the baby is born? Having a smoker around a newborn is a definite no-no as far as I'm concerned. I would spell it out to him that he won't even be allowed to hold his new grandchild unless he has a wash and changes his clothes every time he has a cigarette.

You really need to find alternative accommodation or get the health visitor/midwife to read them the riot act regarding the increased risk of SIDS. Is there any reason why he couldn't smoke outside the back door? I get that it's his home, but surely most grandparents would be mortified at the thought that they were putting their grandchild's health at risk.

I hate smoke around babies.

Are you in a position to move out? If it's his house you might not be in a position to force him to smoke outside.

If you can't move you just need to protect yourself as much as possible. Don't stay in the same room when he smokes.

When the baby arrives keep them separate too. No holding baby. Second and third hand smoke is seriously dangerous.

Second hand smoke is incredibly dangerous in pregnancy and once baby is born, but it’s his house, and you’ve moved out and now moved back in, so there’s not much you can do really besides find alternative accommodation. How old are you?

I have a similar issue with my DH, though he doesn't smoke in the house. I hope you get this sorted OP.

Such a difficult situation to be in I was in a similar one myself, if you can get some leaflets about how dangerous it is to the baby and yourself and leave them lying around the house for him to find, just a suggestion that worked for me

I would be more worried about a smoker being around a newborn than a pregnant woman tbh though clearly both are bad.

Is moving out a possibility or are you relying on them for practical help once Baby born?

I'm sure your mw can help with pointing you and him in the right direction with regards to facts. She may even come to your house if she's not too stretched? Worth asking.

I'm 30. I was made redundant from work so could not afford to stay in my flat and they don't allow children there anyway. I get maternity pay from the government but its not enough to rent somewhere. My mother has promised that she won't allow the smoking once baby is here and he must go outside then.

And is your dad on board with this plan?