Telling a friend I'm pregnant

[BonusPoints]

I am about 9 weeks pregnant with my second child. We have largely kept it a secret this time round as felt like we told people early with my first pregnancy and it didn't feel like we had long enough to enjoy it without other people knowing.
However, I am away on a hen do next weekend. I plan to try and keep it a secret as much as I can. I'm not a big drinker anyway and plan on sneaking in some non alcoholic lookalikes. One of the girls on the do is a good friend and has had major problems conceiving her second child. I feel that it would be better for her to know in advance as I don't want her to work it out for herself and potentially get upset in front of other people. I was planning to just send her a short, concise text just explaining that I wanted her to know before the weekend but I just don't know how to begin the text. I really feel like it's the right thing to do but need some help with the wording, please???

If she's a good friend then a phone call would surely be nicer?

No, I agree a text would be better. It gives her time to compose herself and reply in her own time, and she isn't "put on the spot". I don't know how to word it, but timing wise, try and make sure it's evening or when you know she will be at home, and not at her desk at work etc incase she gets upset.

That was exactly my logic behind sending a text. I don't want her to feel like I've put her on the spot and then she can take her time to reply if she needs to process it.

I was already on planning on sending in the evening but need to know when she's home rather than out in public.

Would something like "I wanted you to know in advance of next weekend that I'm pregnant. I don't want to make a big deal of it and would prefer for everyone else not to find out but I thought you should know before then. Hope you understand my reasons behind sending this text x"?

I think you need to include something about why you wanted to tell her ie in case she works it out. Otherwise sounds a bit mean that you only want to tell the one person who will be upset.

I'd say something like "Really looking forward to X's hen do next weekend and catching up with everyone. I'm going to try and keep it to myself, but I won't be drinking as I'm 9 weeks pregnant. I hope that's not too tough for you to hear, but I thought it best to tell you in advance in case you worked it out and didn't want it to be a shock. Xx"

Hi X! Looking forward to next weekend and seeing everyone, how are things with you? I just wanted to let you know ahead of when I see you that I'm pregnant, about 9 weeks. I'm going to try my best to hide it but in case my cover is blown I didn't want you to find out in front of others and feel awkward, I hope I've done the right thing? I know this is a difficult time for you xxx

I think the above suggestions are really good apart from the ‘hope that’s not too tough to hear’ (patronising) or ‘I hope I’ve done the right thing? I know this is difficult...’ (too late if not). I’d use either message but leave those bits out.

Thank you for the suggestions. I agree that I should send an abridged version of the two. I certainly do not want to come across as patronising. The chances are she will be pleased for me and it will be a complete non issue but I owe it to her to be sensitive about it.

Go with your original text. As someone that’s been through the same issues as your friend, that’s what I’d prefer to receive.