Staying happy after PND last time - tips please! :)

[Zamaz]

Hello! My DD is 2.5 years, and I’m 30 weeks pregnant with her little brother.
I had horrendous (to the point of being in a mother and baby unit for a couple of weeks) but thankfully short-lived postnatal depression and anxiety last time, from which I made a full recovery.
Just wondering if anyone has any ideas to add to the thinking / planning I’ve been doing about ways to increase the chances of staying happy and healthy this time around after LO arrives?
Keen for ideas, tips, tricks, ways of looking at things or stuff that you found did / has / you’re hoping will work for you!
Thanks in advance for any pearls of wisdom or general musings!

We threw money at the problem, which for us meant putting our dog in regular stints of homeboarding for the first two months so that we didn't have to worry about walking her all the time.

We also bought a chest freezer, and bought loads of frozen food and did some batch cooking, so that we wouldn't need to cook once the baby arrived. MIL also did a lot of batch cooking for us. Baby 2 is now 5 months old and we are still eating MIL's casseroles :)

I felt it was too much of a luxury for us, but a cleaner would be so helpful.

DH also used his holiday to take regular long weekends, so that he was at home more in the early months.

I also made a weekly chart and wrote down every toddler group or similiar in the area so I could see at glance what my options each day were, to help me get out every morning.

I think all these things eased the burden a bit. It's still been hard but I've felt so much better about things this time round.

For me daily or near daiy coffee/walks with other new mums was key.

This can't be helped but I had such a more positive experience with the birth of dd2 that although I suffered with depression during the pregnancy the birth and afterwards was amazing. I did hypnobirthing which I really think helped.

I also knew how hard it would be so I was mentally in a better place. We had no help, no family in the UK but I spoke to my dm every day and that helped also.

We also chucked money at anything I thought would be hard. Dd1 CM took her and collected her from school for 3 months so I could get a routine with f.eeding dd2

I'm 33 weeks with baby no 2 and following this. Thanks for asking OP. I keep saying and people keep telling me it won't happen again but I never saw it coming the first time. Loving the planner advice for groups etc. I definitely felt isolated.

Getting fresh air, seeing friends. Lowering expectations of yourself, not demanding you're madly in love with your baby from the off and not comparing yourself. I also find mindfulness is a good approach for feelings, stops them spiralling and lingering.

I had horrendous PND first time but not at all the second time, and I can’t say for sure what did it but I made sure I was easier on myself - dropped all expectations. I nested properly, I didn’t care about the outside world (unless it was to go for walks and such, but I mean even then I was contained in a bubble with my eldest and newborn). Hypnobirthing was absolutely amazing and gave a much better experience when my son was handed to me, allowing myself to nap during the day when baby slept. Etc etc

I think my general rule of thumb was to balls to the wind life for awhile. Not care about anything but my babies, absolutely everything else was background noise

Thank you so much to all of you who've taken the time to reply! I really appreciate it. Def agree with those of you who've talked about simplifying where poss and dropping expectations of self - definite pitfalls last time around. Also hoping the fact that the prospect of a baby seems more 'real' this time around will help - something I just really struggled with last time, it felt completely theoretical and I couldn't imagine how life would change.
Thank you all again - you've made me feel much more positive and hopeful.