First pregnancy and can't stop worrying

[Dimples75]

Hi all

So good to have somewhere like this to go and spill!
I'm currently around 6 weeks pregnant with a very much longed-for little one. We have been trying for years including a failed IVF treatment, his low sperm and my low egg reserve so you can imagine the excitement.

My problem is probably very common but I can't relax at all. I watch my body CONSTANTLY for signs, good and bad. If morning sickness isn't there when I wake up as per usual, panic stations, even if it arrives later on! My breasts aren't sore so again panic! I realise this isn't logical but I know you understand, love and fear for your child isn't.

We have our first doctor's appointment tomorrow and am looking forward to getting 'into the hospital system' so to speak and getting scan appointment through.

Thanks for letting me rhyme on. Your own experiences would be good to hear. This little one is a miracle and so loved already.

L xx

We've told people who
a) we would want to know if a miscarriage did happen (immediate family and close friends)
b) need to know, such as work for time off for appointments or people we were supposed to be planning holidays with but no longer can.

Everyone else will be 12 weeks.

Sorry OP, I posted on the wrong thread!

But all the same, congratulations. I'm also a worrier. As my mum said to me when I was anxious, once they're there they are quite resilient. Chances are you will be fine.

First of all, congratulations. Second of all, your feelings are completely normal.

I went through 2 rounds of IVF; I had a missed miscarriage after our first and I was so anxious during my second pregnancy that I couldn’t enjoy it. It actually spoilt me pregnancy and the first few months of my baby’s life - I had post natal anxiety and can barely remember the first 6 months. I know it’s easier said than done but if there’s anything you can do to put your mind at ease, do it!

Can you book an early scan to give you some reassurance? X

Thanks for your reply. I'm seriously considering an early scan although may have to go private as there's no medical reason for it, just my stress levels! I think the weekend is worse as at least work is a distraction plus my hubs is on 12 hr shifts so he's not here to bounce off!

Thanks for your message. They are v resilient, you're right. I suspect I'll relax once the first few months are over x

I was worried all day every day. But there's nothing you can do except wait it out. I was miserable when I felt sick and anxious if I didn't! I didn't really relax at all until the 12 week scan. And at 13 weeks I'm still not really relaxed about it but not so anxious. Just a waiting game. But remember there's more chance of it working out than not!

I’m afraid this is completely normal.

I’m 30+5 and I’m worse now for worrying than I was in the early stages. Each stage has its worry.

My poor husband is sick to death (just to point out, he’s incredibly supportive) of me uttering the words ‘haven’t felt the baby move much today yet’.

I’m constantly worried it’s all going to go wrong and am still trying to hide it from people to protect myself.

The best thing I can say is, take each day as it comes and another day done is another day closer to meeting your baby.

Firstly congratulations

Slightly different situation, I miscarried my first baby so found my second pregnancy really hard - constantly worried and never really believed she would arrive until she did. The thing which kept me sane in the early days (which I know people are going to shout at me for) is a Home Doppler. I could hear her whenever I got concerned after the 12 week scan and it kept me going until I could feel her. I know Home dopplers are dangerous when used for reassurance for reduced movements however as soon as I could feel movements regularly I never used it again. In the early days it really helped me to keep going. (Sometimes they can be tricky to find, and I did go a couple of days where I couldn't find her - if you think this will stress you out more then I wouldn't recommend using one.)

I wouldn't do a scan earlier than eight weeks. The amount of people who end up on here stressed because they were earlier on than they thought and no heartbeat was visible at six or seven weeks. Not worth doing to yourself. Did mine at eight weeks, it relieved my anxiety for all of a day and a half, but then it came back with a vengeance! Still feel anxious at 28 weeks. Something you'll probably need to get used to!

On the other hand, I had an abdominal scan at 7+2 where the heartbeat could easily be seen.

It's the best £50 I've ever spent and settled my anxiety massively. Not feeling too anxious about the 12 weeks scan now.

Thanks everyone. So good to talk to people who understand. We had our initial GP appointment this morning. He was lovely although when he said 'do you feel pregnant? do your breasts feel sore or tender?' I was like 'errrrrrr no' so of course panic stations AGAIN! But I went on to the lovely mumsnet ladies and read through a tonne of posts which all said they had no breast changes at all so I have to remember everyone is different. Just the continual sickness and head-heavy tiredness for me for now. Not that I'm complaining in any way! He also has written to our hospital to request an earlier scan due to our history and my anxiety which was very good of him. It's so difficult to relax. I suspect I won't until my little one is in my arms.

xx

I am 24 weeks tomorrow and I find I am worrying even more now I can feel her as I obsess over how much I feel her.
I have an appointment on Wednesday with the midwife and I know that's why I am worrying so much, I always worry either side of an appointment for a few days and not for any particular reason!
Just take each day as it comes, it soon flies by!

do you feel pregnant? do your breasts feel sore or tender?

Not all women ‘feel’ pregnant and not all women have sore breasts. I’ve had three DC’s and didn’t have sore breasts for any of them.

Congratulations OP! Try and enjoy your pregnancy.

Once again thanks ladies. I seem to worry all the time so am looking forward to my first scan. It's all very new with so much depending on it after all the waiting and the heartbreak to get to this point.