Anxiety at stretch and sweep

[Teaandbi5cuit5]

NC for this x
I am currently 40+5 weeks pregnant and I had an appointment made this morning for a strech and sweep.

The midwife was absolutely lovely, but as usual my anxiety took over.
She said that she was able to feel the Baby's head, but that due to the fact that I was so anxious, I kept tightening up and she couldn't sweep my cervix.

My ds(2) was born via emcs after a week long of failed inductions. I didn't realise how traumatised I was and I'm feeling so low. I feel like I've failed.
Some women have had worse births experiences than me, but I literally felt overcome with emotion and memories that I couldn't even get a strech and sweep.
Has anyone else had this happen? I'm pathetic I know.

I had what I consider to be a traumatic first birth though it was medically straightforward (induced for bleeding after a sweep I didn't want caused massive bleeding, baby in the wrong position and had heart rate decels with each contraction, then became distressed. I had rotational forceps with an episiotomy. Had a really easy recovery though - well managed pain and no infection or anything.
I haven't had my sweep yet (40 weeks with no2) but can imagine feeling the same as you about it. I'm going to try a vaginal delivery this time but I really do have to focus on not becoming anxious when I think about it. Are you trying for a VBAC and hoping to avoid a section? Have you spoken to anyone about your birth experience? Have you tried any Hypnobirthing or anything? It may be worth giving some of those exercises a go to see if it soothes your anxiety. Has your midwife offered any other help to ease anxiety?

@fannythrobbing thanks for replying x

I don't think the midwife was aware of the extent of my anxiety until she was actually examining me.
Yes I plan on having a Vbac, but for the last 2 hours I have been in bed considering calling up and seeing if I can book a c section..... I really don't want to be induced and risk complications again.

I have gone through my whole pregnancy hell bent on a Vbac delivery, so I don't know if this is the anxiety talking or logic.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I had a Cs after failed induction with my DS and one of the problems was the constant internals/sweeps etc over the week they were trying to induce. It culminated with me being spoken to really unpleasantly by a consultant who was trying to do yet another internal exam and I just couldn't relax at all so she couldn't reach my cervix.

This time I wanted to try for vbac but really didn't want to go through the induction or internals so decided to leave the baby to its own devices and either she comes naturally if her own accord or I have a Cs. Once I had the Cs booked I felt so much better and more confident in my choice. Yes I may well not get the vbac I'd like but I feel ok with that and more in control.

Good luck however it works out.

Definitely speak to your midwife, it’s not too late to book a CS and you may find it eases your mind if you do book one. Good luck, wishing you a healthy and safe delivery (regardless of the method!)

How about just waiting to see what happens without having any more sweeps? If you go into labour then that’s a bonus. If you don’t, you could request an elective section rather than being induced?

Thanks ladies xx I'm going to relax today and if I feel the same tomorrow then I will call and book a section xx