Didn't want to find out sex but now been told anyway.

[Lemontwist]

I'm 23 weeks pregnant and had my anolmoly scan a couple of weeks ago.
I told the sonographer at the time that I did not want to know the sex and so she didn't tell me.
I work in the same hospital. I was asked by a few friends at work to see the scan picture and, despite me having said earlier in the conversation that I was not finding out the sex, one of my sonographer friends announced its a boy! He said it was clear to see on the picture. Not to me, but then that's not my area of expertise!
I'm so upset at finding out (not because it's a boy) and Ive been dwelling on it all morning. Nothing I can do now I suppose though.
Not sure what to say at home either. DH is adamant he doesn't want to know. We have two DSs already and would have been happy with either this time round too.
I know there's nothing to be done, just wanted a rant. Main thing is, I know, a healthy baby.

That was a dick move.

Similar happened to me. It was our last chance to have a ‘surprise’, too. DH wasn’t with me so I asked him what he wanted me to do. We had a funny period of a few weeks where I’d say “him......or is it a her???”, “her.....or is it a him???”. In the end he caved and asked me to tell him. It’s fine - you already know these things stop mattering by the time the baby becomes a child with a personality and so forth. But yeah, it’s rubbish when it does happen. Sorry it’s happened to you too.

Did you tell that sonographer what a bellend he'd been? You'd think that in his line of work he would have learned to be sensitive/aware of this issue.

He's just winding you up. The sonographer wouldn't have printed a picture that revealed it if you had said you didn't want to know.

The idiot! did he apologise?! I'm really sorry thats very unfair. So are you going to try to keep it a secret for your DH for the rest of your pregnancy?

It's nowhere near the same but I didn't want to know then at 13 weeks I showed my 12 week scan to a couple of friends who said " thats a girl" you can see a forked nub!

I didn't want to know but now that I feel like I kinda know Im going to ask for the gender in my next scan. Otherwise it will play on my mind.

Baby2018 was it a girl??

Im finding out week after next @WazFilmFlam having had two people say " oh thats a girl" without me asking what I was having Im now thinking of it as a girl so I think I may as well find out because if it was a boy Id be surprised now

Dick move indeed! I'm going to have to ask him if it was a wind up bit he's not usually that kind of guy.
I actually have got the feeling it's a boy and have often been referring to it as such but I still really want that surprise when it comes to it.
Baby2018 I think people just speak before they think. I have a friend who's also pregnant and was going on about the nub theory all the time. I cropped the relevant bits when I sent her a picture of my 12 week scan just in case!

Was it clear on the picture tho? Sounds like a wind up!

On my gender scan, the picture of the bits was a up shot of the groin (like looking up towards the bum)

2018 you can't tell from the nub at 12 weeks so if you want to keep it a surprise you still can. The whole nub theory thing is a guessing game, it's no more accurate than swinging a ring on a string over your bump. Girls and boys look exactly the same until about 14 weeks.

Wish I'd thought of that @lemontwist ! I wasn't really aware of it when I shared the photo. Thanks @bertiebotts I'd heard if you're over 12 you can tell I was 12+3 in the scan pic good to know it might still be a surprise!

You definitely can't tell at 12/40 otherwise they would tell you. I was adamant I saw boys bits at 12/40 scan and was really pissed off they'd scanned there... She is now a girl!

You have my sympathy. I wanted a surprise. It took me eight years to get pregnant, my only child. I managed 8, 12, 20 and 32 week scans in ignorance (yes I know the first two of these were too early to tell). At my 36 week scan I started by saying we don't know and we don't want to. The sonography huffed "that it was pretty obvious" at this stage. I was happy to not look at the screen to maintain the suprise. She then referred to "him" several times. I was gutted - not with the gender, I genuinely had not preference but I was furious that she spoiled my surprise. I'm still cross eight years later.

The sonographer referred to our last son as a he aswell. I wanted a surprise.

At about 12 weeks all babies have a sticky out bit so to the untrained eye look like boys. By about 15 weeks this has recessed into the clitoris for girls and grown into a penis for boys. It does vary and can become clear earlier, but if you have a private gender scan they recommend doing it after 16 weeks for this reason.

calm down margret you shouldnt be cross its Ok its been 8 years!

I didn't like my sonographer but I'm glad she didn't reveal the surprise. I told her straight away I didn't want to know, she said that it was ok but warned me that she didn't like to call the baby "it" so referred to it as "he" or "him" regardless of the sex.

Going back to when my mum was pregnant with my brother. She said to the woman she didn't want to know. The sonographer asked me what I wanted and I said a sister then she goes "Well you don't always get what you want." oh great, thanks for spoiling the gender surprise! It's so unprofessional!