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Original poster

finding out the sex

35 replies

bumbly · 09/05/2007 10:49

discuss..

am curious to know what you all think about it? do you agree? do you want to keep the sex a surprise till due date? but also if you did go ahead with finding out...what happened and what did you feel? happy? disappointed? upset? surprised? did it helped to bond more with "bump"? etc

OP posts:
katybird · 11/05/2007 16:45

I'm 25 weeks with my first and we found out at the sex, expecting a boy. I wouldn't have been disappointed if he'd not been cooperative at the scan and I'd had to wait, but I think it's helped me to bond, I can think of him as a him rather than as an it.

It's also avoided me getting lots of pink items! We've already had lots of hand-me-downs donated from friends. I'm keen not to put him in blue all the time but it's quite hard to avoid (although I do like yellow!). Lots of white and cream/brown out there though. And if we were having a girl I'd already found some lovely butterfly wallpaper, I hate following stereotypes but it's really not suitable for LO!

It's totally personal preference though, and if DP didn't want to find out I'd happily have waited. Cupcake - do you have a strong preference? If you do it might be better to find out and potentially be disappointed now, and have time to get used to it, than to wait until the day and have memories of the birth tarnished by disappointment.

squishy · 11/05/2007 16:50

As I said, I really wanted a girl, but would have been delighted with either. On the day, after the relief at the birth being all over and the awe at having a living, breathing baby on me instead of in me, it was the icing on the cake to find out she was a she!! :0

rhubarb90 · 11/05/2007 18:15

My 20 week scan is on Tuesday and my local hospital is another one that won't tell you. you have to book a further scan at a cost of £50, which we really don't know whether to go for. We'd love to know the sex but really don't have money to chuck around. And of course they say in the hospital leaflets that they can't guarantee they'll be able to see anyway, in which case it really would be money down the drain. As long as everything looks fine and healthy at 20 weeks I'm sure I'll cope with not knowing anyway

Lemmiwinks · 11/05/2007 19:38

chocolatekimmy, I'm just saying from my experience of people who have found out the sex versus those that have not, that they have generally fallen into those two catergories. I'm not saying that's a bad thing though, it's totally a personal choice. However, just because I (and I assume you as well) live in the 21st century and am able to find these things out should I choose to, doesn't mean it's totally bizarre that I want to. You say that as though it's a negative thing. Everyone is perfectly entitled to want to find out or not. The fact that our grandmothers could not find out the sex is irrelevant in my opinion and not a reason to not find out these days. You clearly would not personally want to know and that's absolutely fine, but there's nothing wrong with us who do want to know.

Lipsy, I totally agree with you! Having a little tiny person handed to you, who is actually your child and suddenly in this world and totally dependant on you will be so overwhelming and, like you said, enough of a surprise that the sex would be more of a side point for me too at that point.

J20BABY · 11/05/2007 19:50

rhubarb, my 20 week scan is tuesday too

are you on the sep thread?

i so want to find out, dd had her legs crossed, and i know it sounds awful but i will be devestated if i don't find out this time, shopping is the only thing that keeps me sane at the moment, and i think i've bought every neutral outfit going!

lispy · 11/05/2007 22:26

Lemmiwinks explained what i meant about being surprised by the actual baby!!! Of course I rationally knew he was coming, but the delight when i actually had him. TBH, I couldn't have cared less if it was a boy or a girl so the surprise of being told during my scan would have been the same reaction had i been told after his birth. I'm watching him now and he's still a delightful surprise!!!!! There's a good internet site for non girly or boyish clothes called nordickids I think...But still, I don't like yellow!!!!!!!

foxybrown · 11/05/2007 22:37

Didn't find out the first time, and was all a bit of an anti-climax as I was left asking "what is it?" after delivery. Found out with 2 and 3 because we wanted to be able to talk to our older ones about him or her. With number 4 we had a CVS after a rather upsetting nuchal scan, and it was a case of something good coming from something horrible.

foxybrown · 11/05/2007 22:37

Didn't find out the first time, and was all a bit of an anti-climax as I was left asking "what is it?" after delivery. Found out with 2 and 3 because we wanted to be able to talk to our older ones about him or her. With number 4 we had a CVS after a rather upsetting nuchal scan, and it was a case of something good coming from something horrible.

MamaMaiasaura · 11/05/2007 22:40

had this conversation tonoght. I found out with DS1. DP wants to know with this one (our first baby together), I was saying no as want a 'surprise', but after reading this thread I thoink there are soem really valid points. At least by knowing can sort out name and clothes etc and the biggest surprise is the actual baby.. not wether girl or boy.

ManchesterMummy2b · 12/05/2007 11:39

We're not finding out, mostly because my mother-in-law keeps telling us we are making her life difficult by not finding out. She's sick of buying things in lemon and white, or so she keeps blathering on. It's all she talks about, and even had the audacity to moan about it a family funeral recently.

Old cliche here, but as long as it's healthy, we really don't care.

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